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MALE STAFF AT NURSERIES - MAKES ME FEEL UNEASY.....

161 replies

Lolabelle · 17/02/2007 21:50

I hate to be sexist and i appreciate thats how it would seem but we viewed a nursery today for my DD1 who is 2 and the staff contained two young men (max age 20 if that) and one would be responsible for my DD1. That means nappy changing the works and my husband and i both felt uneasy when we discussed it later. I really, really hate even saying it and they are probably lovely lads but too much goes on this day and sadly yes it usually is by men/lads etc and ...oh i don't know - am i being completely out of order thinking like this???

OP posts:
Lolabelle · 22/02/2007 12:17

I have had some great personal feedback and opinions and my original OP was naive and too short and unexplained. I do understand the knee jerk reaction that my OP has caused but thats why i elaborated and elaborated but i guess when they become this long its hard o read everything and i totally understand that.

Anyway i will go back and focus on the more important aspects of the nursery and i will visit another tomorrow and make a decision then. I have petrified about leaving her in anyone elses care but i think that makes me normal in some ways as i've always done everything myself and don't really have much help with her which is hard but i've become used to it and yes i am a bit of a control freak because of it!!

Friends of mine that i have since spoken to have totally understod and agreed i have to be comfoortable for whatever reason but i did need people to coax me into a rational mindset you are totally right plummymummy and i don't see why it had to be aggressive at times as i have always been well aware my thinking was not pc or rational or even necessarily founded by anything certain. Just much anxiety...

OP posts:
Caligula · 22/02/2007 12:28

Oh ignore the aggression Lolabelle, in the end it doesn't matter about rational considerations, you also have to go with your gut when considering childcare decisions.

I might in a certain frame of mind, not want to leave my child in the care of someone I didn't like the look of, or who wore something I didn't like, or who had a funny haircut. Who cares if that's unreasonable or irrational or irrelevant, when it comes to choosing who looks after your children, you can be as mad as you like and not have to explain it to anyone, imo.

plummymummy · 22/02/2007 14:31

That is also true

twinklebob · 22/02/2007 16:56

hi all, especially lolabelle.
just thought i would add my 2 penneth!
I am a deputy manager in a nursery for 3mth -5 yr olds...last summer we had a vacancy arise for a NN. We had 5 applicants, 1 newly qualified FEMALE, 1 newly qualified MALE ( both 18 ) and 3 30 plus women, who although qualified, it was a while ago. Each one was interviewed, given a 2 hour stint in the nursery to enable us to make a decision. On top of this they were all CRB checked, all had references etc. The 2 that got the jobs were the 18 yrs olds!! The older women didnt get it because their training was not up to date, and anyone knows who works in childcare, even being a mum doesnt always mean that you know how to do everything, (looking after your own kids compared to someone elses is completely different) the young man who joined is has fallen into being one of the team easier than a lot of past girls, he works in an after school facility too and refused to give this up as he as a duty to the children he minds, he works with all the ages in the nursery, and has been welcomed 100% by every child and parent, without exception. When with the babies, he is one of the most gentle and caring NN i have ever worked with, with the 2 - 3's he gets on the floor with them, always at their level, they bandage him and and do his hair if that the activities that they are playing! with the pre-school he is a fantastic role model and teaches through play and experience. When he was at school he was bullied and teased for his job choice, then at college he was the ONLY male doing the course but throughout everything he stuck at it. A qoute from him ' the early years are such an important learning time and i feel privileged that i can be somehow involved in this and help children have fun and be happy' BUT that doesnt make hom any different than any other childcare worker. If you go back to the nursery, forget that there are he's and she's, think more about relevent qualifications and experience (you can ask for this) look at how the children are settled within the nursery, if it is a happy, bright place with contented children and happy relaxed carers there really should be no porblem. On the point about separation anxiety..from parents this is perfectly normal, the child will probably scream and cling to you at first then when you leave they are fine, happy, joining in...then when you pick up they scream and sob and you think they have been doing it all the time when actually, they are making you feel really guilty! And it works, if i could have a quid for every time a parent has picked up their child (who has reacted exactly as above) and they have said Ahh, shall we go to the shop? Just remember, people who go into childcare do it because its a deep seated feeling..we all know how hard it is looking after kids..i should know, i have 3 and my BF has 6, do you think someone would really do that voluntarily if they didnt truly want to?!!!*

Hop our 2nd visit goes well

Caligula · 23/02/2007 19:45

LOL I'm sure everyone who works in childcare will hate me for this, but I'd rather my kids were looked after by a mature person who'd had their own kids than a young person with paper qualifications, on average.

Obviously that's not set in stone once you meet the individuals (and discover that the 33 year old is a raging alcoholic and the 18 year old is a candidate for a Cbeebies presenter she's so marvellous, for example) but just in general, I honestly never care how qualified someone is, I care how much common sense and empathy they have.

NorksBride · 23/02/2007 20:06

I wish we had some young lads working at our pre-school - for childrens benefit not mine! I can never get enough dads to come in and help either.

Children usually lack male role models through Early Years & Primary education because it's so dominated by female staff. I think it's very good for children to learn to get on with all sorts of adults.

mumeeee · 24/02/2007 00:23

Male staff will have been police checked the same as female staff. It is good for children to have both male and female influence.
I have worked with a male nursery nurse he was realy good with the children and they all loved him. None of the parents minded at all and they just accepted him the same as all staff. So yes I do think you are being out of order

ScottishThistle · 24/02/2007 00:27

Caligula, if someone has chosen to do 2yrs at college to become a trained NNEB it's because they love children!

hellywobs · 24/02/2007 17:48

oh goodness - I have just picked a childminder because she works with her husband and I think the male influence for my son once he goes to an all-female staff school is a fantastic idea.

We need more men in childcare and education, not fewer, and the reason we don't have them is because of the unfounded suspicion they are paedophiles. How sad some of you feel that way.

hellywobs · 24/02/2007 17:48

I actually think this sector should be able to positively discrminate in favour of men - we do need more of them in this sector - it's on reason boys become so disaffected.

Caligula · 24/02/2007 17:52

Maybe ST, but I wouldn't guarantee it.

I once knew someone who went into teaching purely and simply because even at that stage (4th year at university) was planning to be a mother (not that she had a DP or anything) and wanted a career she could take time off from and go back to and have school holidays etc.; she had no interest in education per se or kids at all. She did teaching for ten years and then gave up.

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