Is 49 too old to be a dad?

[outnumbered30]

What's peoples opinions on the dad being 49 when you give birth? Is it acceptable?

My dad was exactly a week off 60 when I was born.

Our neighbour did exactly that and he is fucking knackered. Honestly he looks wrecked (he’s now 52 with a very lively 3 year old).

My husband Dad was 56 when he was born and his Mum was 34. Luckily for my husband his Dad lived to be 93 so they had many years together but obviously with an older Dad he missed out on lots of things like someone to run around and play football with and of course his Dad's potential mortality was always in the back of his mind from quite a young age which I do think affected him. For this reason he was an only child which he actually loved. Of course your DH isn't as old but I'd have a really careful think about the negatives to being/having an older Dad versus being an only child.

I have a friend who became a dad for the first time at 48. He said it was ok, as she wasn't knackered from having already done it.

I have a colleague who is about to become a dad again after a 23 year gap at 49. I'll report back...!

Totally disagree. People are way more accepting of young parents these days. The old 'I'll be enjoying myself in my 40's when all my friends are changing nappies' attitude is rife. I think there's a lot more stigma towards older parents these days.

Really don't think it matters providing all parties are happy and healthy.

Age 20 they'll be 70.. as you say he's fit and healthy so the child will already be an adult. I've had 70 year old family members with considerable health issues they ticked along till 90. My mums uncle had TB and one lung, he still got to a very old age.

My partner said no at 40 purely because he couldn't see keeping up with them due to health. Everyone's individual so it really needs to be your decision and judgement rather than strangers who have no idea on your life.

Please do! Also wonder what his eldest child has said and thought?

Totally disagree. People are way more accepting of young parents these days. The old 'I'll be enjoying myself in my 40's when all my friends are changing nappies' attitude is rife. I think there's a lot more stigma towards older parents these days.

People definitely aren't more accepting of 19 year old parents than 49. They really aren't.

19: kids having kids, you've ruined your life, can't have a career, can't have education, no free time, ruined your youth, your relationship will fail, you don't own a home, I spent my 20s travelling how sad for you that you can't, ^

49: everything worked out fine for me, it's your business, nobody should judge you, my auntie had a baby at 47 and she's still alive 50 years later, ooh how lovely^

Saying 'they'll be out of nappies' is hardly an insulting comment to a 40 year of first time parent who is doing things the 'normal' way as their peers. It's it a bit like people saying treat they feel straight is the minority.

As I say, I only bring it up because it's so stark on MN which is anon so you get a real idea. If 19 is too young, then 49 is probably too old.

My Dad was 49 when I was born.
I have no regrets even though I was young (26) when he died

Not at all unusual where I live, SE about an hour commute out of London.

I was talking about this only today. In my child’s class, yr 2 primary so aged 6-7, there are 2 mums who are 52/53, at least 5 mums 47-50. There are a handful of mums in their late 30’s and the rest I would say are in their early 40’s. A couple of dads I know are in their 50’s.

49 was around the top end of the age range for mums having their second / third baby, but pretty normal for dads.

Most 49-year-old pregnant women would be from IVF with donor eggs surely?

But anyway I’d say 49 is fine, especially considering you already have a baby. I think that makes it an easier decision in some ways.

It depends, it's ok, wouldn't make me feel sorry for the child in any way, like say Al Pacino's newest baby!

But if a younger friend were in this situation planning a baby with a 49 year old, I'd be beginning to think that it made a difference whether or not he smoked, drank, carried weight, or stayed fit.

I'm 53 and I'd hate to have a 4 year old. EVEN IF I had a lot of money for nanny's and babysitters.

In the nicest possible way, he was old when you had your 1yr old. The "is he too old" when it's a case of 47 vs 49, is daft. It kind of doesn't matter that he'll be 70 when that child is 20, because he's going to be 67 with a 20yo anyway.

You're not saving him anything by not having another, that ship has sailed. You may as well if it's what you desperately want.

My dad had another baby when he was 50. I just think he’s a fucking idiot tbh.

enemaofthestate. My sister works in theatre and has met several women 50/51 with ‘shock’ natural pregnancies. Women who stopped using contraception because they thought they were menopausal....surprise! 😊

This was my friend 18 years ago- same age gap. All good here. Boys are 18 and 16. Age gap is a worry for health reasons. But there's risks with everything. Go for it

I think if he's fit and looks after himself it's fine.
You can't control everything and life might throw a curve ball but I don't think that's a given. Lots of men would see their child will into adulthood but if he neglected himself I wouldn't, much less likely then.

Mens at that age often have a lot more wisdom and patience.

Dad here. I had my kids at 22 and 24. Wife 19 and 21. I’m now 40, couldn’t imagine having a baby now. I think 49 is too old, buts that just my opinion.

I know a chap who became a first time Dad at 67. He’s great and did all the school pickups at Primary, son wants to be an engineer as his Dad has taken him along to the technology museum where he volunteers. There are many ways to parent at any age.

Yes. It's too old.

Didn't you consider this when you decided to be with a much older man?

Yes, absolutely

Of course I considered it but things change. As in we always were settled on having one and then now she's here I can't imagine not having another which I never really thought I'd feel like.
He is older than me but he's also exercises regularly, doesn't smoke, rarely drinks and doesn't look his age.
I suppose there are always people older and stories of a lot older but I just wanted peoples thoughts on it. He's amazing with our one year old and he adores her and that is the most important thing