Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

Washed hair or cleaned scalp is basic care.

Brushed? No.
There are lots of types of hair, from dead straight to 4-C coils. Not all of them are amenable to brushing.

In addition, individual children can have very sensitive scalps or sensory issues that make brushing very painful for them. There is no need to force brushing or combing of a child's hair.

The basic requirement is to do no harm. Pulling a brush or comb through hair every morning if it causes tears, anxiety, or pain, is causing harm. There are other ways around the problem.

Well most toddlers put food into their hair, roll on the ground, put paint/samd etc on themselves. So yeah, I would wash em every day or every other day! If you don’t want to then that is your choice. I like my children to feel clean and fresh!

Surely you use a barrier cream for nappy area? I always did my DD always hated her hair being brushed in the morning wouldn't have it tied up. She has autism and sensory issues but she was happy for me to comb conditioner through her hair in the bath. I found a good children's detangler spray which helped.

There aren't any . I often wonder why people start threads but never follow them up . Maybe they don't even read them 🤔

Hi OP.

I would comply completely with the nursery. Visit the GP, do exactly as they advise, attend the meeting etc willing to implement the changes.

Regarding the nappy rash, any idea of the cause? I’ve read a few judgemental “My child never had nappy rash” style posts. Well, mine did as a young exclusively breastfed baby (of course it’s not the case with you!) as she constantly pood - and I mean 20+ nappy changes a day kind of pooing. It was a huge source of stress which I’m sure was actually undiagnosed postnatal depression purely because of her stomach issues. I consider myself a good parent and we even visited the GP a few times about it. But anyway, I tried every strategy and these helped but it didn’t clear until her stomach finally settled:

• Really regular changing - after every small pee too.
• As much nappy free time as physically possible.
• White and purple tubed Metanium - I also found the yellow one worsened it. Whatever works best for you. We all have a favourite.
• Applying the above sparingly. Please ignore the “slather it on” advice I’ve seen here. A thick barrier will hinder the absorption of the nappy and make things worse.
• The most important is ensuring her bum is totally dry before applying anything or putting a nappy back on.
• Prevention is better than cure so do all of the above when you see a little redness. It can escalate really quickly otherwise.
• Avoid acidic food and limit fruit esp citrus while it’s bad - go for veg instead.
• Always seek the GP’s advice if it doesn’t clear in a few days or worsens as it could be fungal - or just very painful! It sounds like a bad case for them to advise you to see a GP.

I know it’s a little contentious here but I also think that her hair should be combed, ringlets and protests or not. If it’s not, it’ll be far more painful for both you and mainly here if it gets matted. I imagine washing it regularly will make things better anyway as you’ll be using detangler and conditioner. Do what you need to do here. A snack while you do it, even screen time if she has that.

Your comment about clothes is vague. I assume they’re either dirty, too small or inadequate for the weather? Go to supermarkets or even Primark and buy multipacks of leggings and tops etc. Vinted does bundles for very cheap. Often people want to offload stuff and just want the postage paid. If they’re unclean, I found having a weekly and even daily chore schedule really helpful with all the things we have to do as parents. You can even add routines like toothbrushing. Sorry if this sounds patronising but I know how nicknames about hygiene stick throughout childhood and adolescence having seen it with some classmates.

I hope the meeting is constructive and the rash gets sorted quickly!

1. bodily autonomy- teeth and body are non-negotiable because harm can come of it . No one has died as a result of unbrushed hair as far as I’m aware. We brush gently when shes ready and it’s overall it’s been a lot more calm and pleasant of an experience. As she’s grown, she’s realised that it’s much nice not to have tangles and hair everywhere and she’s learnt gently rather than it being a lesson of tears . (although her hair tangles if you look at it for too long so it’s basically a pointless exercise- id love to learn how to keep it tangle free for more than thirty seconds )

2. My child has absolutely wild curls. They suit her personality perfectly - of course I love it when she has sweet little bunches or plaits but she looks herself when she’s wild. This is the general consensus of literally everyone we’ve met. She’s in the woods or on the farm most of the time so she’s constantly covered in mud- shes wild and happy and I LOVE it. She’ll wash, her clothes (when she keeps them on) will wash - but she’ll have the most beautiful connection with nature and have the BEST adventures. And if that comes at the cost of a few hair ties and a few extra loads of washing , so be it. She is loved beyond measure (and cleaned regularly 😂)

(I was replying to someone but somehow it won’t quote them)

Hard to say without knowing your DD and you.

A bit of nappy rash is par for the course in tiny tots, and nurseries should be well versed in dealing with it. But it sounds like it's currently being untreated, and maybe they've observed it getting worse?
It's not standard practice to call parents in over a bit of nappy rash, so clearly they are concerned.

It's minimum expectations really that she come in cleaned and groomed. A nappy-wearing aged child doesn't get to decide whether her hair is brushed or not. If she's being THAT objectionable about it, then you need to cut it all off until she's of an age to handle it, or when you've got more bandwidth to deal with it. Or it needs handling like the parents of black children handle their hair. It's cut short, or put into a protective long-lasting style.

Do you need to be concerned - yes, a bit tbh. You need to show engagement and willingness to meet them on their comments and act on them. Otherwise it will be a call to social services. Which no one wants. So I'd suggest you nod, smile, and do what they say.

13 pages of answers.. no op response..

