Anyone else think that siblings are overrated?

[Anonforthisparticularpost]

I am probably one and done. One thing I frequently see posted on MN, is people saying that they had a second child so the first child would "have other family" once they and their partner are gone.

I think this is nice if it happens, but it's an overly optimistic and romanticised view of sibling relationships as adults.

I have a brother, and he adds very little to my life, not in a nasty way, but in a practical sense. As an adult, I may as well be an only child.

Our parents have always taken great pains to treat us equally, so there's no golden child scenario to create a sibling rift, nor has there ever been a dramatic falling out, my brother just doesn't really give a toss about staying in touch with me.

I am a couple of years older, and we got on as kids until he hit his early teens, when he decided to reject all things academic. His choice, and it's fair enough, but it has meant that he and I have had very different lives and interests since then.

As adults, he has never contacted me to keep in touch, so texts to maintain any semblance of a sibling relationship always come from me, and he just generally can't be arsed.

He's now moved with his partner to a country in Southeast Asia, and doesn't have any interest in asking about his nephew (my toddler DS), or in keeping in touch with me unless I message him.

This context makes me scoff a bit when people say I should have a second DC to guarantee a lifelong family member and companion for my DS.

I had three children purely for me because I love kids and being a Mum. I tried endlessly for a fourth but my fertility wasn't up to it.

I definitely didn't have kids so they could support me or each other. Which was the right thing given all three have additional needs. The middle child will require care all his life and while the other two will live independently, dh and I will be making plans to make sure we never burden them.

I have three siblings. We were horrendously abused during childhood and I have no relationship with one and am low contact with the other two.

I was born alone and I am expecting to die that way too.

I agree that people often give their kids siblings for misguided reasons.

It's such a tricky one OP as there is literally no guarantees when you have a child. I'm incredibly close with my brother and sister, but I know many who don't have that bond. I know people who hated being an only and people who loved it. At the end of the day it's such a personal decision, and one that ultimately can't be controlled.