The SIXTH Tea Room - Everyone Welcome

[Jacksmama]

The One Child Tea Room started as a sort of sanctuary for anyone who was a bit tired of the controversy surrounding having one child only, for whatever reason. The topic seems to attract that sort of thing. So we thought we needed a place where a cup of tea and a muffin and a place to sit down and relax was needed - and judging by the number of visitors and regulars, it really was much needed!

The tea room has since undergone a few, shall we say, metamorphoses... it started as a charming bricks and mortar sort of place, with a lovely English garden, a ha-ha in the distance, and wonderful mismatched crockery.

But since the tea room is truly magical, at night, the glitter ball comes out, and booze and sofas canapees are served. During the daytime, there is a stable with (at last count) two horses, Earl and Lady Grey, who appreciate being exercised. We also have (at last count) two guinea pigs, RacingPig and RacingMissPiggy... but since they seem to have been up to no good, that count may increase shortly.

In its most recent incarnation, the tea room became a yurt, and we had Mellors The Gardener show up in buckskin trousers and no shirt (which caused several of the regulars to either fan themselves with whatever magazines were available, or faint prettily, preferably into Mellors' arms), and there seems to have been an errant bison or two.
Oh, and we also had the Naked Mohawk Babies - they were originally cake decorations (for the life of me, I cannot find the link right now) - and they have since taken on lives of their own, adding much amusement to the tea room.

Decorations include cut-outs of George Clooney, Wesley Snipes, and any other hunks of burning love we can think of. Oh, and peace lilies, and (since nothing seems to be able to kill the damn thing) an aspidistra.

For those who are shy of company, or fleeing controversial threads, we have a Priest Hole to hide relax in.

Please remember that the tea room is magical - no amount of Bolly swilled will cause a hangover, allergies of any type mean nothing, so you can eat and drink whatever you like, and if you don't fancy the distressed-looking couch, a brand-new comfy arm chair will appear in seconds.

EVERYONE is welcome, whether you have one child, none, or ten. In fact, one of our regulars is currently pregnant!!

The only strict rule we enforce is no fisticuffs. Anyone who behaves disagreeably will be ejected by Mellors (fully clad).

Most important of all - the tea room is meant for fun and support. It's perfectly acceptable, and in fact, mandatory, to be a little unhinged yourself.

Welcome all!!

(I've had a somewhat trying day so I will leave the crating and moving of china, and the actual shaping of the tea room, to everyone else... I did hear rumours of a spa being added, however, so please, book me in for a pedicure, will you? Thanks!)

[teafortwo]

daisy99 - It looks a light but interesting read. I have ordered a copy for myself too so we can read it together. However, I think my sister produced a successful outshining of the book with gift vouchers for Phase Eight (Mum's favourite shop)!

Oh well - something about 'thought' and 'that' and 'counts' comes to mind.

and also....

Well Lah di da lah di dah - as Annie Hall would say!

Thumbs up to peops that have had fab Mums day and hugs to those that have not!

[daisy99divine]

ha ha ha
sister do upstage one don't they?

that's why Milk and DaisyBoy are so luck to be onelies

[Jacksmama]

On the subject of sisters... mine is a complete psychopath. Really. Three years ago she essentially divorced herself from our entire family by various random and vicious acts, and she and I haven't had any contact since. I know, it's a shame, bla bla bla, but really, for me, it's the lesser of two evils. Anyway... someone recently mentioned to my mum that they expect she'll come to her senses at some point and seek a reunion. If that happens, I have found the perfect T-shirt (in a catalogue) to wear to the occasion.

It says

"MUM LIKES ME BETTER".

[evil ]

[daisy99divine]

Excellent JM - I think I would like one of those

Not that I think it's true!

[Jacksmama]

you'd like a psychopath sister? or a shirt like that?

and as far as the shirt goes, i can assure you it's true... i told my mum about the shirt and she laughed and laughed...

[mistlethrush]

Yes, please note from my discussion of the day - I suggested that I would like a blueberry plant for MD - then I suggested we go and get it after our walk. If I'd left it to dh we'd not have got anything!

I had an [evil ] moment yesterday - next door have two minature schnautzers who are really yappy - and they look through the hedge and bark if we're in our garden. I have tried everything - ignoring, saying hello, growling etc, all to no avail. Yesterday one of them had another go - I got the hose and squirted water at it - it worked - it stopped barking and ran away!!!!! I don't mind the odd bit of excited barking, or barking to say hello, or barking to get back in the house. HOwever, I don't want to be barked at when I'm in my own garden!

[CMOTdibbler]

Gosh, I go away for the weekend, and I come back and you'd gone

Must get on with very boring tender response, but photo of me going out (v bad photo, but it was all rather rushed to get out the door for 7 and have DS in bed) on profile. Long sleeves would have been better, but I couldn't bend my elbows in the oshrug I had ordered.