Smells like a fake thread to me 🤷‍♀️

Is the yellow cream bebanthem (spelling?) I work in early years and I cannot understand why people rave about it so much. Sudocream is the best. Bath dab dry and absolutely slather sudocream on if it's not cleared up/almost gone by morning yes I'd say it's bad enough to see a gp. If you have been treat with bebanthem then I would have considered you may not be unreasonable but for the nursery to call you in over hygiene then I suspect you are unreasonable. If you already use sudocream at home and have constant nappy rash then nappies are not being changed after a poo fast enough- if they have nappy rash you change immediately don't wait 5 minutes to be sure they have done it all or think wr will be home in 10 minutes I can wait.

Do you give a lot of fruit pouches? I don't know if there is research to back this up but in my experience they usually have lemon juice in there and cutting them out can make a big difference with reoccurring nappy rash.

Curly hair in kids is very often messy nursery will see this day in day out it's likely got some real knots in there or mats for them to be concerned. They would have said it was the hair if it was just hair to be saying hygiene then they probably have a point and you should listen to them. Clean but stained clothes is very common in nursery people don't send their kids in their best clothes just to ruin them again nursery will be used to this.

Are you not washing her hair? If it was just tangled or messy then that wouldn't be a big deal. It sounds like they think you're not washing it.

Also, nappy rash that needs to be seen by a GP is baddd. My baby never had a dot of nappy rash as I changed nappies frequently. I checked every 5 mins to see if they were wet. It took 2.5 seconds to do so. It didn't cost anymore nappy-wise as they were only changed if wet.
Right now, I'd buy Germolene cream and apply that as not only is it antiseptic, it also has a tiny amount of anaesthetic in it, so it will prevent pain for her.
Also, Sudocrem is a barrier cream. Once this bout of nappy rash is 100% cleared up, put Sudocrem on EVERY nappy change and that should prevent any reoccurrence.

Bepanthen is a healing cream for when nappy rash is present already. Sudocrem is a BARRIER cream.....as it states on the packaging. Best applied at every nappy change as a preventative for babies who are prone to nappy rashes

Why wont you give the ‘yellow’ cream a chance?

What problems did it cause your other children

Nursery are concerned, attend the meeting. Listen, be honest and open
There will be notes taken, and if nursery feel that your child is being neglected they will rightly take it further

Tangle teezers are my best friend! Both me and my daughter have curly thick hair and they work a treat. What I've taken to doing is bathing and washing her hair every other night and when wet brushing it and putting it in tight braids and it can last a couple of days as her hair is quite thick.

When she had nappy rash I would always mention it at drop off and send her with cream in her bag that I knew worked and her skin was ok with, and asked if it could be applied at every nappy change, it's a bit poor that you've not been putting cream on it really.

I think go to the meeting and listen to their concerns, they could be over reacting, but also it might be that you need to make some changes, work with the nursery and not against them and you likely won't have anything to worry about.

Don’t make the assumption the lack of nappy rash is your personal achievement somehow. Some kids are prone to it and it’s a constant battle - frequent nappy changes, looking for the right cream, constantly keeping an eye on it.

Having said that, you are right that if a child is prone to nappy rash it’s even more important to stay vigilant and treat it.

For us cca 8-10 nappy changes daily (😭), pure water with cotton wool, Bepanthen at every nappy change, yellow methanium when it got bad and GP visits when it got really bad meant just keeping on top of The only thing that permanently helped is potty training.

So many judgemental posts, I wouldn’t be surprised if OP doesn’t come back

Her dc has a bit of nappy rash and scruffy hair….who sends their kids to nursery in their best clothes? To get covered in paint, sand and food?

Its not advised to bath your kids every day.

I would just take her to the GP to shut nursery up, maybe the GP can recommend a better cream?

OP isn’t neglecting her child.

I wouldn’t be sending a child to nursery with pristine clothing but it would be clean and fit them .
Hair needs to be clean and free of tangles .
a wide tooth comb and spray in conditioner helps .
nappy rash needs treated

This is possibly a safeguarding concern of neglect if a child often is unclean , severe nappy rash , dirty hair and they are doing the right thing highlighting this and will be able to advise you in order to prevent this sort of thing and support those parents who need it .

Think it’s safe to say OP is never coming back!

I mean the clothes concern alone must be pretty bad for them to mention. Lots of parents send them in old nursery clothes.
Are they too small, smelly, full or holes or not appropriate for the weather?

Having curly hair is no excuse to send her in with her hair "looking rough". There are several detangling conditioners and products on the market for different types of hair nowadays. How do you think parents of children with Afro hair manage? You need to stop making excuses and learn how to care for your DCs hair type.
As for the nappy rash you probably need to change her more frequently and apply a barrier such as petroleum jelly when doing so. Instead of being upset at being called in, look at what you could be doing differently.

Were concerns raised for any of your other children?

I think so too. She's had a proper bashing on here.

Sorry but those Primark prices are from 2015, I can assure you Primark is not that cheap anymore.

Other than that I agree.

I wouldn’t come back if I were OP, we’re not talking lashings and bruises. Sounds like the hair thing is a battle and maybe op dropped the ball a bit there, nappy rash is normal and all my dc had it at one time or another, I like sudocrem but everyone is different.

No where did op state her child had dirty or ill fitting clothes. She’s probably read it all and is in tears.