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is mumsnet sexist?

122 replies

Tortington · 11/10/2003 16:19

just wondering?

OP posts:
BearintheBigBlueHous · 14/10/2003 11:12

Sorry to disappoint Codswallop, Soupdragon, Twinkie etc, but all man, down to the hair on my shoulders and the Guinness-induced duvet-lifting wind. I watch and yell at rugby and football, introduced dd to cricket this summer (to the point that she hollers "good shot sir" and sweeps her hand back and forth at every four); I laugh uproariously at the puerile attempt at humour I have translated into T shirt design on my e-shop (which I never mentioned before on MN as I thought, possibly rightly and I will now be cast into the wilderness, that it might offend some MNetters, focusing as it does on the word "Boobies" - some special offers on there this week only - and some new (not rude) baby wear); I find it impossible to remember agreeing to DW's suggestions/to take certain steps in order to resolve an argument with her/not to buy the foods she has told me she doesn't like etc etc; and I scratch myself at inappropriate times and in inappropriate places. Oh and I've fathered two fruits of loins without even knowing what a turkey baster is. So despite what some of my mates down the pub say to my current role of primary care giver/cook/laundry operative/provisions logistics manager, I reckon I'm still pretty much a bloke.

All that said, I'd still have been lost without MN this past 18 months that I've been flying solo with dd, and now the boy has arrived I'll need this place even more for tips, advice and support. And the Mears threads have been invaluable to DW in the last weeks of pregnancy.

Be as sexist as you like ladies, I've paid my subs and I'm bu**ered if I'm not going to make the most of your combined knowledge and experience.

Bear

M2T · 14/10/2003 11:18

ROFL BITBBH!! Congrats by the way!

Blu · 14/10/2003 11:19

Bear...I LOVE your attitude!

Tom · 14/10/2003 11:42

Lethal, Blu, I'll say it again! I have said this before! You needn't repeat it!

My objection with the topic was a combination of my own experience with my partner (who was being inconsiderate) and annoyance with sweeping generalisations about men. Sure, there was a bit of projection there, but there was also a legitimate complaint about the way men are talked about here. As others have pointed out, if it had been 'blacks' or 'disabled' or even 'women' instead of 'men', most people would have had no problem with my objection.

Lethal - if you want a women's only forum on the net, you'll have to set one up which will be invite only. This is the web - it's open to all - always has been, always will be. Especially when the owners of the website want it that way!

robinw · 14/10/2003 12:06

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robinw · 14/10/2003 12:08

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Mum2boy · 14/10/2003 12:23

Well said robinw

And good on you Bearinthebigbluehous.

ks · 14/10/2003 12:25

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lilibet · 14/10/2003 12:42

if we had a standing up and cheering icon I would use it for bear!
really well said!!

motherinferior · 14/10/2003 13:34

Tom, perhaps it's worth looking at the 'men and washing machines' thread which I posted some time back - yes, it was a generalisation based on a single infuriating example, but it was also a thread about domestic work generally - with which childcare/parenting are almost always interlinked. I don't feel embarrassed about posting that one, at all.

And anyone who reads it will see that Bear revealed his maleness, so to speak, on it.

I want to know about the boobies T-shirts!

motherinferior · 14/10/2003 13:34

Tom, perhaps it's worth looking at the 'men and washing machines' thread which I posted some time back - yes, it was a generalisation based on a single infuriating example, but it was also a thread about domestic work generally - with which childcare/parenting are almost always interlinked. I don't feel embarrassed about posting that one, at all.

And anyone who reads it will see that Bear revealed his maleness, so to speak, on it.

I want to know about the boobies T-shirts!

motherinferior · 14/10/2003 13:40

Bear, will you be posting on the 'October babies' thread? Just interested.

Blu · 14/10/2003 14:53

Hey, Tom, if I start a thread called "Why do men always want the last word?" would you change it to "Why does Tom want the last word?"
JOKE JOKE JOKE....not being nasy, honest! (waves white flag)

Tortington · 14/10/2003 15:36

whats the word for manhater...... like masogynist is for womanhater? can anyone tell me i think i would find it rather useful.

i do think mumsnet in general comes down harder on the men posters. i dont think its got anything to do with having a gripe about your husband or partner - as thats what it is.

i do see a gang ( gaggle? did we decide on a collective noun?) of female netters seem to hone in like phirana and eat away - fairly recent development from my point of view.

OP posts:
dinosaur · 14/10/2003 16:04

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

dinosaur · 14/10/2003 21:41

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Dixie · 15/10/2003 01:30

I don't know the history behind the upset thats been caused by certain threads & posters as I've not been on for a long while (months!!) as had rather hetic time of late. However I take on board everyones feelings & truly hope I don't offend or open a can of worms but heres my immeidate thoughts that spring to mind.

I like Mumsnet very much & have had untold support at a very difficult time and it ws from fellow mumsnetters both female & male & was greatly recieved!
In the past there have been general threads where tom & simon Howard have given a male perspective to certain issues which I found totally interesting & extremely helpful.

But can I point out there have also been threads where some of us have moaned about awful attitudes, incompetence & bad behaviour of female people: friends, family, work collegues, horrible other mothers at toddler groups & schools as well & we have 'jumped' on those with remarks as well....so it does happen...but maybe not as much as what it is being suggested about men?

just my thoughts & hope i don't offend truly....

motherinferior · 15/10/2003 09:12

Also, not everyone's partner is male. A point worth remembering.

BearintheBigBlueHous · 15/10/2003 11:07

Motherinferior - there's a post about baby Bear's birth on the Birth Announcements topic. Little tyke turns out to be nocturnal - we didn't order one of those.

Forgot to say that Mumsnet hasn't been all plain sailing/hearts and flowers/cakes and ale for me - for example, I've discovered that I've now run out of excuses for not buying DW that eternity ring now the son and heir (that's what the thread said - not my un-PC take on it) is here; I've spent a fortune importing a buggy from the Antipodes; and I've guiltily dipped into the "How great is your DH" thread to remind myself of my many shortcomings as an H which was more than a little painful (but am resolved to improve). So, for every silver lining, there's a cloud.

Anyone likely to be offended by the Boobies thing, please don't read further, if not, as requested, here's my site . Remember writing words on calculators in boring maths lessons - well the shirts work on that principle - only the wearer gets the joke (and if you're as immature as me, it's a joke that keeps on giving). The baby- and under-wear have their own special logos. The stuff is sent from the States once you order and arrives withing a week or so usually. The prices are in US$ so it may look pricy but it's not really. The shirt that I got DW is good quality and the babywear and undies are too, according to friends who have ordered. Hope you like it, if not, please don't castigate me too much, it's my only source of income as a SAHD whose rock'n'roll career never really got off the ground. If I do get a deluge of huge orders, I promise to speak to Carrie et al about proper advertising.

motherinferior · 15/10/2003 11:26

Bear, saw the posting (and indeed posted 'welcome welcome' special Bear reference!). I was just interested to know whether you'd be keeping up with the other parents on the October thread, as so much about early motherhood is about physical stuff.

Nights will get better. Probably

BearintheBigBlueHous · 15/10/2003 14:27

Thanks Motherinferior - sleep deprivation stopped me from linking the two. We are genuinely overwhelmed by the messages on the Announcement thread. Yup have had an eye on the Sept/Oct babies thread and am keeping DW posted. And thanks for the positivity - so long as we can alter DD's timetable, then we can all sleep all day and party all night like the new boy

doormat · 15/10/2003 14:41

it is on the motor mechanic thread

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