Is 49 too old to be a dad?

[outnumbered30]

What's peoples opinions on the dad being 49 when you give birth? Is it acceptable?

No it's really not. But it does depend on circumstances, health, willingness. Lots of things to think about. Given that you already have one little one I don't think it'll make much difference.

My father was 50 when my younger sister was born (very large age gap between us). He is now suffering from advanced lung cancer at 73, and is unlikely to see her ever get married or have children. My sister at 23 has been hit very hard by it. Having a parent so much older is not something I would choose for a child, to be honest.

with that said, if you already have a 1 year old, I don’t think having a second now would be very different 🤷‍♀️

One of my friends is in his mid 50s and has a one year old. I'd say he's of a young mindset though, and very fit and energetic etc.

My dad died at 55 from cancer. It can happen at any age. Sure it's more common in older people but I don't think fear of what may or may not happen health wise should put you off having kids. Nobody knows what's around the corner.

Yeah I work with a few in there early 50’s with toddlers
depressing that you lunge from childcare to retirement

We are in this very position, my husband will be 49 when the baby is born and I will be 39. It’s the right time for us, we have lived the life we wanted, done the trips and experiences we wanted before settling down. Now is that time.

he’s a young 49, looks younger than me (asshole). Yes we have reservations but we couldn’t be happier. Life is what you make of it and you feel the life you live. Ask us again in 10 years, might be different but who knows? 🤷‍♀️

No, it’s fine.

I was 36 when I had my child and his dad was 53. Don't listen to judgment from people. As long as you're all a happy family unit who cares what other people think

My dad was 50 when I was born and I’m now in a situation where he’s nearing the end of his life at the same time as me having very young children. I feel bad that I’m not able to support and spend more time with him because of the stage of life I’m at and sad that my kids won’t get more time with him. My in-laws on the other hand are very much still fit and active and able to support us rather than being the ones needing it.

Obviously this won’t apply to everyone but it is something to factor in.

My dad is 30 years older than me. He insisted on being a dad by 30 because his mum was 46 having him (his dad 50) and their deaths before they had chance to meet his children was heartbreaking to him. (She had dementia for about a decade and thought he was 5 for all of that time.)

To me, 49 is ANCIENT to have a child.

That being said, if I ever got pregnant again I'd be having a child even if I was 49, but in no way would I plan it.

As it stands, by the time we are 49, we will have a 28 year old and 23 year old.

Dh was 48 when dd2 was born, . Honestly it’s pretty old. He won’t admit it but he was knackered in the early days and friends his own age had teens. Now he’s 58 with dd9 and 11. He is in good shape but works long hours and doesn’t have energy for much else. The dc are aware he’s older and worry about how old he’ll be when they are x age. He’s about 15 years older than most school parents we know.

I wouldn’t say it was the wrong decision because by the time we’d met and were in the right position to have kids, that’s just how old he was. And obvs we love the kids and don’t regret them - but it does make a difference.

Life is what it is - husband was older than 49 when both of ours were born (I was in my 30s). Amazing bright healthy children - he's a hands on Dad which wouldn't have been possible when he was younger because of his career.
We met later in life and just got on with it.
I'd go for a second child if that is what you both want to do!
Good luck

Of course it's not too old! It's the person, not the years on the clock.
I've come across some dreadful parents in their 20s and 30s. Being younger doesn't mean better.

There was a thread on here not long ago where a mum was asking if she was too old to have had her child in her 40's.
The majority of comments argued that it was completely normal to have a child in your 40's and there was no disadvantages to being an older parent.
The hypocrisy is astounding, it's ok for mums but not ok for men?

Would you have liked your Dad to be 49 years older than you?

Really?

’In your 40s’ is very vague. In your 40s could be 40/41.

I very much doubt there was a thread where the majority said it was normal for a woman to have a baby at 49.

And normal (as in not unusual) doesn’t mean that people would choose it. I think it’s quite usual for men in their late 40s and early 50/ having babies. Doesn’t mean I think it’s a good idea or would choose to have children with a man of that age. So I would still say that, imo, it’s too old to be having a baby.

Thread after thread on here about dreadful dads. Not pulling their weight, lazy, bullying, won't do housework, won't do childcare. I doubt if they're all in their 50s.
With parenting, there are many variables - age is just one. An older parent isn't necessarily a bad one.

Agree and also the older Dads I know don't want to be out drinking / clubbing etc like they did in their 20s /30s - they have been there done that and the focus is on the child. Also they are financially stable too which also helps.

Far too old to be a parent of a newborn. Almost 50?! Just NO!

Not from me. I would never support a WOMAN being a mum to a newborn at 49/50 either. 40 should be the max IMO.

It would have been too old for my DH. He was 44 when our youngest was born (I was 31). I could have probably gone for a third at 35/36, but DH felt he was too old.

However, our kids were 9 & 5 when he was 49. Your DH already has a 1 yr old so he will be bringing up children well into his 60s anyway. I say go for it.

My Dad was a little younger than that, but he almost died from a heart attack when I was in my early 20s. Mum had been taken by something else before then so I narrowly avoided being parent-less when I was barely an adult.

He had to stop engaging with the family hobby when I was in my early teens due to his body already wearing out. He's never been able to care for his grandchildren for more than a couple of hours due to energy levels and now can't at all. We, his children, are now juggling parenting and caring at the same time. Those few years make a huge difference.

Don't worry about the judgement. If you want two, have two.

He already has a young child so he won't be that different in age to when your other child was born anyway.

Also, some of these anecdotes are from years ago. 50 year olds are generally much more fit and healthy now..