Invite to wedding when heavily pregnant

[Rhubarb]

Dh and I have just been invited to his cousin's wedding which will be at the Barbican Centre in London in late October, by which time I shall be nearly 8 months pregnant. We would quite like to go as we've always promised dd that we would show her London Bridge, Big Ben and the Tower of London. But can anyone prepare me for how posh this Barbican Centre is likely to be? Is there anywhere cheap we can stay in the vicinity? And any tips on how to get through a wedding whilst heavily pregnant (no doubt watching dh get roaringly drunk and feeling quite a bit left out too!) would be more than welcome. Plus it might be nice to meet a few fellow Mumsnetters for a quick drink if there is anyone around! (Scummy?)

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I stayed at a Holiday Inn* at Old Street. I don't think it's too far away, but parking was non existent. And the other really bizarre thing was that the lifts gave me nose bleeds cos I was pg.

Do you drive? Wouldn't you be better driving to the edge of London afterwards to somewhere both cheap and nice? Otherwise dh should stay sober - any man with a heavily pg wife should (not that mine did, not even on my due date).

• I think it was a holiday inn, but as I say, I was pg at the time, so it could have been called anything, I'm unlikely to remember!

Hi Rhubarb, I think there is also a Holiday Inn at Tower Bridge - do a Google search on Holiday Inn Express, Novotel and Travel Inn - I think there are a few dotted around the City area.

I work dead opposite the Barbican and wouldn't call it posh, I spend most sunny lunchtimes having a latte by the lake! Never knew they held weddings there as well as Receptions (just checked out their website to find out more - the Conservatory is very nice).

I wouldn't try and do too much sightseeing though, Rhuby, the wedding itself will probably take it out of you - but you could hop on an open top (if it's not raining) sightseeing bus to save your legs.

Hi, Rhubarb - not sure how cheap is cheap, but Thistle Hotels have one in Barbican and usually have special offers - the current one includes the Barbican at £38.50 pp per night. (They have King's Cross at £32.50). I don't think they have family rooms though but you could ask about DD.

Holiday Inn do and they have an Autumn Break offer from £29pp, hard to tell from their website which hotels are included. Also Hilton hotels.

London is tiring though, when you're not used to it, even when you're not pregnant!

Rhubarb, I think if they are getting married in the Barbican Centre, it's going to be the roof-top conservatory which is pretty but basically a large greenhouse...the rest of it is a rather impersonal arts centre. It's a public building and not excessively posh.
Another hotel idea - the quite modestly priced Travelodge at County Hall, next to the London Eye. You could show dd some of the sights by riverbus...alighting at London Bridge for the short bus ride up to Moorgate for the Centre.

Rhubarb, I think if they are getting married in the Barbican Centre, it's going to be the roof-top conservatory which is pretty but basically a large greenhouse...the rest of it is a rather impersonal arts centre. It's a public building and not excessively posh.
Another hotel idea - the quite modestly priced Travelodge at County Hall, next to the London Eye. You could show dd some of the sights by riverbus...alighting at London Bridge for the short bus ride up to Moorgate for the Centre.

Rhubarb, I think if they are getting married in the Barbican Centre, it's going to be the roof-top conservatory which is pretty but basically a large greenhouse...the rest of it is a rather impersonal arts centre. It's a public building and not excessively posh.
Another hotel idea - the quite modestly priced Travelodge at County Hall, next to the London Eye. You could show dd some of the sights by riverbus...alighting at London Bridge for the short bus ride up to Moorgate for the Centre.

At most weddings there can be a lot of standing around and dancing - when pregnant this can be a nightmare on your feet - tendency to swell up more than usual. From recent experience I was very glad I went for comfort over glamour and had flattish comfy shoes or I might have not lasted the service let alone the evening. Otherwise wear a smart pair for the main do and photos and have an old comfy pair for later on.
Take plenty of distraction toys for your dd if she is fairly young - my mum gave our dd a little notepad and a pack of crayons - what a godsend! Obvious but very useful (esp. during speeches) as much of a wedding is so boring for kids.
HTH

I managed to be eight month's pg and a bridesmaid! Apart from looking like an extra in Fantasia (remember the dancing elephants in tutus?) the worst aspect was how uncomfortable my feet got. But as a guest you'll be able to sit down lots more than I could - all those photos and a formal receiving line in horrible dye-to-match court shoes!! - and everybody did look after me. And I did get p**ed off with dh for ignoring me and drinking himself silly with the other ushers but had a good time with the other guests nd even managed a boogie once I'd changed into my flip flops for the evening. Go, and have fun! BTW, will you have in-laws or someone to help with your dd cos that will really take some of the pressure away from you.

I went to a wedding at 8 mths pregnant and it was tiring but I did enjoy myself. The best man and his girlfriend took pity on me after the reception and let me lie down in their room for a couple of hours before the dancing began ... but you might not have that option at the Barbican.
I remember that Travel Inns and Travel Lodges are very good prices ... and have stayed at the one next to the London Eye ... it was comfy!

