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[AmandaCooper]

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Up.and down things seems to improve and then sumthing trivial will happen and its all in the air. Im also reallt havibg issues trusting him a few wks ago i recieved a txt that was way to nice for me to blieve it was for me it was completly out of character but i confronted him and he swears it was ment for me and he was trying to b nice but my instincts tell me sumthings going on. Im analysing everything cant tell whether sumthing is going on or whether im being paranoid cos things hav bin so bad

Oh hon that sounds awful. As you say you could easily just be being paranoid particularly with all the pg hormones and the extra stress from being in the last few weeks.

Jbells sorry things are still shitty, have you tried posting in Relationships to see if anyone's got any good advice? It must be really hard to feel like you either can't trust him or you can't trust your instincts. Like AC says maybe it could all be stress. But I'm sad that you don't sound as supported as you would like, whatever is going on.

AC if your temps are low still then prob it is more likely to be an anovulatory cycle or late ov than pg? Gruffalos need setting on your DH again I see. Would testing set your mind at rest?

Oh no Jbells, that sounds awful. Fingers crossed it's just those pesky hormones. And also FX that LO stays put a bit longer. Could be braxton hicks?!

AC - Does sound like stress could be a factor here. If I am mega stressed or ill it messes up my cycles. I agree with Jbells, get a cheapy test just to put your mind at rest!

I've had a reasonably crap Easter tbh. DH came down with man flu on Thursday evening & has been miserable as sin ALL weekend! Yet again he hasn't cut the grass (poor DD, it's up to her hips in places [seething emoticon]) and he hasn't really left the sofa since Friday! I made sure DD picked him some Easter pressies & made him some Easter chocolates. His response...'Didn't realise we were doing presents this year!' (We usually do, and hadn't said otherwise) SO he gets his mum to go to a garage to get me a crappy egg & then inflicts her upon me all afternoon yesterday with no warning! Oh, and expects me to find lunch for her. (Cobbled together a sandwich.) Was really hoping that we would have a really relaxing time and get to chat. Then to top it off AF arrives this morning & DH has been up an hour...doing work! Sometimes I really don't think he would notice if I wasn't here, until of course he ran out of clean pants and socks & food! :(

Sorry for ranting, especially when you are going through so much Jbells. Just needed to get it off my chest!

DH was impressed with choccies btw, but made me feel so crap about making them as he felt guilty. Although DAMN RIGHT he should feel guilty. He works about 100yrds from a Thorntons FFS!

Oh Bebe, GRRRRR upon your DH! (You can make me chocolates if you like and I will be super grateful!)

Mine joins the rubbish OH club this weekend because he is, again, away, working. Looking at our diaries between now and august I reckon he'll have been away nearly half the weekends in 2011. (though to be fair he is v nice when he is here).

Dont b daft bebe rant away i know im not the only one with problems. Least if nothing else i will have to beautiful kids from this relationship

ill tell u wot the message was like

he was going to the gym and sent me text
im on train x

now this was normal im lucky to get one kiss on the end of a txt and its been that way for a very long time

then 20 mins later i get a txt

walking upstairs now :)) xXxXxXxXxXxXx

then he rings me straight after he sent it to say im walking upstairs to the gym now ill txt u when im on my way out. It was as if he thought oh shit i best bk up that txt

i confronted him sed that i didnt think it was fir me he neva sends me txts like that bla bla. He sed he understands that it mite hav seemed odd but he was showing that he was happy to be going the gym and that he appreciated me not having an issue with him going on a sunday evening. Now its not as if i ever stop him.

So as u can c theres no exactly condeming evidence just a gut feeling and the fact that things just dont add up to the way he has bin with me lately. Then over the nxt few days he was constantly putting loadsa kisses on the end of his txt. He doesnt really ever go out in the evening tho to hav mych time for an affair but is always working so if he was it wud b sumone he worked with

guess time will tell

quod i havnt bothered posting there will just b lots of conflicting advice i think im best hoping for the best and that im wrong but being prepared for the worst

God I wouldn't post on relationships unless you definitely want to be told to leave him immediately. If that's not what you want to hear right now, give it a wide berth. I was told to leave DH because he doesn't do any ironing.

