Realised this year how much my 19 year old just doesn't know

[davidssdt]

Bit of a random one. My eldest is 19 and it's only this year I've properly clocked how much genuinely useful "adult life" stuff just never gets covered in school - not because teachers don't try, but probably more that there's never actually time carved out for it.
I had to sit down and explain what a mortgage actually is and why an unpaid phone bill can damage your credit file for years, because none of that had ever come up in school. Also had the apprenticeship vs uni conversation recently and realised there's no real structured way for them to weigh that up - it's basically left to them and whoever they last spoke to.
So for full disclosure, I'm actually building something around this (a curriculum site for 16-25s) but not naming it here as I don't want this to read as a plug. I'm genuinely just curious what other parents experience has been around this. What's the thing your teenager had absolutely no clue about until they had to learn the hard way?

Completely agree on careers advice, it's been hollowed out in a lot of schools and apprenticeship vs uni is exactly the kind of decision that needs more than a five minute chat. On the rest being down to parents, I'd just say it's less about whose job it is and more that a lot of it changes constantly (renting law had a full overhaul this year), so even willing parents are often working from outdated info without realising.

I'm not really asking or expecting teachers to do more, that's part of the problem with how this usually gets pitched. A five minute assembly slot squeezed into an already packed day isn't fair on teachers or effective for kids. What actually seems to work (careers education under the Gatsby framework is the best example) is giving non-specialist staff something fully resourced they can just deliver, not something they have to become an expert in on top of everything else. And yes, ultimately it is on us as parents too, this isn't instead of that.

Im nearly 60, aged 18 at school I was asked was is an interest rate, I answered 'how much curiosity something produced '
When everyone stopped laughing at me I was corrected. I spent the lesson completely confused. I had never heard of it. As far as I was concerned credit just meant splitting the cost after all who had the money to pay for a house/car in one go?!
Mortgages were for rich people. The council rent man came round on Mon mornings. Electric bill was paid in the Electric board shop in town. Milk man paid weekly, papershop on a Saturday morning etc. Money was earned, allocated, spent, any left over went into post office savings. That was the total of my financial education. I therefore had little to fall back on when my own DC came along. Add in low wages, top up benefits were the norm for everyone I knew.
My own DC are slightly more savvy as they have had the Internet to help as a resource. 2 have mortgages, pensions building, 1 has worked in financial services so has learnt a lot. 1 with MH issues doesn't and will be screwed in the future ( barely keeps a roof over his head) Ultimately there are the resources now but you need to know what you need to know.
At 18 for me it meant little although it was covered as it was 'for other people ' and not a lived experience. Even now, when I read online its gobbledegook to me.

I totally agree that schools are overloaded, that's actually part of my point. The problem isn't too little content getting added, it's that PSHE has become a dumping ground with no time, training or assessment behind it, so it lands exactly the way your kids describe it: a mess-about lesson no one takes seriously. My kids say the same.
On finding it out "at the relevant time", that's kind of what this is built for, timed for when it's actually relevant rather than years in advance. Not proposing more PSHE, if anything it's the opposite of that model.

Teachers have enough to teach with exams. Parents do have a responsibility too.

There are already a huge number of programmes, syllabus, support organisations covering this material and parents play a part here, as school only partially educates. Many of the schemes are free, as corporately sponsored. The issue is whether the school is using the materials already available or can fit them in to an already crowded curriculum.

Really interesting point about TV actually. When everyone watched the same news and current affairs, you picked stuff up without trying. That's mostly gone now, everyone's on their own phone seeing different things based on their algorithms. So I don't think it's really schools vs self education, it's that the old way people used to just absorb this stuff by accident doesn't really happen anymore. That's kind of the gap I'm trying to fill, something that fills in the basics on purpose since nothing else really does it by accident anymore. Totally agree education doesn't stop when you leave school though, that's on all of us for life really.

