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Original poster

Realised this year how much my 19 year old just doesn't know

354 replies

davidssdt · 17/07/2026 10:12

Bit of a random one. My eldest is 19 and it's only this year I've properly clocked how much genuinely useful "adult life" stuff just never gets covered in school - not because teachers don't try, but probably more that there's never actually time carved out for it.
I had to sit down and explain what a mortgage actually is and why an unpaid phone bill can damage your credit file for years, because none of that had ever come up in school. Also had the apprenticeship vs uni conversation recently and realised there's no real structured way for them to weigh that up - it's basically left to them and whoever they last spoke to.
So for full disclosure, I'm actually building something around this (a curriculum site for 16-25s) but not naming it here as I don't want this to read as a plug. I'm genuinely just curious what other parents experience has been around this. What's the thing your teenager had absolutely no clue about until they had to learn the hard way?

OP posts:
Mikool · 18/07/2026 12:36

Notsodisney · 18/07/2026 08:42

What are the qualifications or experience of whoever will be wtiting the info?

I’d be intrigued to know that too. I saw your TikTok/IG content is very ai heavy. If you’re trying to compete with the likes of mse etc you’re going to have to get some good experts in their field

Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 13:34

MildlyMoist · 17/07/2026 20:08

If he’s reached 19 and doesn’t know this stuff then you have failed as a parent. You just need to take responsibility for catching him up, not building an app.

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Ok so do you have any input at all on the actual thing I'm building? Or just on my parenting skills? www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 13:43

Mikool · 18/07/2026 12:36

I’d be intrigued to know that too. I saw your TikTok/IG content is very ai heavy. If you’re trying to compete with the likes of mse etc you’re going to have to get some good experts in their field

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Still early stages atm but the content is being researched from primary sources, gov.uk, official guidance etc, with a financial professional planned to review the Money content specifically before it goes live. I'm not claiming it's all fully expert reviewed yet but majority of it is factual and not opinion based so hard to get wrong tbh. On the AI heavy social media stuff, that was an earlier, different phase that honestly didn't work well, which is actually part of why the approach has changed to this instead.

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 13:53

luckylavender · 17/07/2026 20:10

I’m very confused that you think this stuff is for schools. How do you think they would fit it all in? That’s what parents are for.

It's not just my opinion but the schools have already decided that they should indeed cover this. Financial education has been a required part of the curriculum since 2014. The fact is that they are not covering it well enough or at all in most cases and this is the gap I am trying to fill. And not all parents have the time, skills, confidence or knowledge to cover the broad range of topics I am collating www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 13:55

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 17/07/2026 20:11

I don’t consider any of that school stuff and if my kids reached adulthood without knowing it then that would be on me.

My parents taught me all that stuff over the years.

Well, the schools disagree with you as they already decided that they should indeed cover this. Financial education has been a required part of the curriculum since 2014. The fact is that they are not covering it well enough or at all in most cases and this is the gap I am trying to fill. And not all parents have the time, skills, confidence or knowledge to cover the broad range of ever-changing topics I am collating www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 13:58

BeaPerry · 17/07/2026 20:13

Expecting life skills to be taught in school ???

that is what families are for -

schools cover academics-

yes, I’m aware they do so much more - safeguarding, health, social issues, mental health issues etc etc

don’t plug your business by saying schools should and don’t teach life skills -

that’s lazy marketing

Well, I am going off what the school already accepted as partly their responsibility. Financial education has been a required part of the curriculum since 2014. PHSE and Citizenship in the school curriculum also attempts to cover other life skills. So, it's not just my opinion. The fact is that they are not covering it well enough or at all in most cases and this is the gap I am trying to fill. And not all parents have the time, skills, confidence or knowledge to cover the broad range of topics I am collating www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:00

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 17/07/2026 20:17

To people saying parents should be teaching this stuff - well some of them don't or can’t.

Aren’t those children allowed to learn things your children learn?

Are you gate keeping useful life skills?

Thank you. If you have taught your child every life skill out there then good on you. This app is not for you. But if you are like the majority of families out there maybe this could help.

