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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

MALE STAFF AT NURSERIES - MAKES ME FEEL UNEASY.....

161 replies

Lolabelle · 17/02/2007 21:50

I hate to be sexist and i appreciate thats how it would seem but we viewed a nursery today for my DD1 who is 2 and the staff contained two young men (max age 20 if that) and one would be responsible for my DD1. That means nappy changing the works and my husband and i both felt uneasy when we discussed it later. I really, really hate even saying it and they are probably lovely lads but too much goes on this day and sadly yes it usually is by men/lads etc and ...oh i don't know - am i being completely out of order thinking like this???

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 20/02/2007 17:54

Oops, sorry Rhian, didn't mean to spoil your moment there

pinkandsparkly · 20/02/2007 20:14

Naturally anyone who works in childcare is simply too damn thick, lazy and ignorant to be able to work in any other profession and considerations such as JOB SATISFACTION, ENJOYMENT and WANTING TO USE NATURAL ABILITIES AND QUALITIES TO BENEFIT THE LIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN are meaningless.

Dottydot · 20/02/2007 20:16

Oh thank god - some sensible posts - was beginning to think I was all on my own (as usual..!).

piglit · 20/02/2007 20:19

Don't tell anyone but my dh (who is the father of my dc) is A MAN. And he changes loads of nappies.

FFS.

Dottydot · 20/02/2007 20:20

plummymummy · 20/02/2007 20:40

DC as usual I find it hard to identify with your views but if David Cameron worked in my son's nursery I'd remove him like a shot (David - not my son)

plummymummy · 20/02/2007 20:43

lolabelle, glad the posts became a bit more balanced (and sensitive). Nannynick, despite being under scrutiny all the time you come across as objective and balanced and I'm sure you are a great asset to your nursery. Greensleaves, thought your post was very honest and personally identified with some of your experiences.

astronomer · 21/02/2007 09:34

DS had a male carer at his nursery - he was fantastic and had much more common sense then some of the young girls who worked there. I was told he had been the eldest child of a very large family so had looked after children in some form from about five years old.

Wish there were more male nursery nurses and primary teachers unfortunately the pay isn't as good as in the building trade etc

motherinferior · 21/02/2007 13:55

Er...some people like working with small children. They find small children interesting and endlessly rewarding. My younger daughter's (female) childminder says she likes the job because in 30 years it's never been boring. The two blokes I've just interviewed - both run childminding networks, one from a teaching background - like working with small children. DD1's reception/Y1 (male) teacher is clearly getting a huge amount out of his first year teaching (and the nursery kids cry if they find out he's not their reception teacher).

MrsWobble · 21/02/2007 14:18

picking up on pph's point about male midwives I had a male midewife for dd2's ante natal and birth and asked him why he chose midwifery since it seemed an odd career choice for a man. his answer was that he had trained and become a nurse and was offered a place on a midwifery training course when a colleague dropped out. his reasoning was that he preferred college to working on a ward so he would have a better life (and regular hours) whilst training and that he would earn more as a result. both these seemed pretty sound reasons to me - (and nothing to do with the miracle of birth or love of tiny babies).

In fact,he had subsequently gone back to university to do a psychology degree and was only temping as a midwife when I knew him - on the grounds that it was a better paid vac job than either McDonalds or working in a bar.

bundle · 21/02/2007 14:21

depressed by op's attitude and seriously would not want parents like that at our nursery (though we do not have any male carers, more's the pity)

Original poster

Lolabelle · 21/02/2007 14:31

I don't think people are actually listening to my individual posts anymore, think its become a debate on whether or not men should work at nurseries. OF COURSE THEY SHOULD!!!! Please try and listen to what i am actually saying - then again if this debate is not about me and my personal situation anymore reckon i should back out and let it continue...

Find his happens a lot - people get heated about a particular subject but my posts are clearly and deep feelings and fears and anxieties complete personal to my particular situation NOT about whenether or not men should work in a nursery. God its so been misconstrued...