How about stuff about marriage and having kids.
Not to encourage them to do it but a lot of teenagers have a set idea that they need to meet someone, move in, wait for the man (in a same sex relationship) to propose, get married with a huge ceremony then have 2 children and the women goes on maternity and then potentially part time.
Info on marriage essentially being a legal contract and how that could protect you but also put your assets at risk. Info on SPL, Impact of maternity leave and going part time on pensions.
Expand their views on families past the usual spiel

Fair comment but I'm not really blaming teachers/schools here. Also, the point isn't whose fault it is, it's that a lot of parents (me included in places) are working full time and passing on whatever they remember rather than anything properly up to date. Student loans are a good example, the terms have changed several times over the years, so what a parent paid back on their own loan can be completely different to what their kid's actually signing up for now.

Info on working or studying abroad. Whats possible after Brexit and what barriers need to be overcome

Not asking teachers to fit more in either, that's usually where this goes wrong when it gets pitched as just an addition to the curriculum. The bigger point is this stuff changes a lot, student loan terms are different for basically every generation, so even a parent doing a great job teaching it can end up passing on info that's gone out of date without realising.

I'd also have appreciated something where you put in an area, choose a size of house, choose how many kids you have and it'll tell you how much average bills are with nursery fees etc.
When I was in my early 20s I had no concept of what a good wage was and what was needed to.lice a certain type of life. If I'd have known it might have encouraged me to choose a particular career

That's awesome of your dad but I'd just push back a bit on it being easy to sort good info from bad though, that's actually a skill in itself, and a lot of adults get caught out by it too, not just teenagers. Someone confidently wrong on TikTok often looks more convincing than something dry and accurate on a gov.uk page. That's less about effort and more about not knowing what a reliable source even looks like yet. My kids know not to trust everything they read on the internet and that's an on going lesson in itself

You're right. I initially posted this in the wrong section, it should have been here from the start, and MN moved it here along with your comments, once I paid. So it's on me for not knowing the rules first time round. I wasn't trying to hide anything.

Mortgages and credit are definitely more read about than something like home ec. The hard part isn't finding the information though, it's knowing which bits actually matter and when. A 19 year old reading about credit scores for the first time the week they're applying for a flat is a bit late to be starting from scratch in my opinion.

I rate MSE highly, but it's money only. This covers renting, work, tax, decision making too, plus stuff that's changed recently even good money resources haven't caught up on. Here's where it's at www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Oh poor thicko renters…

I think most adults know what a mortgage is even if they have never had one.
Thats the point of a life skill. Everyone should know this stuff even they don’t use it

The lack of aspiration comes from lived experience not theoretical knowledge.

Not really arguing it should replace parents teaching this. More that a lot of us are working from whatever we remember rather than anything current, and it changes a fair bit. For what it's worth, financial education's actually been a required part of the curriculum since 2014, it's delivery that's patchy, not lack of intent. Here's what I'm building if you want a look: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Not mansplaining anything, asking direct questions on a board built for exactly that. Some of the pushback's been fair and useful, some of it's just people enjoying being rude to a stranger. Both fine, neither changes much. Thanks for your input

That's exactly it really, this stuff doesn't stop being confusing once you're an adult, it just becomes your own problem to sort out instead of someone else's. No claims bonuses and mortgage switching are both genuinely fiddly even with years of practice. Here's what I'm building if it's useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Good on you both. On ChatGPT, that's actually part of what worries me a bit, it'll give you a confident answer whether it's right for your specific situation or not, and most people won't know enough to spot when it's wrong. Here's what I'm building if it's useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Really appreciate you coming back to this and completely agree on both counts, general PSHE content plus family specific stuff parents fill in makes sense as a combination. The "in one ear, out the other" bit is very real too, timing matters a lot, it lands better when it's actually relevant to them rather than early and abstract. There's a lot of ground to cover as well, money, renting, work, law, decision making, so a structured version helps rather than relying on it coming up naturally. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

Teaching my daughter about mortgages doesn't mean she's fully knowledgeable across insurance, tax, tenancy law and everything else I'm trying to cover. Nobody teaches their kid literally everything solo, that's not a failure, it's just reality. And I'm not really going to justify my parenting on any thread, this is about whether the resource itself is useful, not about auditing my household. Thanks for your input though

Absolutely covered across several modules in the Entrepreneur, Work and Life Setup pillars. Check out the rest of the content here https://www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

@davidssdt in this modern world of false/fake information that's all over the internet and the fact that we (society) are meant to be encouraging teens not to use smart phones - will they be interested in yet another app/website and would they trust it to be correct/truthful information?