I went to my cousins wedding when 8 months pg with the twins. Had a good time, as it was nice to be looked after so well- brought lots of drinks, food etc. and able to put my feet up and enjoy some good conversation ( although I second what stripymouse says about comfy shoes ). I broke the rules and wore a black dress, simply because I didn't feel quite so huge in it. Hope you have a great time ( and just console yourself whilst watching the others get drunk with thoughts of how s**t they'll feel in the morning).

I went to a wedding last year when 8.5 months preg and had a whale of a time! Everyone spoiled me rotten and I also got to drive afterwards which was great, saved a fortune on the hotel.

I went to weddings when pregnant with both mine, the first was just a few days before he was due, the second, about a fortnight. I managed OK, just sat down for most of it, but found it very relaxing to just people-watch. I did get a few disapproving glances though, and the mother-of-the-bride at the first wedding was openly displeased. I think she thought I was going to disrupt everything by breaking water all over the place.

I went to a wedding on Bank Hol Monday 3 yrs ago. It was 31 degres, hotest day of year and I was a week overdue!!!!!! It was great!!!!!! Everyone fanning me down!! I even had a glass of champagne and felt absolutley sozzled cos I'd had nothing for 8 months!!!!!! Enjoy, the day!!!!

Droile - did you really get funny looks? How rude of them! I think dh is going to ask his friends who live in Hackney if we can stay with them, but if they say no then perhaps there are some good youth hostels around?
Yes the in-laws will be going so I will get plenty of help with dd. Unfortunately nothing will stop dh from drinking, and I have a feeling he will get very drunk, but at least I can share my outrage at this with his mother. I might even have a word with her to see if she can have a word with him, if you know what I mean!

Thanks for all the tips though. I'll wear something comfy and take it easy. An open-top bus sounds ideal for that bit of sight-seeing. TBH it's given me something to look forward to, I'm finding it quite difficult getting through these last few months, so this gives me something to focus on. Hopefully dh will behave himself and give me a bit of a break!

Hi Rhubarb - I was 8 months pregnant too when I went to my friends wedding last august, I had a good time and did get to have a dance but did feel a bit silly with my bib bump as it was my first pregnancy I was a bit worried that the music was too loud so I did keep creeping upstairs in the hotel to have a bit of quiet time. Godsend was I wore kitten heals which looked gorgeous made me feel less frumpy but was easy on the feet. PS: My boyfriend got totally drunk too but then when I told him I had got aches in my bump at 11.00pm he made excuses to everyone and said lets get you home cinderella incase the baby arrives tonight! I knew it was just because I had a big bump and it did ache at the end of the day when you have been on your feet alot but i was not telling him that!

Yep, I think I'm going to have to lay down the law about drinking. He got his own way on the last break we had, mainly at my expense! This time I think it's about time he was a little bit less selfish. I know that if I let him get away with it I will be plonked down next to his mother with dd to look after and my orange juice, whilst he natters to his cousins (who are quite frankly intimidating), smokes a few fags/cigars and gets roaringly drunk. Definitely a few well-timed twinges could come in useful!

The riverbus is cool and lets you see lots and lots of sights while sitting down - you actually go under London Bridge which is fascinating. Agree the Barbican Centre itself is a big concrete public arts centre (theatre, gallery etc) and not posh. I missed my friends wedding when 35 weeks pg as was in hospital but would have gone like a shot. Two other very pregnant friends went. They had a great time. There are always chairs at weddings - and food! Talk to your dh beforehand about not getting too pissed in case (!) and how long you want to stay (esp with your dd). Have a good time.

I went to a friend's 40th birthday party in the Conservatory in the Barbican last month. It does resemble a greenhouse, although the sitting-down area is quite small (60 people max?), so I don't know if the wedding you've been invited to is in the same place. He was also not allowed to have dancing, although had live music. If you don't feel up to it on the day, I'm sure everyone would understand. I hope you manage to go and have a great time (and DH doesn't get plastered!).

Azure - live music but no dancing allowed? I wouldn't be able to resist dancing. I've never heard of this before. Did he explain why?

Hmmm, the wedding is in the Conservatory but from what I can gather, it will be a very big do and the invite says a meal and dancing afterwards (although I never cared for dancing in the first place!).

How much is the Riverbus Aloha and where do we catch it?

Sheesh! Just looked up Youth Hostels and even the cheapest is £50 a room! To think that we stayed in a castle in Scotland for £14 pp including breakfast! Just hope dh's friends let us stay with them, but he doesn't want to ask as he thinks that is cheeky, so he's going to phone to tell them we'll be in London and he's hoping they'll offer!
Maybe we're just being stingy Northerners!

For river trips google Thames river trips or go to www.westminsterpier.co.uk for trips from Greenwich to Westminster or www.wpsa.co.uk for trips from westminster to kew & Hamptom Court. It costs under £20 for a family. All boats go from Westminster Pier - right by the Houses of Parliament and you don't need to book in advance.

My friend's do was in the conservatory alone, but there is a large function room next door - my guess is that the function room is used for big events (including dancing), with the conservatory being used for drinks only. My friend was told that the loud music / dancing ban was because it is a residential area - maybe the glass roof in the conservatory has insufficient sound protection. Or maybe it was just his excuse for not having dancing - hmmm, I must speak to him about that!