OP posts:

UnquietDad · 21/02/2007 14:34

Yes, of course, men shouldn't be doing sissy jobs like working in nurseries. We're all repressed homosexual paedo nonces. Next thing you know all our kids wil be turning gay. And while we're at it, don't trust a GIRL to be a corporate manager; she'll only let you down when it's her time of the month.

Rhian101 · 21/02/2007 14:43

Oh my God Unquietdad! I hope you've never looked after children!
Sorry! Am terribly hormonal and keep typing things without thinking!
It makes me so angry that people can think like OP

Original poster

Lolabelle · 21/02/2007 14:46

Here we go again...

OP posts:

UnquietDad · 21/02/2007 14:52

sorry, knee-jerk reaction there. I haven't read the whole thread.

robbosmum · 21/02/2007 15:05

oh dear lots of stress,,,,
for whatever reason, this nursery doesnt seem like the place for your child, look at some others and see if you feel the same way, attend the nursery with your child for a bit, good ones will welcome it.

Original poster

Lolabelle · 21/02/2007 15:56

I do understand the knee jerk reaction Unquietdad, it really seems i've been misunderstood thats all...i'm going back tomorrow and having another look, its been a really emotional week all in all and i need a fresh look...

OP posts:

Rhian101 · 21/02/2007 16:24

Lolabelle, I have to say I'm really impressed that you're going to take another look. I'm sorry if you were at all hurt, it is a very emotive subject as I'm sure you've learnt!
Good luck with everything.

Original poster

Lolabelle · 21/02/2007 18:11

Thanks for those kind words, i am going to have another look on the way to another one in my area so i can make a good and clear comparison as to which suits me - or should i say suits my DD. I think i'm a bit hurt at the way in which i was attacked but i was looking for opinions to maybe show me personal experiences positive and negative etc etc and i got those so in a way it was a discussion worth starting. Its made things clearer in my head and maybe i am too protective/paranoid/anxious about DD but its all al earning curve and what with another on the way so soon I have noticed i am becoming increasingly clingy to my DD and scared this new baby will push her out and in turn its made me weepy. I still stand by how it made me feel but I never once was making a judgement on the whole 'should males work in childcare' - it really wasn't as rational as that it was a panic and a deep rooted fear i couldn't explain to anyone so came on here. Problem shared problem halved they say. Not quite sure I believe that now!!

OP posts:

elclose · 21/02/2007 18:30

go back and read your original post

Original poster

Lolabelle · 21/02/2007 19:30

I know what i wrote originally but every post i write should be relevant. I've discussed in alot more detail everything that is going on for me emotionally at the moment - sometimes in defense and sometimes because i've wanted to get everything off my chest.

God this seems so personal.

OP posts:

plummymummy · 21/02/2007 21:47

Oh ffs, do people only read the original post?! Lolabelle, was it only me who realised that this was never about the nursery, but about fears in general? I never for one minute thought you were anti-men in childcare, just that you wanted people to coax you into a rational mindset without being overly judgemental. Did I make the mistake of reading the entire thread Well, I must remember not to do that again

pinkandsparkly · 21/02/2007 22:24

Lolabelle,

When I first read your origional post I did think you seemed to be implying that your dd might not be safe in the care of these nursery nurses on the sole basis that they were men. I did think this was not a rational reaction but I didn't immediately want to comdemn you for it. You later went on to explain yourself further and your reaction then seemed to make a bit more sense, I can totally understand how protective you must feel over your dd, putting your child into the care of others, is scary for anyone and pregancy hormones do not exactly help when trying to be objective. However your op is worded in a way that causes people to react and as a result this thread has produced some strong opinions.

My post was in reaction to the insinuation (not by you) that people who work with young children must only be doing so because they are not capable of doing a 'proper' job. This made me (and others) very angry.

I hope some of the responses on here have helped you to rationalize your thoughts a bit and I'm pleased you are going back for a second look. I feel 'going to nursery' is as much a learning experience for the parents as it is for the child and I really hope you both gain some positive benefit from it.

elclose · 21/02/2007 23:05

i would not comment unless i read the WHOLE thread, hindsight is a great thing

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