I had a lovely lie in for Mothers Day - DH ended up with both children as the other DH was too hungover to cope .

DH very excited as his fave band ever are reforming for some European festivals, and I have given him a weekend pass to go to the UK festival they are doing. Along with a number of friends. I wish I was going too, but there is no one to have DS for a long weekend.

MT - squirting is a totally acceptable way of dealing with yapping imo. The only thing that ever stopped my old cat doing anything was a plant spray

[teafortwo]

Hello all - aaaaaaah - mmmmm - sisters

...hey

My sister has a really awful one - nothing but trouble she tells me!!! !!!!

[thumbwitch]

wow, CMOTD - great bodice thingy! Looking good there.

Am confused by your post - how many DHs do you have?? Or is it that your DH has a DC by previous marriage and his ex's new DH was too hungover to cope? [fick emoticon]

My sis and I rub along ok together - it's my bro who I don't have anything to do with now. blame would be 50:50 I think - he had the most appalling GF which didn't help at all and she encourgaed him to split himself away from his family - but he is a pompous arse as well so not all her fault - and now she is an ex, he is spending more time seeing my Dad and my sis but not me (It really doesn't bother me at all - he was exceptionally rude to DH who now wouldn't have him in the house even if he wanted to come.)

[CMOTdibbler]

Sorry - we were staying with friends, and both I and female friend got to lie in - the deal was that her DH and my DH were getting up with the kids, but mine sent hers back to bed.

God, couldn't cope with 2 DH's, much as I love the other bloke. He did proposition me once (in the far, far past when we were students and both single) - but then threw up on my shoes.

My brother is being much improved by his new girlfriend. Seems like she is badgering him into seeing our parents much more often

[thumbwitch]

lol at studenty "romantic" proposition CMOTD!

[mistlethrush]

I'm an only with an only, so don't have the delight of sisters or brothers to -not- get along with. Dh has one brother - but he's on a different continent, so don't see him much.

Suffering from itchy fingers today. Havn't yet managed to pot up a bit of my aloe vera plant (which is going a bit mad) so that I can bring one into the office now I have a nice light window sill. Of course, it won't exactly look great with leaves cut off here and there, but my fingers will appreciate having it here. Put some on this morning at breakfast time and my fingers have only just started itching/hurting again. Don't know what I've done to get them so bad though...

Also trying to pull out the odd rose/ blackberry thorn...

[Racingsnake]

MT - I got Aged Parent to try that with our border collie who barks like mad when they go out and feed the chickens. Collies are rather clever and she quickly learnt to hide behind a tree, pop out and have a quick bark, then pop back in again!

Was thinking about my and other people's DHs. Sounds like they can all be somewhat trying at times! Mine came from a very disfunctional home - controlling, angry father who always put them down, telling them they were stupid, selfish, lazy, etc. His younger brother was still bed wetting at 8 and was sent to a psychiatrist. Recently his father was punched in his car by a passer-by at whom he was shouting insults. MOther kept very much under control - never aloowed to learn to drive then ordered to do so when husband got ill. DH resents the fact that she didn't leave her husband and take the children.

Trouble is, of all her four boys, she says that my DH most resembles his father! Not suprising, I suppose, that all this comes out when he is a father at last; it's the only role model he has.

Also I am a primary school teacher. We try to accentuate the positive and ignore the negative, whereas DH takes it for granted if I do anything right and only points out what I do wrong. (Generally 3 things by breakfast time). But that is just cultural, I think. I need to learn to detatch and let it all wash over me.

Someone asked if he is depressed. I wouldn't be suprised. He had a hernia operation in the autumn and I think that was an awful shock. Intimations of mortality and things like that.

I have a lovely sister, very troubled, quite definitely depressed and self destructive. However, she had a motor bike accident a week or so ago - several days unconcious, concussion, broken fingers, dislocated joints etc and it seems to have made a huge positive difference! She is just so glad to be alive and not missing any limbs (my father lost an arm in an accident when we were children) that she is trying to turn her life around. Stopping smoking, given up married man, thinking of going back to practicing accupuncture, found new lovely boyfriend ... I just keep my fingers firmly crossed.

Anyway, not exactly what you all wanted to read at lunch time. Don't worry if you missed out the middle boring bit.

Have just made this pot of virtual fish soup with croutons (sorry MT), which is quite an achievement while at the same time teaching 32 7 and 8 year old how to convert meters to centimetres and what Hindus think happen after death.

Bon appetit!

(Will not be spell checking, so you are welcome to post this on AIBU shouldn't teachers be able to spell)

[mistlethrush]

That doesn't sound easy to cope with RS - you must have a lot of patience, and good ear protectors at times.

Sorry to hear about your sister - but sounds as though she is doing well!

Dogs - I wouldn't have a problem if it had been my dog that I had squirted - although mine wouldn't dream of barking like that and I would have told her that its not acceptable (and she would have listened) anyway - its just that it was the neighbours' dog!!! However, I don't see that I should put up with the constant yapping for another summer...

