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WTF do men think that women are pieces of meat rant rant rant - very long sorry

137 replies

Bloodymen · 18/02/2006 18:51

My dh is an arse

Why cant he appreciate that I dont want to be touched, groped, pawed at and bloody leave me alone.

Its not funny - I hate it. He thinks a game but when does 'messing around' go too far?

For example, tonight I was lying in bed as I feel crap. He comes up stairs and demands sex. I say no. He comments that maybe he should find someone else more obliging. Hes only joking so I laugh. Then we are messing about with him holding my wrists and just playing fighting.

Then he hurts my wrists, and is squshing me so I try to get away, but he is too heavy. Then he puts his hands up my top and i tell him to stop but seeing as I cant move, he doesnt. He thinks we are playing, but im not anymore. He pulls my top over my face and so i cant see or move. I scratch him and he tells me that if i dont stop then he will hurt me and scratches me back. I hate having my top over my face (painful memories associated with it iyswim - he probably doesnt remember, but I do)

He bites me on the nipple and it hurts. He still seems to think we are playing. I honestly cant free my hands and my top is getting in my mouth and I cant see. I think he realises that ive had enough as he lets go of my wrists alittle. I instinctivly reach out and scratch his face He stomps off saying that I am frigid and that because we havent had sex for a week there is something wrong with me. My wrists are bruised. But he was only playing. It just brings back memories that I would rather forget.

I asked him a few minutes later if he would go to the shop and he says he would only go in exchange for oral sex. I tell him to piss off. I do not want sex, I am not in the mood FFS why is that so hard to understand?

He is wondering round now like we were just playing but I hated it. I tell him and he will say that I was playing too. But i wasnt and its getting increasingly often that this sort of thing is happening. Like last night, when i said i didnt want sex, he told me just to roll over and he will cuddle me and so of course i did and he pulled my Pjs down and tryed to do it anyway. I had to ask him 4 times to stop. He doesnt seem to think that he is doing anything wrong but being treated like a piece of meat is getting me down and making me alot less likely to want sex with him. And also, his hair is all greasy and he needs to shave and the feeling of it on my skin makes me cringe.

I have often posted about how good our relationship is but this aspect of it is making em feel worthless. I am sorry about the name change but there are people in RL aswel as my DH who read MN.

He is great with the kids, does his share of the housework etc and we normally get on fine. How can I make him understand that I cant be treated like this. I know that lack of sex gets to him and makes him moody but thats something that he will have to deal with himself.

OP posts:
Passionflower · 19/02/2006 20:04

What was spoilt kid routine for? Not getting any?

Did you manage to have that talk?

TBH I'd find the supernice husband routine more disturbing than a strop with the underlying situation as it is.

Bloodymen · 19/02/2006 20:22

I think the spoilt brat routine was because he is missing sex, I dont know, maybe hormones build up or something?

I didnt manage to have a talk with him as we havent had any time alone this afternoon and tbh I feel a bit silly bringing it up now, 24 hours later, esspecially when things have been so normal today iyswim.

I told him last night that he had scared me and he said sorry, but then he seems to 'forget'. It wont happen again though as I wont let it. I wont play messing around games with him and he wont be coming anywhere near me until I decide I can trust him again.

OP posts:
Passionflower · 19/02/2006 20:33

You must trust your own judgement but if I were you I would still try to get him to go to councelling with you.

It is sad that you can't mess around with your DH and trust him not to go too far.

FWTW I don't think it is silly to bring it up after 24 hours. Why not say you've been thinking about what happened and you feel that you would both benefit from talking it through with a third party. If he really cares about you he will do this for you.

notasheep · 19/02/2006 21:01

Bloodymen=i have only just found this thread,sorry a bit late in supporting you.

I got scared just reading it.
Cant really add to anybody elses post.
hope you can talk this through

mcmum · 19/02/2006 21:27

hi notasheep how are u and dh now ? we had similar problem with the dreaded porn if i remember rightly

notasheep · 19/02/2006 22:08

I am going to Relate starting on Feb 27th(dp doesnt know yet) havent found anything of late but have no trust in him.

You have a good memory!

Caligula · 19/02/2006 22:13

Haven't read the rest of the thread, only your first post, but I would seriously tell any man who treated me like that, that if it happened again, I would call the police and have him charged with assault.

And I would mean it.

mcmum · 19/02/2006 22:13

coz my dh thinks im only one who has problem with porn, having read this thread a few times now i know im not only one with porn problem and look where it can lead to . my dh has been to relate and spoken to them, i asked him to leave when i found it the last time we spoke but have to say he has been great since and promises faithfully won't do again, as i have told him that this is final chance and i mean it this time

notasheep · 19/02/2006 22:17

I dont think leopards change their spots-sorry that isnt very supportive.Hope it works out for you.

I think men have this way of turning things around to make the woman feel guilty-like you made me hit you

mcmum · 19/02/2006 22:24

hi notasheep,

good luck let me know how you get on and what they suggest to you ive been there and done that, then i opened my thread on here - or should i say can of worms, quite a few mnetters thought i was mad and should just let him get on with it. but i dont like it and im watching him like a hawk i just hope he realises that ive definately had enuff and i wont even think about leaving him if it happens again i will pack bags for him and throw him out -

notasheep · 19/02/2006 22:31

You sound very STRONG good for you,Ill keep you posted.
I will be making a decision this year

foxinsocks · 24/02/2006 20:00

how's it all going

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