The SIXTH Tea Room - Everyone Welcome

[Jacksmama]

The One Child Tea Room started as a sort of sanctuary for anyone who was a bit tired of the controversy surrounding having one child only, for whatever reason. The topic seems to attract that sort of thing. So we thought we needed a place where a cup of tea and a muffin and a place to sit down and relax was needed - and judging by the number of visitors and regulars, it really was much needed!

The tea room has since undergone a few, shall we say, metamorphoses... it started as a charming bricks and mortar sort of place, with a lovely English garden, a ha-ha in the distance, and wonderful mismatched crockery.

But since the tea room is truly magical, at night, the glitter ball comes out, and booze and sofas canapees are served. During the daytime, there is a stable with (at last count) two horses, Earl and Lady Grey, who appreciate being exercised. We also have (at last count) two guinea pigs, RacingPig and RacingMissPiggy... but since they seem to have been up to no good, that count may increase shortly.

In its most recent incarnation, the tea room became a yurt, and we had Mellors The Gardener show up in buckskin trousers and no shirt (which caused several of the regulars to either fan themselves with whatever magazines were available, or faint prettily, preferably into Mellors' arms), and there seems to have been an errant bison or two.
Oh, and we also had the Naked Mohawk Babies - they were originally cake decorations (for the life of me, I cannot find the link right now) - and they have since taken on lives of their own, adding much amusement to the tea room.

Decorations include cut-outs of George Clooney, Wesley Snipes, and any other hunks of burning love we can think of. Oh, and peace lilies, and (since nothing seems to be able to kill the damn thing) an aspidistra.

For those who are shy of company, or fleeing controversial threads, we have a Priest Hole to hide relax in.

Please remember that the tea room is magical - no amount of Bolly swilled will cause a hangover, allergies of any type mean nothing, so you can eat and drink whatever you like, and if you don't fancy the distressed-looking couch, a brand-new comfy arm chair will appear in seconds.

EVERYONE is welcome, whether you have one child, none, or ten. In fact, one of our regulars is currently pregnant!!

The only strict rule we enforce is no fisticuffs. Anyone who behaves disagreeably will be ejected by Mellors (fully clad).

Most important of all - the tea room is meant for fun and support. It's perfectly acceptable, and in fact, mandatory, to be a little unhinged yourself.

Welcome all!!

(I've had a somewhat trying day so I will leave the crating and moving of china, and the actual shaping of the tea room, to everyone else... I did hear rumours of a spa being added, however, so please, book me in for a pedicure, will you? Thanks!)

[teafortwo]

• Was rl all a dream???
  
  The NMB had been causing me some trouble. They are sweet enough in their own special way but I had somehow missed where they had come magically come from. Thanks for the wonderful introduction JM.
  
  Time I get to work.... just need to find my facsinator and Mary Janes.... I can't find the box marked 'important one child family Mother's dress code'.
  
  T42 gives up looking and clicks fingers, a shimmer of fairy dust and T42 is completely appropriately dressed. As she leaves the room her fascinator flashes blue and pink as JM and Madbad go "No pink, no blue, no pink, no blue" with their wands!

[teafortwo]

As tea leaves (get it) the tearoom she looks back and notices cups, kettles, milk jugs and teabags dancing around the place making tea for everyone and smiling!

Second day of Spring and I have a feeling it is going to be a GOOOOOOD one.

Happy Saturday laaaayyyyydiiiiiieeeees

x x x x

[Bucharest]

......opens door of tea room and is very upset to hear that Mellors has been servicing half dressed.....

Hello lovely Tearoomers! Been awol since, I think, Tearoom n3 or 4 as have been working! Blimeyheck- t'is hard going back out there IRL......

[DontCallMeBaby]

Hello Bucharest ... RL is much overrated, I think, much better in here, even if Tea seems to have instigated Disney Tearoom. Will there be merchandising, I wonder?

[thumbwitch]

No no no, no merchandising!!

Hi Bucharest! I agree that RL working business is very overrated.

Jacksmama - lol - I thought you had misunderstood me at first re. the apple sauce thing but got the joke - it is rather odd though - apple sauce vs. eggs - really not a huge similarity there now is there?
And thank you on Lordling DS's behalf!

Catita - glad to see the pg-scambled-eggs-for-brains hits us all!

Glad to see the tearoom detritus equipment etc. is settling in nicely, once the fairy dust wears off of course.



banana choc chip cookie, anyone?

[amber32002]

Oh yes please for the cookie and hot choc.

Well, I think I've covered a couple of miles of large-dog-hauling today as she's demanded to go into the garden, back into the house, into one room then the other, bless her. Now off into town for a bit of shopping (eek!)

[thumbwitch]

are you going to buy her a skateboard, amber?

[amber32002]

Now that's not a bad plan...

Seem to have spent Too Much in town, but at least ds now has a suit that doesn't look like he's just played rugby in it, and shoes that appear to be half-way decent.

[Jacksmama]

May I please have some tea with lemon in a Tinkerbelle cup? It's still early here...

[Catitainahatita]

I think more abject apologies are required to various people.

1. To Kickass who I managed to transform into her antonym.

1. To Mistle for forgetting to thank her for the biscuit recipe

1. To Racing for messing up my recipe

I hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me.

In that hope I have brought a bribe present in the form of some freshy baked scones with cream and strawberry jam.

Help yourself!

[UniS]

I found ya.

