Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

Wow - it is really happening here tonight...

I think we should have a retro sweeties night in honour of Curlywurlygirly!!!!

And incase you don't understand English szeeties JM... I suggest you try the finger of fudge first because it is made of chocolate sugar etc but infact through the magic of the 70s and 80s was infact magiaclly full of goodness... see here if you don't believe me!!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9W4rhhEq_U

Oh my, I'll have the song to A Finger Of Fudge playing in my brain all evening now

Oh, this glass seems to be empty and I've eaten all my canapes! Mellors?!

And wagon wheels were the 'proper' size too!

Oh dear - my typing has given away the big glass of wine I was served by my Moldavian neighbour at our come and share dinner tonight!!!!

Let's make that 'sweeties' and 'magically' shall we????

But what is a typo or two between friends?

My mum drones on waxes lyrical about the days when Mars Bars were big enough to share!

Here, Amber, have some more Bolly. Let's nibble on these Twiglets while Mellors gets busy in the kitchen, making more canapes. Watch out, I spy Naked Mohawk Babies and RacingPig approaching, looking for a tasty savoury snack !

Well they're not having mine!

Oh no. A new anxiety. Over several months, RacingPig gradually removed all the stuffing from one end of our charmingly-distressed chintz sofa. How do we guinea-pig-proof the mattress of the big brass bed? The tea room's prime snoozing facility will lose its charm if it loses its stuffing!

Oh yes - I remember it was part of madbad's dance routine last night!!!!

Is it time for top ups yet - more Bolly or one of JMs delicious cocktails!!!!???!!!

Perspex works quite well on the chinchillas so I imagine that it would also work on RP - probably slightly better as I shouldn't thing that he would want to jump as much....

how about an anti guinea pig talisman tied to teh rails of teh big brass bed. Like that anti elephant on in teh window. It must work, I havn't seen an elephant in here for ages.

Hi Podraig and Curly, waves from Unis. Please don;t mind my typos, you get used to them I'm told.
I'm stuffed if any one runs a typo indentifier type thing on here, my identity would be revealed instantly.

Unis decision of teh evening- do I go for teh award winning shingle beach with award winning loos and cafe but £6 car park charge OR the pay & display for £4.20 on another shingle beach with bog standard loos & a few local cafes. For tomorrows day out with boy, DH joining us by bike for lunch.

What a lovely dilemma. Personally, I'd pay the extra £1.80 for award-winning loos. I have too many memories (some recent ) of gruesome public toilets with a small child in tow.

Ha ha ha - toilet talk calls for a "Milk moment"

So today at the shared dinner our friends little boy is taken by his Mummy to the toilet.

"Where is my friend?" Milk enquired

"He has gone to the toilet..." I explained.

So she walked over to the closed door and called...

"Freind... oh... friend.... have a lovely wee...!"

now now, the bed doesn't need guineapig proofing as it is a bedstead and gps are notoriously incapable of climbing as their bums are too big and their legs are too short they aren't built very athletically.

MT - it was only a matter of time before I got DH and DS mixed up on a thread - of course it was DS who was crying, not DH - if it had been DH I would have thrown cold water over him . Both sleeping like logs tonight, thank goodness.

hello new people, podrick and curlywurlygirly! Enjoy the bolly/G&T/cocktail bar as and when.

Cocktails starting tomorrow ladies!

UniS - unlike MadBad, I'd go for the cheaper option on the grounds that a café is still a café and you would be expecting goldplated taps in the loos for the extra; plus everyone else will go to the better award-winning facility, so it will be more crowded. Maybe.

Got DHs input on the question, he would prefer the Pay n display, more choice of eating places and closer By a few miles to his planned bike ride route. Fair enough. He is going to do 100 ish miles, getting up early and every thing, while boy and I get to have a lie in and then hop in teh car for an hour or so drive.
Umm, boy appars to be talking in his sleep,
can;t quite make out WHAT he is saying tho...

Today was my turn for a bike ride, 15 miles or so each way to cricket, was nice,good veiws, pretty countryside etc. I'm not very fit tho and it took a bit longer than I hoped.