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:03

DysmalRadius · 17/07/2026 20:21

I've been clear about explaining the contractual aspects of marriage to my kids because I think that comes as a bit of a shock if you aren't aware when you begin to have serious relationships.

ETA I married the boyfriend I had when I was 19, so you should probably make sure your son knows before you embark on your finance product.

Edited

That's a good shout, thank you. I am currently only covering school leaving years but have added this to my notes. PS: it's not a finance product - https://www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:06

seanconneryseyebrow · 17/07/2026 20:34

I’ve always thought they should teach about relationships - what’s healthy, what’s toxic, what’s downright abusive. Healthy Boundaries. Absolutely essential stuff but I didn’t learn that until I was too far gone in an abusive marriage sadly.

That's a good one, thank you. I have made a note. I could have some modules withing Life Setup and/or Decision Making pillars. Check out the other pillars here if interested www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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luckylavender · 18/07/2026 14:10

Badbadbunny · 17/07/2026 19:46

To all those "parents should do it". What about the kids of parents who can't or won't do it? There needs to be a safety net for them or they're going to end up dependent/clueless adults if "life skills" aren't taught in schools. Why do schools teach cooking as surely that's the parent's job too? Personally, I think the school system is no longer fit for purpose and needs some radical modernisation.

Yes but teachers can’t do everything. They are on their knees as it is.

luckylavender · 18/07/2026 14:12

davidssdt · 18/07/2026 13:53

It's not just my opinion but the schools have already decided that they should indeed cover this. Financial education has been a required part of the curriculum since 2014. The fact is that they are not covering it well enough or at all in most cases and this is the gap I am trying to fill. And not all parents have the time, skills, confidence or knowledge to cover the broad range of topics I am collating www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

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Somebody should have taught you that it’s did not

Bloodysauce · 18/07/2026 14:17

Who on this thread has watched Clarksons Farm? Starring Kaleb, skilled, knowledgeable about farming. And little else, and little curiosity unless something directly relates to his very small Oxfordshire world. So his world is expanding thanks to his involvement with the TV show. Had that not happened, he would still be in 'went to London once with the school, didn't like it, stayed on the coach' mode. He is far from dim, but what you don't know, you don't know. And if you haven't felt the lack of knowledge you won't find out. It does nobody on this thread any credit to sneer at others lack of knowledge. Imo, your own parents should have taught you how to put forth a contrary opinion with grace. Otherwise you simply sound like nobody taught you well.

Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:18

TiredShadows · 17/07/2026 20:38

Is what your building aimed at schools, parents, or the 16-25 year olds?

Schools are meant to cover these things, but it's alongside a several mile long list of other life skills that have been pushed in as well. The bloat means little time to given to most of these types of areas unless a particular teacher or head of PSHE or Maths wants to focus on these topics, so it can be a blink/goof off/miss a class and you miss it/forget it quickly sort of issue. With schools, it'll need to be something that fits in the shoestring budget while also somehow saving time that's already used on the topic. There is a reason banks are coming out with free options that schools are passing on - it's edu-marketing, they don't make money from that but what it's meant to lead towards.

I've three kids in this age bracket, and I'm not sure much aimed at parents beyond realistic expectation is going to do much good. At these ages, we shift to being more coaches/advisors, building on the foundation of what we've built before. I've discussed savings and managing money alongside their pocket money and savings accounts, we talked about pensions, when they started working. My kids have all asked for set and not think about it often options like many adults, many don't want to get into the nitty gritty details, they want someone they trust to lay out a few choices - that's why Martin Lewis's website and similar ones work so well. That sort of thing isn't going to work well for those kind of big decisions like apprentice vs uni - there isn't really a structured approach to those kinds of life choices, just a lot of discussion.

There are things they didn't know that caught me off guard, and they were all small things related to other things we did. For example, I ensured all my kids could touch type, I knew it wasn't taught in school, and started teaching it to them from 8 onward. I still ended up with teenagers I had to teach to do what I thought was basic document formatting and other little IT skills, the sort of things I was either taught back when computers were the new cool things in schools or picked up along the way, but they'd never had to figure out because in school they'd always used applications that did it automatically for them. It blew my then-16 year olds mind that she could download emails after I'd recommended she might want to save some from her school account that was going to close after GCSEs. I've since talked to some Computer Science secondary school teachers and they see similar all the time - it's just presumed that use means they know, which looking back is a bit silly. I mean, many of us work with computers regularly and know people who've done so for 20-30+ years who can use the applications they use regularly just fine, but still call over someone to deal with issues in their settings or where to check for updates. Plenty of people get by like that, and our kids are no different.

