Realised this year how much my 19 year old just doesn't know

[davidssdt]

Bit of a random one. My eldest is 19 and it's only this year I've properly clocked how much genuinely useful "adult life" stuff just never gets covered in school - not because teachers don't try, but probably more that there's never actually time carved out for it.
I had to sit down and explain what a mortgage actually is and why an unpaid phone bill can damage your credit file for years, because none of that had ever come up in school. Also had the apprenticeship vs uni conversation recently and realised there's no real structured way for them to weigh that up - it's basically left to them and whoever they last spoke to.
So for full disclosure, I'm actually building something around this (a curriculum site for 16-25s) but not naming it here as I don't want this to read as a plug. I'm genuinely just curious what other parents experience has been around this. What's the thing your teenager had absolutely no clue about until they had to learn the hard way?

That retention point is the whole thing really, one unit with outside speakers is great while it's happening, but if there's no reason to revisit it later it just fades like anything else you cram. That's part of what I'm trying to build, timed closer to when it's actually needed rather than as a one-off unit. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Not sure what you mean, but if it's about the timing, I posted this in the wrong section and MN moved it here after flagging it as research and I made the payment to get peoples feedback.

Fair point on motivation, that's real. Though a lot of the time it's less "can't be bothered" and more not knowing what you don't know yet, so there's nothing pulling you to go and look. Hard to be motivated to research mortgages at 16 when it's years away and abstract. That's really the timing gap I'm trying to close. Here's what I'm building, it should help explain this better www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

I agree parents should be doing a lot of this. Where it gets tricky is a fair few of these topics do need a level of specialist knowledge to explain properly, tenancy law post the Renters Rights Act changes, or auto enrolment pensions, aren't really general knowledge most parents have to hand either. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

David, some thoughts on the name. The majority of comments (though not all) have pushed back on the idea that it’s for school to teach these things.

i think the reason I don’t like the name that much is because it implies a deficit from the school. It implies that something that was supposed to happen hasn’t happened.

Hope that is helpful, and best of luck with it

Really appreciate that, and you've hit on exactly why I think it matters, the families where a parent can explain interest rates confidently aren't the ones who need this most. Here's what I'm building: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

That's actually the exact problem this is trying to solve though, you shouldn't need financial know-how to deliver it. The whole point is a non-specialist teacher can pick up a fully done lesson plan and run it without needing to be an expert first, same idea as how Gatsby did it for careers education. Not asking English teachers to become finance teachers. Here's what I'm building: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

That's a really good point actually, seeing how other families handle money, renting, work stuff naturally through cousins, neighbours, friends' parents used to fill a lot of this in without anyone deciding to teach it. That's mostly gone for a lot of families now, more isolated, less cross pollination between households. Feels like something needs to fill that gap on purpose since it's not really happening by accident anymore. Here's what I'm building: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Lol ok, thanks for your input

That no one listened bit is common and comes up a lot, hard to care about pensions at 14 when it's decades away. Good that DDs sixth form does the routes/costs stuff, that's exactly the kind of thing that lands better because it's actually relevant right then. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

That's the third time you've had a go at this same point, not going to keep re-justifying my parenting for you. If you've got something to say about the actual idea, happy to hear it, otherwise I'll leave it there. Thanks again for your input

I had to show my 11 year old how to put on a belt earlier, and then later on how to take it off. I fear all that 11plus tuition fee may have been a waste.

That's a really good point, and probably explains a lot of the patchiness, even when good stuff exists nearby, getting kids there depends on parent capacity that varies hugely by school. Bank-run workshops are useful too, though worth knowing what's being taught isn't always neutral, some bank content nudges toward their own products. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

That PSHE day honestly sounds brilliant, salary lucky dip through to mortgage calculators and Rightmove is basically the same shape as what I'm building, just as a one off day rather than something that exists year round for when it's actually needed. Good schools clearly are already doing some of this well.
The parent relationship point is a real one too, and gets missed a lot in this thread. Assuming every teenager has a parent who's willing and able to sit down and explain this stuff isn't true for a lot of families, so it can't only be a home job even where parents are capable. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com Thanks for the input, very much appreciated.

That's a big part of why it ends up patchy actually, PSHE isn't inspected by Ofsted the way exam subjects are, so it's the easiest thing to deprioritise when time's tight, not because it matters less. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

I know LifeSkills, it's decent for what it covers. Difference is it's money and employability only, and being bank branded, some schools are a bit wary of content that close to a bank's own products. What I'm building covers renting, work rights, law, decision making too, plus things that have changed properly recently, like this year's overhaul of renting law, that a lot of existing resources haven't caught up on yet. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Are you not embarrassed that you're building a website to cover things like this when you, as a parent have failed to educate your child about these pretty basic things?

My primary aged children know about mortgages, rent, taxes, self-employment, employment, pensions, basics of running a business, marketing, apprenticeships, college courses, universities, savings, investments...the list goes on.

Jeez, I was living independently, away from my family since the age of 16. I'm actually embarrassed for you and your adult child.

Lol this is exactly the kind of thing nobody thinks to explain until you're stood there with an overflowing bin at 3am. Probably the best example in this whole thread of "no one tells you until it bites you in the backside."

Should have named it:

www.stuffIdidn'tbothertoeverdiscussoreducatemyownchildaboutsoI'mblamingschoolsinstead.com

Well, for what it's worth, I have been teaching her plenty along the way, this isn't instead of that, it's something I started building because I kept explaining the same gaps one at a time. On the information being out there, plenty is, the harder part is knowing which bits are reliable and which bits actually matter for your situation. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

My input is that even if it were a good idea you're a poor choice to execute it if you were being honest about your child being clueless at 19.

I and other users of this site don't enjoy people pretending to want to chat when what they want is market research. I see that you have paid now, but only because the site recognised you were lying to nab a freebie.

Ha, good shout, stop cock and fuse box are the sort of thing that only becomes urgent at the worst possible moment. Breakdown cover too, definitely noting both down, this is actually the kind of comment that's most useful out of all of this. Thank you. Here's what I'm building if you want a look: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Jeez, are you for real? Have you seriously never done ANY parenting? Have you never taught your child how to do ANYTHING around the home?

You are shameless OP. @MNHQ look at this guy plugging his website THIRTEEN times on this page alone...

Agree research skills matter, that's not really in dispute. The bigger issue with pointing to MSE, Lloyds Academy etc individually is they're not built as one structured thing, no quiz, no progress tracking, no way to know what you've actually covered versus skipped. That's a genuinely different problem to "does information exist somewhere." On the uninterested teen point, I think that's more about timing than being unreachable, someone who's never thought twice about renting law suddenly cares once they're signing a tenancy. If I can build this right, it's aimed at catching that moment, not competing for attention months or years before it's relevant. Do have a look at www.stuffschooldidntteach.com