is mumsnet sexist?

[Tortington]

just wondering?

Yes

hey, bear - you know I always thought you were female I wonder why? I HAD worked out that your partner was female.......and there I was just about to post about how riculous it was to think there were lots of men posting anonymously (not that I'm implying that you were hiding anything, I'm just reflecting on my own assumptions/prejudices!)

Anyway NOW I understand your enthusiasm for the 'gold star gadget' (sorry, dreadful sexist comment - I am female, btw!)

There is a bluebear too, elliott - I think that one's a mum - I have confused them in the past. This Bear has definitely said man things!

Congrats on the new babe, btw, BITBBH!

Oakmaiden - my CDs are split into pop/classical, and then pop are sorted alphabetically by artist, classical are sorted into different record labels, which are arranged alphabetically, and within the label they are also arranged alphabetically. So why can I never find anything I want to listen to???

No, I'm not confused - either I've missed the 'man' things or I am so clueless I can't tell what they are
I am, after all, a closet CD sorter....

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I think some contributors to mumsnet are occasionally sexist, some are occasionally racist, some are occaisionally bigotted about other things. Because the contributors to mumsnet represent a cross-section of parents. Everyone has their own biases, sometimes we don't own-up to them, sometimes we accidently give them away, and sometimes we are just bl**dy tactless (i'm really good at that!).

IMO if you really don't like what someone posts on here the easiest way to deal with it is "don't respond". That makes it much easier than the real world to get involved in a debate or discussion, and sometimes I wade in where I wouldn't if this was an actual room.

Oh, and in general, comments really shouldn't be taken personally. After all, in most cases no-one on here knows you personally.

I think Twinkie's got it - most of the generic anti-men stuff is probably projection of personal frustrations onto male posters.

My objection to the 'why are men inconsiderate' thread was certainly down to this.

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Men have hormones too twinkie

NO WE BLOODY DON'T! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

(joke)

ROFL Tom

Yout testosterone is seeping out

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yeah but Tom, to be fair, you did admit that part of your initial frustration in response to the "Why are men so inconsiderate question..." was a projection of YOUR personal frustration at the time....see how understandable it is?

My general belief is that although in the wider scheme of access to all kinds of power and resources, women (amongst other groups) are still a minority, so apparant discrimination by women against men is not, in power terms, equivalent of the reverse. I don't think that black people making comments about white society is as bad as anti-black racism, for the same reason. BUT none of us will progress if we adopt an 'if you can't beat them...' attitude when it comes to bad behaviour, and as Ghandi said
"An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind"
Oooh, need a serious face icon!

Twinkie - up to 70% of all men have man boobs at some time - normally during adolescence. Yup, have just written a feature about it. Some get suicidal with shame. So there you are, it's not just women who worry about droopy boobs. We DO have common ground!

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oooooh liked Ghandi's saying Blu! I am releived Tom

Hope you don't mind if I veer away from the manboobs, but I never thought I had to announce what sex I was - the whole "by parents for parents" strapline drew me into MN for the first time and has kept me here. I suppose I might have thought I'd get a different response (if any) to posts had I been adding the "by the way I'm a bloke" caveat to everything, but I never deliberately concealed anything. Men-focused sites/boards don't offer anything like the support/advice that this one does (sorry Tom), so I'm staying here if that's OK. I just steer clear of the relationship posts and anything that I wouldn't feel comfortable joining in if it was a conversation with mums at a toddlers group, don't want to feel like a voyeur I guess.

Of course I love gadgets Elliott, and in order to get sign off by the financial controller here, I need to give her proof that the things I'm ordering for dd (and now ds) are the mutt's nuts, which is where threads and reviews on the MN site have been invaluable. The E3 will get double testing sometime in the next 24 to 48 hours, review to follow.

Our CDs would be stored according to type of music but probably not alphabeticised, were they not all in a big box in the spare bedrooom.

Thanks for the congrats btw.

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Bear you were always a woman to me!

Actually, I've heard research that shows men get surges of Oestrogen during late pregnancy - I'll get the reference is anyone is skeptical. Apparently, the extent of the hormonal changes depends on their closeness to their partner.

Blu - I have said this already - you needn't repeat it! As far as I know, women in the UK are the majority, not the minority, but as I've said many times before, sexism is about power relationships, and while you can't generalise (Thatcher vs unemployed miner, anyone?), mostly, women are relatively powerless compared to men.

BITBBH is a man?? LOL! I'd never spotted that! I never even spotted it in the birth announcement for baby bear.

It certainly makes no odds to me but I'm embarrassed that my mental image of you was so way off. Hehehehe

"yeah but Tom, to be fair, you did admit that part of your initial frustration in response to the "Why are men so inconsiderate question..." was a projection of YOUR personal frustration at the time....see how understandable it is?

Well said Blu, I was thinking the exact same thing myself. If the tables were turned, I can bet you a million dollars that an awful lot of men out there - if they were honest - would refer to women as "naggers", since that seems to be one of the main gripes they have about us Just as men sometimes tend to be regarded as "selfish" by many women. Whether it's wrong or right, it's very easy to form stereotypes of each other because so often the inherent differences between men & women are a source of great frustration, and I believe that men can be as guilty as women when it comes to generalising. It may not be fair but it happens, due to the vast differences between the way we think & feel.

I agree with aloha saying that men and women are fundamentally different and are not even likely to discuss things the same way, much less view things the same way a lot of the time. Makes for a very different kind of discussion board than if it were just a group of women... which can be a positive thing, but I still don't see why men and women can't have their own forums, if that's what they want. After all we seem to share just about everything else these days, it's nice to still have a place to go if you want to chat about 'women's' things or let off a little steam.