[thumbwitch]

RS - wow, that sounds like your sister had a rough time - can I check - this accident, it had to have been more than a week or so ago, surely? More like a year? I could be wrong but I don't think you mentioned it...

Sorry your Dh has historical troubles - it's always such a shame that dysfunctionality goes on down through the generations, for whichever of so many reasons

MT - bravo on the dog-squirting - I like to squirt cats in my garden just because they are there (pre-emptive strike to prevent cat poo "landmines" later).
Why have you got itchy fingers, btw?

[mistlethrush]

I have no idea. Its usually because someone else has used my washing up gloves, or I've accidently used 'bad' soap - but can't think of anything since Sat am (used dh's 'sensitive skin' shower gell as I'd forgotten to bring my soap in and the normal tray that the soap normally stays in in the shower has fallen down...) - so I've got three bad fingers on LH and two on RH - add that to the chapping I've got and my hands look really and at the moment.

We also get rid of cats in garden - with the aim of trying to have no cat problems in the garden - but we normally work on the method of calling the dog and opening the back door! It gives the dog a good adrenaline surge and some exercise without endangering the cat in any way!

[Racingsnake]

Maybe my sister's accident was three weeks ago, thinking about it. She lives in Nottingham and I live in Dorset and she is often busy for a couple of weeks and so doesn't ring, so we weren't worried about her. She only telephoned to report her accident when she had had the final repair operation, because otherwise, she felt, there would be lots of impotent worrying. She now rings every couple of days, which she has never done since she ran away from home at the age of 13! I suppose I am less suprised because she is really into motorbikes and tends to fall off them quite regularly. In fact, when she was telling me about the accident, I kept interrupting to say, "And have I told you about Wriggle's terrible cough?" I really hope that this is a sort of wake up call and she does take a new direction in life. She is trained as a accupuncturist and actually very good. In recent years she has been working as a rigger for open air concertts. out-of-touch, uncool person emoticon

MT - I got a huge packet of surgical gloves from one of the gadget catalogues, which are great at protecting hands and also save a lot of hand washing - I sometimes put them on even just for painting or bread making! (But not often, I am not that fussy.)

[Catitainahatita]

Morning all,

Sorry to hear about your hands MT; when my thumb was still being a pain I used surgical gloves nearly all the time in the house (nappy changing, preparing food, etc etc ...although with constant washing and/or changing of gloves). They are quite comfortable if a little sweaty. If you are allergic to latex though, they'll be a bad idea.

RS I hope your sister carries on with her recovery in both senses (bodily and life). My DH also had a pretty messed up childhood too; he is desperate not to be like his own father (ie violent). He comes across as being very selfconfident, but is actually pretty insecure. I have been trying for years to get him to go for counselling with not much sucess.

Have you tried talking to him about his criticising you? It sounds like it gets you down. It might be a small thing that he could try and reduce somewhat....? If you have already to no avail, I'lll just send much sympathy and some of MT's biscuits that I had a go at making on Sunday.

I think the oven was too hot as they are a bit too crisp, but htey still taste good!

[mistlethrush]

Glad you like them! I like them crisp. If you want to be able to eat them with less chance of breaking a tooth () make them a little thicker next time? Did you make them with honey? I think that you could probably try a lot of recipies that call for syrup using honey instead - its just that most people don't want to as syrup is cheap compared to honey....

[Catitainahatita]

With honey: I still couldn't get my head round the idea of making my own syrup. I'm a woman who gets set in her ways and finds change a difficult concept to deal with.

Perhaps thicker is the way forward, although I mage them thinner then I could have more than one with my tea! (I tend to foolmyself in that way... cutting toast into four squares etc. It make sme think I'm eating more)

[amber32002]

Yes please for a virtual biscuit, and maybe a large cup of tea if there's one going.

[mistlethrush]

Amber - you do see some fantastic carts that eg Alsatians get on really well with - some even seem to dash around faster than they were before...

Hope you have some positive news tomorrow.

[Catitainahatita]

to hear about your dog. I once saw a dog strapped to a skateboard; he seemed quite happy. But obviously, I assume that, like the Darleks, he was somewhat intimidated by the stairs.

I hope you can work something out. If he's not in any pain it seems unnecessary to put him down.

[amber32002]

Hmm, stairs...yes, that could be a problem. But I think stairs are less of a challenge for dogs out on walks. Kerbs, maybe. Ditches, certainly. Would have to be carefully watched.

[mistlethrush]

Here Amber, let me top that Whiskey Mac up for you. Rather a peculiar time of year to be drinking it, if I may say, but agree that if you are going to dip ginger biscuits into something alcoholic, something made with Ginger Wine as one of the main ingredients is probably the best.

The carts I've seen in action (on film) seem to go over things really easily - must be made by the same people that make Mountain Buggy pushchairs