Tea room the 5th - welcome to the yurt

[UniS]

Welcome to the tea room. A warm welcome to everyone, whether you have one child, none, or ten. This is a tea-and-muffin or booze-and-sofasorcanapees sanctuary for all. But certain standards of behaviour continue to apply - anyone engaging in fisticuffs will be ejected by George Clooney, ably assisted by Mellors the Gardener.

You have found us- did you like teh slide/ bridge over teh HaHa. Teh priest hole is still available, its just over there.

Mellors and I have erected the yurt, strewn rugs around and good a good fire going in the wood burner. The place is feeling toasty and warm with not a draft to be felt.The kettle is now singing away on the hob. selection of teas for all taste on the shelf along with the hand made by potters mugs. Mellors very ably fitted teh yurt window with a window sill onto which can be placed a selection of pot plants and george.

Can someone sort out RP ( who I think came over with the sofa) and plump up the hay pile for donk.

A Previous incarnation of Tea room may be found here

By the way, Amber, I loved the suggestion that those with ASD don't have imaginations.

Although in your case it's hard to tell because the tea room is oh so very real!

This is a bit like one of those computer games - do you remember the bouncing baby from the burning building one?

It's no good, Googling 'naked mohawk babies' gets 121 hits, but combining it with 'repel', 'attack' etc is getting me nothing. Erm ... not vampires so garlic wouldn't work ... coriander ... no, that would complement their carroty steeds. Oh, I don't know.

Meanwhile, in real life, I have been slicing potatoes VERY VERY CAREFULLY with a mandoline, aware of the irony should I manage to really injure my fingers.

Just what I need after struggling to read ancient documents in terrible handwriting.

But what will these terrors turn into after midnight? I have fears of a rerun of the Gremlins films in Tearoom Part V.

Any suggestions for a good title? We could be at the Oscars in 2010.

In terms of repelling babies:
If the mohawks are anything like my DS we could just jump them and wash their faces with a damp cloth... DS always screams as if he is being tortured.

Wow, you guys, glad I found you!

I do want to say though that the slides up and down over the ha-ha made it somewhat difficult for those of us who are convalescing and lugging 25 pound toddlers which strictly speaking they should not be doing to reach you all... but we're here now!

And by the way, I think the words "mohawk" and "tomahawk" have somehow morphed together due to slightly inebriated spelling... which makes the babies seem rather intimidating!!

Oh, that makes sense JM, I did wonder why the nakedmohawkbaby thought I'd caught my finger on its teeny tiny mohawk - thought maybe it had industrial quantities of gel in, and was thus rendered sharp. I think ... that one over there actually is wielding a teeny tiny tomahawk though.

AH, well done, JM we needed that good Canadian influence. The closest I have come to all things Native Indian is watching drooling Daniel Day Lewis in Return of the Mohicans

which is quite wrong

Actually, the little baked babies got their tomahawks out to fend off Mellors and Sharpe. For which one can hardly blame them

DCMB - I've got a rather cleaver mandoline that doesn't allow you to slice anything unless you're using the finger guard - apart from on the cheese grater when you don't have to use the guard. The finger guard brings the blade up to cutting height - otherwise dropped down flat with the rest of the surface....

Mind you, I normally use a knife! Either that or an apple wedger to make potato wedges.

Anyone peering in might get a bit of a shock looking in at the moment? Has anyone invited anyone over recently (or were you put off by that post some weeks ago!) - if so, I think there should be some sort of summary...

Has anyone seen Justabout recently? Does she know that we've moved a bit further away from the bishops and are now in a yurt?

JM you must TAKE THINGS EASY. Don't start doing lots becauase your mother has gone home... Now's an ideal time to get JB to do more things himself 'because mummy's got a poorly tummy' or similar...

Hi Jacksmama, nice to virtually see you! I still feel guilty for ignoring you in our previous incarnation. It wasn´t on purpose.

I also echo MT's instructions on taking things easy, otherwise you'll take longer to recover. Soldiering on is false economy.

I also like the idea of a finger guard on knives. I obviously could do with one....

Oh and, I saw Justabout on another thread at the weekend. I expect she is too busy writing her thesis to be relaxing in the tearoom. She's probably put down thousands and thousands of words by now [hopeful emoticon]

Watch out for the nakedmohawkbabies morphing into hammer house of horrors creatures at midnight GST. I shall come back with lots of cold water and flannels to see them off later on.