[teafortwo]

Just popping in to drop off a supply of yummy Kusmi tea... I think it will go with the scones and jam just perfectly.

www.kusmitea.com/html_uk/home.php

Thinking about it...

Everything in the tearoom in general is practically perfect in everyway!

Toodle pip!

[UniS]

WE went to the beach today. Twas glorious sunny. Managed to creep boy into paddling at last- he was a refusnick last sumer after being bowled off his feet by a small wave he hadn't spotted snuck up on him. Today howver we got as far as proper paddling, little waves and all, throwing stones, filling a bucket with water, making foot prints and squidging and burying our toes in wet sand. It was a really nice day. Not even MiL could spoil it.

In laws have gone, I can breathe again and not bite my tongue. WHY does MiL have to keep on alluding to people being fat. OK, Dh and I are both not slim, technically we are both over weight, but a long way from obese. SHE is not Obese,possibly overweight but as she is only 5 ft tall thats not hard, yet she called herself a fat titch, her granddaughters are not Obese- probably not even over weight ( and not yet 10) but she talks about how they will grow up to be "big mamas" !!!!

OHHH it makes me cross.
Still Boy had a lovely time with his grandad. woke up calling for him this morning.

Now then, all that off my chest lets have a look at this tea room. OHHH there appears to be a jug of hot choc hovering at my elbow closely followed by a mug, its pouring itself into. how clever. I see teh nmbs made it over here, they look quite at home up there, the little white toweling turbans suggest they are sampling all the delights of the spa. Are they meant to have feathers sticking out tho??

[mistlethrush]

EVening all! I found you!

Thanks for the intro JM - remarkably succinct!

Catita - just glad that you saw it before it was forgotton on the previous one! I look forward to hearing if you manage to make it and what you think - although with the biscuits in the post and you might not be feeling much like making any!

Hello Kickassangel - and Bucharest! Will you be stopping by a bit more often now we've moved out of the yurt and back to the tearoom - with a spa extension...!!! (Mine's a neck and back massage)

Bolly anyone - to celebrate our sucessful move?

[Jacksmama]

I would love some Bolly, thank you. I'm currently sorting out my paperwork so we can submit our taxes. Nightmare job. Thank God DH has taken Jackbaby to MIL's so I don't have to worry about him scattering all my papers to hell and gone.

BTW Catita, can you not make sugar syrup? I thought a simple syrup is just 2 cups of water and 2 cups of sugar, boil, then simmer until golden. But I could have been wrong.

[Donk]

Aaah! that's better!

Carrots anyone?

Had a wonderful day walking up in the dales. A bit of a rite of passage for DS (6) - we went up Gordale Scar for the first time with him. Also DH's first time.
At least I didn't meet someone with a push chair hoping to come down it this time... (ok that was 20 years ago!)

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Phew. I found you.

Great intro, Jacksmama. I was a teeny-weeny bit worried that it made us all sound, shall we say, a tad unhinged, but it's lured Kickassangel and Bucharest back to the tea room so that's all good.



I was going to offer everyone a twiglet, but I see the bowl is empty.

[Jacksmama]

I'd really like to see pagwatch and bbpants back... I think we lost them after the first tearoom...

[Catitainahatita]

Jacksmama Syrup is that easy to make!?!

Now I do feel like a complete idiot. I am going to do some research into food on the recipes page and try and avoid being so silly in the future.

[Racingsnake]

Hi - made it here! Glad that RacingPig got his priorities sorted out and relieved to hear stamping from the new stables, so obviously horses have arrived. Aspidistra is looking good, JM.

Dropping in at 3am because Wriggle can't BREATHE and I can't sleep with all the wheezing and snorting and the awful sudden silences.

Had rather nice Equinox meal with friends (nettle, mushroom and walnut lasagne with corn salad from the garden and the first chives of spring. Was going to try Thumb's idea of dark and light sorbets, but time ran out). A memorable moment was friends' baby vomiting all over my knees posseting cutely and Wriggle having a coughing fit and depositing said lasagne all over the floor within two minutes of each other.

Have just bought a new car! A Skoda Fabia Estate, following recommendations from MNers and considerable research. Actually DH paid but it will belong to me. We have never done anything as couply as that before, even though we are married.

He is feeling a lot better now, which is great. Still a long way to go before I feel that I recognise him though. Could of course simply be that men jut aren't as nice as women.

Catita, thanks for the recipe. Any particular kind of dried fruit? Really over 1/2 pint of splenda? I must get some American cooking cups for recipes from the internet/ Friends in the West.

Saw a whole field of bison (furry American type) on the way to pay for the car.

[Jacksmama]

Catita, I just Googled "golden syrup recipes" and went from there. I found a few but one of them called for corn syrup and I didn't know if you could get it in Mexico, or if you could make it (and then it kind of struck me as stupid to make corn syrup so you could then make golden syrup...) so I Googled "sugar syrup" and that's what it came up with.

I have no idea if it would taste as good as the bought kind, however .

[kickassangel]

catita i have often been called a kissass, even by myself!! no probs.

[Jacksmama]

at kissass

[kickassangel]

sometimes even in rl

[Jacksmama]

Oh, by the way, congratulations on the new car RS, but and at WS throwing up lasagne...

And 1 cup in American measurements is 250 mL of liquid or 8 fluid ounces... perhaps you could just measure it out and designate a special tea cup for baking?

Good night all!