Calling Mums with more than 1child.

[Northerner]

Did you always know that you wanted more than 1? My ds is 19 months, and I do not feel that I am ready to have another child. I feel our family is complete, and can not imagine ever feeling broody again. Dh thinks next year would be a good time to try for number 2, I don't.

A friend of mine had her first baby 6 weeks ago, and she already knows she wants another soon. She sees her family with 2 kids.

Just wondered what your experiences are.

I always said I wanted 3 whereas DH wanted 2. After DS2 was born I thought that that was it and at the time was happy with our little gang for a while. DS2 was about 5 months old when I started to feel broody again, the feeling came and went a few times over a period of about 14 months. I tried desparately hard to change DH's mind and I never ever EVER imagained I'd manage it.
Well he did on boxing day last year and our lovely, gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful DS3 arrived 8 weeks ago.

However I have since realised that I would go on having babies if DH wanted more.......sadily he really does mean no more this time

BTW he told me he'd changed his mind on the 30th Dec (after 4 days thinking about all the answers I'd given to his arguments) by which time I was already PG.....only just but PG all the same

I always wanted a minimum of 4 - with 8 being the ideal. My parents both came from big families (my mum was one of 6, my dad one of 4), and while they have all had their ups and downs, I always felt there was much more 'cushioning' than I had with just one sibling who I didn't get on with.

I had been desperately broody for 3 years before having ds, and was planning no 2 within minutes of his birth. Musch as I loved ds I couldn't bear the thought of him being an only child. Now I have 2, and I am watching my littlest baby getting bigger and bigger (she's 2 1/2 now) and I would love another. I have a bit of a thing about even numbers so it would have to be more than one more!

Now that I have 2, having more is not practical, and the longing isn't as strong as it was before I had one or two, but I don't feel like my family is complete.

Northener, please don't allow yourself to be swayed into having a child that you know in your heart you don't want. As people have already said, you may feel differently in a few months or even years, but IMO it would be wrong to go into it unless you are 100% sure - especially if you would be doing the majority of the caring. And this is certainly not a decision to rush!

Everyone has their ideal family size, and I believe that you probably 'know' when you've had your last. There is nothing wrong with only wanting one. Take your time and trust your instincts. Best wishes xxx

I always knew that I wanted more than one but the decision was taken out of my hands anyway as I accidently fell pregnant with number 2 when my first DD was 8 months old!

DD 3 was the only one that we planned and there is a 5 year gap between her and DD2 and its lovely. Like experiencing everything all over again as I have forgotten aspects from the first time around..lol..probably as a result of being so busy with two young ones!

Batters, me and my brother were very very close as children, but as adults we rarely see each other & TBH that's fine by me. He makes no secret of the fact that he can't bear our children, suits himself all the time & couldn't give a stuff about anyone else. Mum is there as a convenient bank when he's a bit short & just an inconvenience to him the rest of the time. He has turned into a real snob (for no good reason).

DH has 2 brothers- one who lives locally & another 20 miles away. We saw them last month for the first time in 7 years!! (& none of them knew what to say to each other).

Having siblings doesn't guarantee any sort of relationship as adults.