Do you think we could come up with an entire new genre or at least an off-shoot from horror or something like that - dishcloths at dawn, and facecloths at midnight...

All at the Donkey Sanctuary have now been fed and watered - and stuffed with far too many pancakes.

Donk rolls into a somnolent heap, her stomach distended, in the hay pile to sleep it all off!

We're having pancake day on Thursday - couldn't face them today - have stuck to baked potato which is actually the only thing I really feel like eating at the moment.

Daisy may have beaten me to it, but I think we should beware of what the naked Mohawk babies may grow into.

Must go and fix late supper but will return later ................

AH, MadBad thanks for the link!

Mistle love the idea of face clothes and dish cloths seeing us through! How very maternal!

We have done pancakes. I was flipping the flipping things away while DH and DaisyBoy were blissed out facing the other way making a Mr Potato Head.

They soon realised the error of their ways and paid much more attention

I do sometimes wonder which is the child in the house, I really do. They were both so good at humouring me while exchanging meaningful glances with each other

right, come and get it!

Bolly (pop)

G&T (slurp)

Sherry (sip)

I plan to see off the nakedmohawkbabies with a pack of Tesco Value baby wipes. Can't fail. One, the nakedmohawkbabies must surely share all babies' horror of wipes. Two, I don't know what Tesco put in them, but they cut through the grease on my cooker hood like nobody's business. I wouldn't put them within a mile of an actual baby's face or bum.

Eek, MT, cleaver mandoline! Quality typo, up there with the Young Framers (erm, I wasn't actually paying attention at that point in the this tearoom, took me ages to work it out). I had to look up mandolin/mandoline on Wikipedia to make sure I got the kitchen implement and not the lute-like instrument. It said that some people wear metal gloves to use them! The kitchen implement, that is, obviously.

Captain Corelli was slicing potatoes?

Now that's a thought!

Also am strangely fascinated at what led you first to try the Tesco baby wipe on your cooker hood

I mean, for goodness sakes woman, what were you doing!

I can imagine the scene. A post partem DCMB struggling downstairs in the middle of the night, just finished feeding BabyDCMB and wanting a cuppa

Ho hum, she says, while waiting for the kettle to boil. That cooker hood is looking a little grotty. I know! try the baby wipe!

Was it something like that!

Gosh, no, Daisy, Tesco Value babywipes came nowhere near my PFB until she was well over 3! In fact they only do now if she's been particularly naughty.

I'm not sure how it came about - the truth is I am a slattern and tend to spot-clean as I go along, so I suspect I grabbed a babywipe to clean up something else greasy one day, noted its anti-grease properties, and tried it on the cooker hood. They work well on the posh Brabantia bin as well. Not very environmentally friendly, but then I don't use them very often - slattern, like I said.

Many years ago I heard Dale Winton (yes, the orange one) on a chat show saying that baby wipes are the best thing for spot-cleaning stains on suits. Well, it saves on dry cleaning, I guess.

More Bolly anyone?

I clean the leather sofa with baby wipes - we noticed after cleaning something child related off that they were far more effective than the proper leather wipes. I use face wipes on my suits when away - but that is out of non choice in the matter

DS was totally into making pancakes, but didn't want to eat mine. Apparently he had eaten his at nursery with relish, and was trying to steal pancake from the plate of the smaller, slower eater next to him

Tomorrow I embark on a serious ebay listing programme to clear out my wardrobes of all the stuff I don't wear. To include - the lovely evening dress which I can't wear as the straps constantly fall off my shoulders. The shoes with the lovely ribbon ties that need retying every 3 seconds. The gorgeous evening shoes that have been precisely the wrong colour to go with anything I wear. etc. etc.

ooh, bolly this way please - ta very much.

I don't use babywipes hardly at all - and then only the Nature's Baby ones - but I don't even like them. DS is obviously not alone in screaming like a skinned cat every time I go near his face to wash it, then!

love te idea of naked baked mohawk-wearing tomahawk-wielding babies morphing late at night - perhaps they turn into Pontypines, in an ironical twist?

we did think about pancakes tonight but DH found a whole duck at half price in the supermarket so we had roast duck instead - Dh does a fantastic job of that, so very tender!

So - pancakes at the weekend instead.