Firstly, thanks for taking the time to share this. The primary audience is 16-25 year old with a feature that allows parents to gift the app and get optional progress updates. There is also a school track that included a full teacher pack i.e. a complete 50 mins lesson that requires no previous knowledge or experience of the topics.

The curriculum bloat is a real issue and part of the reason I thought this might help. It's not that schools disagree with covering this, it's there's no protected time given the sheer list of things already competing for it. That's actually why this isn't really pitched as add this to the curriculum, it's built so a non-specialist teacher can just run a ready made lesson without extra prep, closer to how careers education solved the same problem.

On banks doing free content as edu-marketing, I've found that some schools are wary of bank branded resources. Different situation here since there's nothing being sold on the back of the content itself, but fair to flag as something to watch for either way.

On your kids wanting set and forget options like MSE gives, that's a fair tension, this leans more toward giving people a framework to decide with on judgement heavy topics, apprenticeship vs uni for example, rather than one simple answer. For more straightforward stuff like credit scores it's closer to what you're describing. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com and thanks again for your constructive input.

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:23

Ilovelifeverymuch · 17/07/2026 20:39

Why is it the teachers job to teach your child about mortgage, u paid phone bills etc? Isn't that your job???

Ah shameless plug for your new product 😂

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Financial education has been part of the school curriculum since 2014. It's not my opinion or suggestion. The phone bill example is actually teaching them about their credit file and the building credit history. Why not at least have a look at the full scope before jumping into incorrect conclusions? www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 18/07/2026 14:26

I have a child in around the middle of your target age group. I think she would find it incredibly patronising if I were to gift her an app teaching her very basic life skills! And she would be deeply unimpressed by the idea of me getting updates on "her progress". She is a competent adult and doesn't really need this kind of approach.

I can't see how this would work for young adults. Older teenagers, maybe.

Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:28

sanityisamyth · 17/07/2026 20:39

This is for parents to teach. Not teachers. They have enough to cover in the national curriculum.

Financial education has been part of that curriculum you mention since 2014. In most schools, it is delivered patchy at best. This is to help them deliver it better. And most parent simply do not have the bandwidth to cover all the topics we have gathered - https://www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:30

RampantIvy · 17/07/2026 20:42

If you don’t come from the kind of family who does {insert random thing} or you’ve simply not been around people {many foster placements} then you won’t know, and you don’t know what you don’t know.

I agree.

Unlike most of the posters on this thread I am aware that there are people leading more difficult lives outside of my comfortable, educated middle class bubble.

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This is exactly the group that gets missed in a lot of these comments. Appreciate you saying this.

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mondaytosunday · 18/07/2026 14:33

Why should schools cover this? Surely it’s the parents job? Though for many people they don’t understand it - you can tell them, but unless it’s relevant to something they are doing right now it doesn’t stick.
But fine if you want to put something together - it would probably be helpful for adults of all ages! Though I suspect it’s already out there and it’s knowing it’s there is the issue, not the information itself.

Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:34

seanconneryseyebrow · 17/07/2026 20:42

And I think it’s a marvellous idea OP but it can go beyond finances for sure. Mental health, relationships, healthy eating/diet etc, housing. For those saying that’s a parents job do people realise how many young people don’t have that support? As a social worker I know so many young adults who really need that extra leg up but don’t get it. It’s why supported living for that age exists and they live in a home which is a type of foster care for 18-25 where they get support to launch into adult life when they don’t have that from their family for whatever reason. How to make a meal how to budget how to find a rental etc etc.

it’s a fab idea and much needed OP.

it would also be good for loving parents who maybe just don’t have the knowledge themselves - eg about uni cos they’ve never been, or how to rent cos they never have or did it moons ago.

