Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

From what I have read, I think we need to talk to the posters who joined Amber's own thread to discuss this.

I also think that Justabout's imput would be very welcome and useful.

Am off to post on the Amber thread just now. We'll see how we get on. We may need to open a new thread, I'm not sure.

Could one of us (the eloquent reasoned ones such as Catita or Daisy) draft a request to MN to create the special board that Amber needs? Post the draft on here and then we can all cut and paste it and any of us could email it to MN - sort of flood them with it. Maybe that will get some action.

SORRY - I just realized how insultingly what I just said could be taken - I don't mean the the rest of you aren't eloquent!!! It's just that Catita's most recent post struck me as very reasonable and persuasive, and since (I thought I'd figured out that) Daisy is a barrister, and she has such a lovely way with words... but so does MadBad, and Racing, and, nuts, well, all the rest of you - ok, I'll take back what I said - could someone, anyone draft such a thing??

Tea?

Or is it wine o'clock yet?

Reckon I can ... well ... you know .... thingy ....e-mail .... you know, like .... if someone .... elly ... ella ... ellakwent ... rites it for me ...

Have a cuppa JM, I am currently on my 4th (non-caffeine) one. Its being that kind of day.

I think your suggestion is a good one. We need to be very clear on what we are demanding, hence the consult I have made on the other threads.

Then I would be happy to help draft a statement, with imput from all other tearoomers (since we are all eloquent on here!).

We must not let this fade away. Even if Amber feels she doesn't want to rejoin (which I hope is not true) she is not the only ASD person who posts here. As Amber has pointed out to us, the diability act was passed to make sure that people with such issues are not discriminated against or excluded from UK websites. It seems to me that this battle is one Amber has been fighting for a while. I think we owe it to her to keep at it.

I think perhaps we ought to open a thread for this caucus, Justabout...

But where?

PS. I hope your visit to A&E was no way related to your pg. If so, my thoughts are also with you.

It might be better if any debate were taken away from this thread, so it can still be a haven for those who need it.

I think Justa is spot on, the problem is two fold. Firstly, as I see it, the issue os how Amber perceives things to be going on - whether helpful or harmful to her. That is not to suggest that her perception is anything less than entirely valid but it does mean that we can perhaps only guess at what may be helpful to her

Secondly I don't think MNHQ are being obstructive but frankly their role is only to marshall the message board which is by it's very nature a free for all. This is not an envronment when they are able to police in perhaps a way that Amber needs. That is not meant to say that Amber's needs are not valid but other SN boards users and other MN users are a whole have needs whith may just clash

I think the issue is of course a capsule of the whole problem that Amber faces in her communication generally, and ironically one that so many of us have come to understand just a leetle bit better by her posts on this and other boards..

.

Justa, just read your second post, so big sticky thoughts to you and perhaps the point is this dicsussion shouldn't be had in the tea room since by it's very nature it may prevent Amber from coming and hanging out in the priest hole?

Yes to MaryBS and Justabout. Shall I open one, or have you already?

One final comment here: I posted on the two Amber threads in the SN needs section precisely because of the considerations that Daisy and Justabout raised. I really want to do something constructive and helpful. I do not want to do anything that would result negatively for other MNnetters.

Justa Fingers, toes and all other crossable apendages are crossed for you. It's a good sign you still feel sick!

Peace and love, man.

I've emailed Amber, so she is aware. She may not want this, and we should respect her wishes.

Mary - we will definitely take that into consideration. However, there are other people like Amber out there - eloquent mothers, who, from their posting style, you couldn't distinguish from anyone else - until you actually consider what they are saying about how they see things and how things impact upon them. The trouble is, if MN has become somewhere that Amber no longer feels able to access support and friendly advice (not that we ever managed to give her much - hopefully just offered some sympathy and understanding when required and the occasional friendly suggestion) there are other people who also will be excluded because MN does not help with the problem.

Frankly I was completely shocked at the thread that started all the recent stuff off. If something similar had been written about any other disease or disability it would have been shot down in seconds.

Mary I will email you

oh dear, I go off for the weekend and it's all gone weird when I come back!

Amber, if you are lurking (and I hope you are on this thread), I am very sad to see you go and hope you manage to re-set your brain in a short time and come back here where we can offer you complex plans and old mechanics' handbooks etc. and a heavy-duty reinforced priesthole with filters.

Rest assured you have always been great on this thread, and reading what others have said on your goodbbye thread, you have helped many. I understand you might not be able to process that at this moment but when your brain resets, I hope it will help you.

FYI

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/754097-A-request-for-opinions-and-advice-regarding-Amber-39-s

been and posted - good op, catita.

Someone special is missing!

Hmm. It all feels very subdued here tonight. And yet it's wine o'clock.

I propose a toast to absent friends.

To absent friends.

Anyway, back onto the important topic of finding Tea an appropriate not too large breed of dog (with a proper nose), how about these?

AH, yes, let's drink and dance like there is no tomorrow and we are not being watched!

Now, mistle, should you drink what with your dizzy bump, funny head and weekend in the orchestra?

Did you have wonderful weather today? We did, and DaisyBoy refused to set foot outside this afternoon and, Mistle, my "just hop on the hippychick" didn't work. At all.....