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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

How many of you never use nurseries childminders etc and wait until your child is old enough for pre school?

58 replies

McDreamy · 05/09/2007 07:17

Just wondering as my local creche has changed it's opening times and you can now only have 4 hour sessions (DS used to go for a 2 hour session twice a week). I really don't want him to go for 4 hours but I am now worried that he will be "missing out" but is that possible at 2? Surely all the stimulation he needs is at home from his sister and DH and me?

Thanks for reading this far, think I might be over analysing it all tbh I've clearly got too much time on my hands

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jas · 05/09/2007 07:34

Mine went to nursery, but after they were three, and only for 2.5 hr sessions twice a week.
I don't work, so didn't need them to go. I don't think they missed out at all but I did go to toddler groups and other activities with them both.

DS is 18 months ad I won't be sending him anywhere before three either. I enjoy having them at home, and now that the older two are older, I really do appreciate how uikly they grow up, and am making the most of the toddler times.

brimfull · 05/09/2007 07:39

My dc's just went to preschool when they were old enough,dd went at 2yrs 9m and ds went at 3yrs because his birthday is in september.

Don't think they needed anything more before that other than mother and toddler groups to meet other kids.

NAB3 · 05/09/2007 08:01

My son went to playschool at 3 and only because my husband went straight to school at 4-5 and found it hard.
My DD went to the same place at 2.5 but I took her out after 5 months as they were rubbish with her. She then went to a private nursery for about 6-7 months but I removed her as too many staff changes in a short space of time and I couldn't trust what the new manager/owner was going to do next.
My youngest 2 and at the minute he won't go anyway until at least 3.

Pixiefish · 05/09/2007 08:05

DD started last Easter going for 2 x 2 hour sessions. She was 3 and 4 months. She has started at the school nursery group now 5 mornings for 2 hours but she will be 4 at the end of January.

She has been absolutely fine settling in to both and has been home with me and we have done loads of different activities until she went to playgroup

Clayhead · 05/09/2007 08:15

Mine were 3 and just under 3 when they started pre-school, nothing before that.

Original poster

McDreamy · 05/09/2007 10:58

Thnak you, already I feel better

OP posts:

ZoeC · 05/09/2007 11:03

Nothing before the local playgroup (feeds the primary school, which doesn't have its own nursery), although playgroup here takes them at 2.5 years. Dd2 is about to start next week.

mummydoit · 05/09/2007 11:04

I don't work so mine didn't go to nursery/creche/childminder. I certainly don't feel they missed out. We went to toddler groups, music group, swimming and endless visits to playgrounds so they had plenty of opportunities to socialise. They started playgroup when they were 2.5, two sessions a week, when I felt they were ready for it. Far from missing out, I believe that very small children benefit from just being able to play with their own toys in their own home rather than being out and about constantly.

nailpolish · 05/09/2007 11:06

i had an absolute HIDEOUS experience with dd1 - who becuase of my work at the time went to a cm and a nursery
with dd2 i have had her at home (for reasons above) she is 3 next month and has just stared nursery 2 seesions a week
she has absolutely NOT missed out on anyting at all, plus she goes to nursery no probs, she really enjoys it

hth

nailpolish · 05/09/2007 11:06

the experiecne with the cm and nursery were hideous, not dd1

sweetkitty · 05/09/2007 11:09

DD1 just started nursery at 3.1yo, 2.5 hours a day 5 days a week. She went to toddler groups/music group/plus we had her friends over at least once a week so she never missed out.

DD2 will only get a 1 and a 1/3 years at nursery because of her birthday and will start school at 4 1/2.

pistachio · 05/09/2007 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiliAnjelika · 05/09/2007 11:16

Just dropped my 2.5 yr old dd in playgroup for the first time! She was totally ready for it and I am now absolutely chuffed that we decided to look after her at home until now (although obviously it's been tough and I have missed the intellectual stimulation of work ). Expecting my second in 4 weeks and intend to do the same with him - though I may just use a childminder for two mornings a week from about 2 onwards as the childminder is one of my best friends and I don't feel it's the same as formal childcare. I feel I'm going to need a breather from time to time!

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 05/09/2007 11:18

my dd is about to start preschool at 2.10 yo, ds wont be goign to anything before about then anyway unless we need me to go out to work, which i doubt.

i love having them at home with me, we have a structured week with activites on 4 out of 5 days!