Sorry jbells xposted there. Yes I hate to say it but that does seem a bit strange.

Hi everyone!!

100years that is a fantastic marathon time, but I know the feeling of not meeting your target and feeling awful about it

bebe I just took a look at your flickr stream - great photos :) And the chocs you made for your DH look amazing. He should be grovelling right now, not making you feel bad for daring to give him chocs on Easter Sunday!!

wyorkslass I was keen on the idea of a jogging buggy too, until a runner friend of mine told me that they only really are good on flat surfaces. I'm planning to sneak out for short runs leaving DH with the baby, but the buggy sounds more convenient. The almost-fainting incident sounds a bit scary, hope you're feeling better now.

SWI I am very jealous of you jetting off on holidays!

Quod sorry to hear about you DH's work troubles :(

nannyl sounds like your sickness is getting a lot better now, you must be happy about that :)

AC sounds like the stress has really been messing with your cycle - I think we underestimate the effect it can have!

jbells sorry to hear that things are still up and down, but like the others have said, the pg could be making you feel worse than normal too. I am surprised by the effect that pregnancy has had on me, definitely wouldn't like to be faced with major stress right now!

Things here are going well - DH and I both have this week off so making the most of all the bank holidays! We have nothing much to do, so are just lazing around at home, doing DIY and spring cleaning. At some point I'm going to sit down and make a list of all the baby things I need to get, before going shopping for it all!

Hope you all had a good Easter!

Afternoon all

Just checking in from Delhi as DH is in bed asleep. He was really sick in the night and this morning so I had to bully him into chilling out in the room and resting. Think it has worked though as he seems a bit better and looks less like he''s on his death bed!!

jbells sorry to hear that things are tough right now. I can't believe that your LO is almost here. Time flies!!

bebe that's really crappy for you that DH being sick and ungrateful ruined your Easter weekend. Send in the Gruffalo!

AC I haven't done any charting so am probably even more confused than you by your chart. I hope that whatever the outcome, it is what you want. Damn your DH for suspecting you of tricking him. I bet if he had to work it all out and chart he'd soon get bored and decide that TTC was much easier!!!

Over here the news is positive. DH hasn't mentioned the condoms and neither have I! He did ask if we were unsafe and I said that yes, we were. to which he replied "you're on a mission" cue stunned silence from me and then him saying "but it's a good mission!" No sign of OV yet but expecting it tomorrow. Fingers crossed DH is feeling better by then as I'd hate to miss out.

Better go - looks like he's awake and still doesn't know about my NM habit!!

Lots of Easter love to you all!

x

JS sorry if this is a stupid question but you do know you're supposed to SWI in the days leading up to OV, not just on the day itself?

A bit of news this morning - temp is up and if it stays up, I'll get a clear OV line on CD32. All being well that little timing blip might put us in the frame for ttc the month after next, instead of having to wait till July. Not sure what DH would make of that, he's not been my friend these last few days .

Quod sorry I ignored you back there, I don't see the point in testing while I have very low temps, it indicates low progesterone, which is incompatible with pg, so presumably I'd just get a bfn and be non-the-wiser. If I'd had a string of unexpectedly high temps I'd test. If CD32 is the day, it'll be another 12 days before I'm in the clear, so make yourselves comfy!

Oh yeah I didn't make that connection between low temps and low progesterone. I suppose it's reassuring to see a possible pattern/explanation forming even if it means a wait. Sorry your DH is being a wally.

We've been having big negotiations in our house again this morning. Watch this space.

Good luck with the negotiations then, I always tell myself at least we don't have the opposite problem of our partners trying to bully us into motherhood!