CAn I pass any one a twiglet and a night cap. Gloopy hot choc is on the stove, pass your mugs this way for a dollop. sprinkles and marshmallows are on the table.

gloopy hot choc for me please! With a shot of Baileys for good measure, ta muchly.

hot choc coming over. NOT by NMB service this time. I dread to think what kind of a mess they could make with it. I'm off to bed now. NOT in teh brass bed, I've no wish to be landed on my NMBs at 3am or bumped from below by persons exiting teh preist hole. I'm off to my own bed, on my own as DH is STILL watching Match of teh DAy.

thanks for swimming pool advice, i had tried unceremoniously crouching/walking as well but too much of me was out of the water.
my two front teeth came out in a curly wurly (they were wobbly beforehand, i didn't just have rotten teeth!) and i think they were much bigger then. Also Puffs crisps were a tuck shop fave and of course the very un-pc candy cigarettes. aah, those were the days, i'm getting sentimental after too much gin, maybe i'd better have a milky drink too. ta, in a lovely chunky mug, furry slippers, i'm happy, .

CurlyWurlyGirly - I've also seen women in that situation wearing a sarong in the pool. I wouldn't do it myself - all that wet fabric would literally be a drag - and would prefer to just brazen it out, but could that be an option?

at memory of candy cigarettes. I have fond memories, though, of flying saucers.

I'm heading for bed now with a mug of Ovaltine.

Quick question: how much, in British pounds, would it take to get you through one week? Two weeks? I don't mean splash out on luxuries, I mean the nitty gritty - food, bog roll, cleaning supplies - that sort of thing.
(Serious question.)

I hope someone can answer that for you JM - perhaps you had better start a separate thread about it? I think we could manage ok on under £100 a week but we tend to have food as our only luxury - lots of organic stuff etc., so we aren't very representative.

I think I'd rather keep the question an informal survey in our little slice of heaven for now... but if everyone could weigh in, that would be great, thanks!!

'Ere, who's written notes in my Manners book about what to say when someone's weeing?! . That's a point - are there tea room loos? I suppose there must be with the amount we seem to get through of an evening round here

Hmm, Jacksmama, that's an interesting question. Depends which family and how determined they are. One lady managed on £1 a week, mostly by blagging food off people, for example. A family I know that have four older teenage/young adult lads manage on about £110 a week by shopping for every bargain in the local cheaper supermarkets, so I'd guess it would be £80ish a week for a smaller number of people. We tend to get through about £120 a week on food between the three-plus-dog of us, but a lot of that is my food 'things' where I can't swap brands as it's too scary/can't shop in the really cheap places because of the environment etc.

Coffee and croissants now available...

Hello ... I thought I'd wander back in. I got a bit lost after missing too much of the conversation, had a bit of a break. Did I miss anything really crucial? I did catch that the NMBs have been riding snails, that's about it.

Plus, we've been considering a pet, DH has been researching guinea pigs, my last encounter with guinea pigs was examining the blood stains on my friend's hutch walls (GPs have been savaging each other) so I thought I'd hang out with RacingPig for a while to make me feel better towards the creatures.

Shopping question - impossible! We spend quite a lot (usually over £100 in the supermarket, plus the odd pint of milk at the corner shop, AND we eat out at least once a week, so should factor that in) but I'm under no illusion that I couldn't cope on significantly less. This week's shopping was in Waitrose (DD and DH refused to come, so I treated myself), but I 'only' spent £85 because the snackmonsters weren't there to put crap in the trolley, there were no items like washing powder or toiletries needed, and I've always got a lot of non-perishables in the cupboards and stuff in the freezer.

My boss (him and his partner at home) doesn't understand why anyone would need to spend more than £30 a week on groceries.

Hi DCMB! I commented on GPs not climbing ? Can't remember that at all...and I didn't even know that was true! Is it? How much Bolly did I drink?!

Sorry!

I saw Mellors coming out of the tearom rather rapidly in a state of undress - does anyone know why?

GP not climbing - must be an advantage over the chincillas. They climb (truffle can make it up about 4' on narrow wire mesh - and if there is a narrow gap they are up it like a proverbial rat and drainpipe) and they jump (up to about 4')

DCMB - nice to see you back. Been doing anything interesting in RL? And have you seen Justa's news?