LiliAnjelika · 05/09/2007 11:19

A question for pistachio. I've read that 2.5 years old is the best time for girls to start nursery etc whilst it's closer to 3 for boys - who are apparently a little more insecure emotionally. My dd who I mention below is 2.5 and although she will only go to playgroup for a couple of hours 3 mornings a week she does seem developmentally ready for it. She didn't even turn to wave goodbye when I left the building!

TheArmadillo · 05/09/2007 11:23

ds has never been looked after by anyone by relatives (we are very lucky). He starts preschool next week. I have no rational worries about it (irrational on the other hand I have plenty )

Caroline1852 · 05/09/2007 11:30

I agree with Pistachio.

Anna8888 · 05/09/2007 11:42

I also agree with Pistachio.

And I would add - I believe it is important for a child to be able to talk, to describe his/her activities and feelings and to make his/her needs understood to unknown adults before starting any kind of nursery/pre-school.

Joppe · 05/09/2007 11:49

I work, as does DH, and we went out of our way to ensure that we could keep DD at home until she was 3, and then we started her off very slowly. We mostly work freelance, and used to take turns looking after her, work into the night after she was in bed, take turns at weekends, etc. I know this is not possible or desirable for many and I don't have a problem with this, but I certainly would not feel I had to put a child under 3 into childcare, just for the sake of it.

bundle · 05/09/2007 11:52

"According to a friend who is very highly qualified in child psychology a child under 3 gains no benefit from being in childcare. After 3 it's important in terms of getting them ready to cope with a school environment."

pistachio

I know a number of families where their rising 3's have been very difficult to settle in any kind of environment because of the lack of time away from their main carer before they reached this "magic" age. I also know of others who were fine, but fewer of them.

My daughters have benefitted enormously from the loving, small nursery environment they've attended since they were young. Your "highly qualified" friend also knows that good quality childcare (either nannies, childminders or nurseries) provides a stimulating environment in which they can learn through play. They've also made some important friendships with both adults and children. Childcare is used for all sorts of reasons, and I thought long and hard before I chose the right one for me and my family.

LittleB · 05/09/2007 12:18

Interesting to read that dd's do well starting at 2.5. My dd is 2.4 and starts preschool next week, dh thinks she's too young, but I think she'll enjoy it once she settles in, although she has been going through some clingy phases lately. We're starting her now as I work 3 days per week and my MIL looks after dd every mon and tues (other day is either a weekend or my mum looks after her)My MIL is in her 60's and has had a few minor health problems I think it'd be good for her to have a couple of hours rest while dd is at preschool, and good for dd to play with other children, which she loves doing, I feel she's getting a little old for mums and toddlers groups now, although she has other friends, cousins and swimming groups she goes to regularly too.
And I would say many children can talk about their activities and needs and feelings at the age of 2, dd certainly can! I just hope she doesn't cling to me too much when I first take her.

Mum2Luke · 05/09/2007 13:13

My 2 older kids (16 and 14) never went to a private nursery just a state one when they were 3 and then straight onto school, the youngest who is 5 has been with me more or less all the time (I'm a Registered childminder) apart from when I did 2 months work experience in a nursery after gaining my NVQ level 3 in Early Years. I had no minded children at the time and needed some money so I worked as a casual nursery assitant. DS went to my childminder friend but missed me so I gave my notice. Luckily I got a phone call for a lady wanting childcare.

I think when he is 11 and at senior school, I will review my work situation. I would like to be an Early Years worker and get my home back! I dod like cming but I feel its lost its appeal due to lots of paperwork.

Anna8888 · 05/09/2007 13:47

There is nothing unhealthy/unusual/abnormal about a child of three (or thereabouts) going to pre-school/nursery for the first time and needing some adjustment time. That fact may be inconvenient for parents, but it is not an argument in favour of putting children under three in daycare for the sake of getting them used to group care.

legalalien · 05/09/2007 13:51

i'd be interested to know how many of us mums went to preschool and at what age. Is "preschool at 3" a relatively new phenomenon?

I went to kindergarten for about 4 months before starting school on my 5th birthday - mornings only at kindergarten - and I was fine when I went to school.

Anna8888 · 05/09/2007 13:54

I went to "nursery school" in September 1969 - I had had my third birthday in June 1969. I think it was mornings only. The school I started at had two years of nursery in a separate outbuilding before one joined the main primary school at 5. I only spent one year in the nursery school though before starting school proper at 4 (because I could already read).

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