Really appreciate this, especially coming from that angle. The supported living point is exactly the sort of thing that shows this isn't really about parents failing but more that there are plenty young adults that don't have anyone in that role at all. Mental health, relationships and housing are already in my plans alongside the finance stuff. And the 'loving but inexperienced parent' point is spot on too, doesn't need bad parenting for a gap to exist, just different life experience. Here's what I'm building if useful: www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 14:56

Gwenhwyfar · 17/07/2026 20:50

These are things that change though. ISAs are different from one year to the next. Not much point learning about pensions at 16.

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These changes are a massive challenge for parents to keep up with whilst trying to cover all of this stuff. We risk giving incorrect or outdated advice. This is one of the gaps I am trying to close with the app. You can check out the pillars here https://www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 15:03

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 17/07/2026 20:54

Ok OP (if you’re still here?) the woman on Instagram is bec_auseyoumatter.

No judgement, just lots of ‘this is how you do this or that’. She’s awesome with her attitude ❤️.

Thank you for coming back to me. I'll check her out tonight.

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 15:13

calflions · 17/07/2026 20:53

It is true that parents do all life admin and much general knowledge acquisition invisibly now.

When I was 10 I could

  • accompany my mum paying cheques in at the bank
  • see her writing accounts in a ledger to balance a budget
  • pick up the daily newspaper every morning at breakfast and see the headlines even if I didn't understand it or was interested
  • see my dad take his bills to the post
  • write off with a postal order or cheque to join something or buy something
  • see a big physical filing cabinet in the back room of the house, with files in, including the quote for the new kitchen, the handbook for the lawnmower, blah blah, insurance policies, mortgage documents. Then as I got older, I had my own file, with a savings book in, a music certificate maybe, later my GCSE certificates...
  • go on holiday with paper travel insurance documents, traveller's cheques or currency, and know we couldn't lose them as they were vital.
  • take photos to Boots, hand in the film, get a ticket, come.back 5 days later. Do not lose the ticket or you have lost your photos.

Even though I didn't know what adults did with everything, I knew that being an adult involved having a set of important paperwork, and there were processes for getting it in order. These were the documents required to get things and do things and you were responsible for managing your own things as a adult. All my life I was exposed to the idea that I would need to keep track of some processes and that if you weren't on top of them, maybe you would lose out.

I didn't know how to do a tax return or what tax was, or how to sign a rental contract, or get the best savings rate or a phone contract, or how to keep my money to a budget- but the idea that there was a process for everything was well embedded. So it was never a surprise to me that I would have to learn the lore of every area.

I think this is the missing bit of cultural capital that children now don't see. There is not enough visible friction and they can't see under the hood of adult life so they have no idea what it involves.

Edited

Sounds like we grew up the same and I totally agree with your conclusion - this is indeed the missing bit of cultural capital that children now don't see. With everything being digital and purposefully built to be frictionless, they really need to search for and learn these life lessons rather than gain the knowledge by osmosis, like we did. This is what I am building if you are interested in seeing it https://www.stuffschooldidntteach.com/

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Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 15:16

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 17/07/2026 20:56

So some of these things OP can include in his app, and some of them he can include links to places.

Eg there is a different woman on Instagram I follow who cooks using mainly tins. Cheap, easily stored ingredients.

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That's a good idea. I'll definitely consider referencing other people/sites for topics I don't cover. Thank you

OP posts:
MildlyMoist · 18/07/2026 15:16

Possibly, but I cost £500 a day on a consultancy basis.

Original poster
davidssdt · 18/07/2026 15:22

Pistachiocake · 17/07/2026 21:01

Schools seem teach much more life stuff, and do more actual parenting than in the past. At my kids' primary, they learn about emotions, looking after their bodies, and teachers support with many things they didn't in our day. The difference is kids don't take in as much in general these days. We watched things our parents did, tended to talk to parents more, so picked up on common sense things. Now, even some bright ones don't. Our grandparents often left school at 16 yet moved straight into jobs and relationships. The world's different. Maybe a focus on families doing things together, and talking to people, would be useful (not for everyone, before anyone says they already do this).

Yes agreed - Less about what's on offer, more about what sticks without daily reinforcement at home. That's the timing gap this is built for. www.stuffschooldidntteach.com

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