Yup - don't worry, we've been getting in lots ;)
Still no sign of OV today which is odd but maybe the flights and the work stress of the last few weeks has delayed it a bit.

Done the Taj Mahal today (beautiful!!!) and DH is now on a work conference call - YAWN! Thought I'd use up his leftover minutes in the business centre whilst he chats about work stuff.

AC how crappy that your DH is not your friend at the moment.Time for the fancy pants and sex pesting?!!? ;)

Quod FX for the negotiations!

Good grief, AC, you really sound like you've been through the mill! Have I missed all that? What happened with your job? Hope you're feeling better. At least the weather is okay - I know it sounds trivial, but I often find things are slightly easier to cope with when it's sunny. (Think I have S.A.D.!) As for your cycle, have you been charting long enough to know whether you OV'd later than usual? Apparently your luteal phase is supposed to stay the same, so if ovulation was later than normal (maybe due to stress) this would account for your longer cycle. (Although this is coming from someone who according to FF has had luteal phases of 7-15 days so far...) Judging by the month you've had I'd say it was highly likely stress has affected your cycle. I'm sure that a string of low temps means pregnancy isn't likely - doesn't your body need to keep the high ones to keep the egg alive..?

Sorry to hear about things not being great jbells. I'd probably think the same thing as you, but then I can be paranoid sometimes. It doesn't necessarily mean something's going on. Maybe things will iron themselves out when the baby is born (not that I have the naive view that having kids solves relationship problems, but sometimes big life events can help us to re-evaluate things!).

Quod Hope the negotiations are going well... do we need the Gruffalo at the ready or will we be cheering Mr Quod?

I was back at work today - to the news that yes, yet another person is pregnant! This brings the total to 3 pregnant and 4 currently on maternity leave - that's actually nearly 10% of our teachers! And I'm not one of them!! Got upset today at that, then again when one of the ones on ML had brought her extremely cute LO in. Found it very hard to be back - am now wondering if I can actually do this or if I should just find another job. I get nervous even thinking about going, and then spent the whole day feeling wobbly, can't concentrate on anything, and am constantly doubting my ability to do the job. I just don't know what to do. It's making me put even more pressure on getting pg, because being PT with a LO is my ideal situation, but obviously it can't happen until I'm pg. I'm just so desperate for it to happen - I'm seeing babies and pg women everywhere, have seen lots belonging to friends and family recently, and it's just not happening for us! :(

From all my research this week I have discovered that a BFP is possible with low temps but urgent progesterone supplements would be needed to sustain the pg. I don't think this is the case here, I'm more or less convinced that I OV yesterday and I fully expect another high temp tomorrow.

SWI I'm so envious of your amazing baby making adventure - what a brilliant combination! Can't believe you are mumsnetting from where you are, you must be a proper addict heh heh! And you've actually started DTD as well, which makes you an official waiting graduate

Are you scared? [mischievous]

MrsS I think the feelings you have about your job are more normal than you think, most people feel insecure at some point in their career, I certainly freak out all the time and doubt myself, particularly in the face of all the drama and mismanagement that's been going on I keep thinking "is it just me? Is this just normal and it's just me who can't cope?"

Your workplace is as bad as mine for updiffedness everywhere you look. It must be so hard for you now that you're ttc, I find it hard and I'm still waiting !

The good thing about lots of others being pg is that there's likely to be someone for you to job share with when your time comes.

That'd be great, AC, but as I'm a secondary teacher there's nobody else that can do my job! None of the others teach the same subject as me, so they'd have to get someone new if I wanted to go PT. A lot of people have been talking rather scathingly about maternity leave seeming to be the best way to get out of things, so goodness knows how they'll all react if I do ever get pg...

