Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

It could be... although I thought that you normally wore at least some loose clothing to do that, and he's only got his shorts on. Mind you, he could be warming up for MadBads Tango/Passa lesson...

He kind of reminds me of a grown up Dicken from the Secret Garden

MT - when that time comes, I can post stuff...

Now, what would go well with gingerbread men... ah!! Caramel Bailey's and hot choc, anyone?

Aaaah delicious

To our "newbies", this is The Tea Room of Requirement so whatever you need will magically appear...

What I want or what I need, Jacksmama?

lime for the g&t, perrrfect. Thanx for fan, I hope no one is noticing me trying to flap the wet fabric under my arms...nice.
Mmmm, Mellors, he looks like a good addition to the scenery, is that a small scar i see on his back? i wonder if he has a heroic story as to how he came about it..
Hi Racingsnake, nice to see you, i felt so much happier after our chat earlier, i've braved this tea party!

A very warm welcome to Podrick and CurlyWurlyGirly (that was one of our nicknames for MadBadBaby when she was tiny, so excuse me while I have a soppy nostalgic moment)!

Did someone mention clothes? I have some nice dresses from White Stuff, which are great because they just skim over the [no discernible] waist area and look smart without being formal (if you see what I mean). I also have some nice Boden skirts, although am a bit miffed at how easily the beads fall off my beaded one. Are you looking for clothes for work or home, Racing?

Punk gingerbread men sound intriguing! Am trying to make a tea room joke about The Clash and Rock Cake The Casbah. Bah. Can't do it.

Partly because we have an international clientele here, we serve booze at almost any hour of the day. Speaking of which, I've just opened the Bolly for anyone who doesn't want a g&t.

Ah! New guests! I can practise my hostess skills!

Mmmm How very interesting, a cafe with a big brass bed and 24 hour licence...how will I ever be able to leave????

I have been splurging at Noa Noa. I take my punk gingerbread in for the staff. This is a more fun way of shopping than mail order!

ooo Amber how delightful to meet you

Hello there - please feel free to help yourselves to carrots. The galvanised bucket is full of tea - it makes a bit of a mess if it gets kicked over!
And that rope is my tail. Please take care not to stand on it by accident
Or, worse, use it as a bell pull!

My goodness Mellors does a rather fabulous head massage, just what I really needed

goodness Donk what velvety looking ears you have

oh my goodness!

Cucumber sandwich! What a lovely idea. For afternoon tea, I think, on the newly repainted garden furniture, while Mellors supervises cricket rugby on the lawn.

Wriggle has taken to rugby tackling anyone she sees with a ball. Since she is a deprived and lonely only than is often the dog, who is learning to live with it.

My work clothes and my home clothes are generally the same, MadBad. It just shows how my standards have slipped. Since going back after Wriggle, I just don't care. My school is very poor at people management and I spend many hours fuming with impotent rage at something mean and/or tactless some teacher/head has said, so I do not make the effort with my professional appearance/relationships. Which is not at all to say that I don't take a lot of trouble with the kids, who are lovely (in the main).

So, any advance on Joe Brown and White Stuff?

Damn

How will I find my way back to the tearoom?

a glimpse of paradise at the tearoom - how will I ever get back, and how can I stay longer????

The Tea Room being magical, Podrick, you will always find your way back to us. BTW - in the Tea Room, what you want is what you need.

oo cucumber sandwich, lovely. anyone any ideas of what position to take when swimming in children's pool with dd and water depth is too shallow to swim (without grounding out) but standing up and walking is a bit difficult too? i found myself trying to half-crawl along today which i can assure you was not the most flattering solution. or is it just me..

Did someone say John Martyn?

Curly, I have noticed mums sort of Russian dancing their way across - crouched down in the water, and sort of walking, or sitting and pushing themselves along with their hands. I quite like that, because I can feel sporty (because in water) but all the lumps and bumps are under water and, I fondly imagine, invisible.

Podrig - presumably, you will find yourself back here when you need to be. Or when you need another G&T.

My apologies, I should of course have offered canapes this time of night.

(You just can't get the Aspies these days.)

Mellors, if you would just wear this Butler's outfit for the moment, there's a good chap...and hand these round whilst I consider whether there's a solution to the swimming problem of CurlyWurlyGirly (great name )

So sorry about Mellors appearing in the altogether. We thought he'd given up the naturist phase!

What did I say about my "all is revealed" comment earlier???? Good god, Mellors, cover that up!!!

Hmmm. In that situation, CurlyWurlyGirly, I try to stride about womanfully, as I gather that it is good for firming the vast wobbling thighs.

Bolly, anyone?

Swimming pool - Ds has never had arm bands or anything - so I've had to hold him up - I've found a backwards breaststroke the best option - its much better now that he has a 'noodle' float which means that I can simply swim alongside him

Podrick - you will find that, if you become a regular, its a bit addictive, so you will have no problem finding your way back