I think my feelings about the job are partly because I felt that I've been really good at all my past jobs. I've always done them to the best of my ability and got good results, been promoted, etc. Now I'm in a job where doing it to the best of my ability would involve not having a life in term time, as it'd take about 14hrs a day plus weekends to get everything done (I know because I've tried it!). It's just not possible - for me, anyway - to do those sort of hours and still have the energy to control and engage 30 teenagers for five hours a day; so I end up doing the bare minimum and feeling like I'm never quite good enough. Have been looking for other jobs but nothing's around at the moment.

Sorry, I'm having a self-indulgent waffle...!

SWI your holiday sounds amazing! Hope you have a fabulous time! Although what's your DH doing taking a work call?! [Gruffalo growls quietly] Or is it a work trip?

bebe Well done for your fame! :)

These jobs like ours are just awful though, they are so demanding they could take every last drop from you and you'd still be wanting. It's also very hard when you're under pressure to be in two places at once, so many of my colleagues are single and don't have anyone waiting for them at home.

What subject do you teach, and what did you do before?

MrsS you have my sympathies too, I do the occasional bit of working in schools and I am always absolutely incredulous by the end of a few days that anyone could sustain the energy needed to do it long-term. Not many other jobs where it can be said that there's a proportion in every room of 30 that you're supposed to be in control of who think it would actually be more fun if you failed.

My own work is fairly challenging at the mo, and I must admit I've asked myself how much of my desire to have a child right now is a reaction to wanting to get away from the work situation and affect a major change...I definitely notice I think about it far less when things are going really well. Do any of you think about that?

Oh definitely, the only downside is the 9 month waiting time to get out of there. I fantasise that I will never have to go back - and then I have to give myself a stern talking to and remind myself that we won't live for long on thin air and in reality I'll have to go straight back to work, whereupon my life will be one long relentless slog without a break, much worse than it is now!

With my reational head on I'm devastated that after three years of desperately trying to find another job, I've reached the point where if I want children at a reasonable age I have to give up that dream and resign myself to being stuck in this awful position for the foreseeable future.

And having got to this shitty dead end, it's very frustrating to have to wait for DH to be ready, because it's just more of my career time wasted where I can't reasonably get another job because of impending pg and yet I can't go ahead and get the baby years out of the way to free me up to apply for new jobs again. And what the hell are we waiting for anyway?

Oh heck you've set me off now!

Amanda that is entirely logical. Although being hard headed about it I think women should never on principle hold off starting a new job because of pg or impending pg - I think the work should have to compromise not the woman. Though I understand how that's all very well in principle but very difficult in practice in some fields. I can totally understand your dilemma.

Some movement forward in this house: we have had a big discussion about TTC in the light of last week's not-very-positive work news, and I have asked DP if we can uncouple TTC from his big work thing. At the moment nothing is in our control as we are holding off major life decisions while he waits for the nod from the big guns, as he has remained stalwart that TTC cannot happen until Big Work Thing is out of the way. He understands that this is driving me mental and for the sake of both our sanity is going to try to rethink it and separate the two in his head so we can both feel a bit more in control of our lives. Very revealing question from him: 'but if it's not dependent on (work thing), what is it dependent on?' Me: 'Errrm, when you feel ready to be a father? When we decide we're ready to be parents?'.

Time will tell but bless him he totally sees my side of things and is going to attempt to rearrange his head.

It's all very well in principle isn't it, but in practice, you'd be going from the frying pan into the fire if you sprung a pg on a new employer and then had to adjust to parenthood at the same time as adjusting to the new role, and with no goodwill (and possibly some badwill) accrued between you and the new employer, the new job would end up being just as bad as, if not worse than, the old one.

Realistically there is a five month window for me to change jobs, as the interview process takes the best part of a couple of months, and I suppose I could forego even statutory maternity pay and start ttc the minute I got a job offer - but if we managed to hit the jackpot straight away, by the time I'd actually started in the new role I'd be three months pg.

This is always assuming you can get a new job, I've certainly been trying for a while. And it might be nothing to do with me being a married woman in my thirties who hasn't had children yet? but then again it might be.

I'm basically just on hold.