15 YO compulsively eating during the night! HELP

[ladybird2024]

I am very worried about my sons weight and health, he has adhd and suspected autism he has been referred.

His sleep is really bad he is awake most of the night and sleeps till 12-1pm he’s been given melatonin but it didn’t work and then he point blank refused to take it anymore because it didn’t help. His eating is getting out of hand, he will cook food when I’m asleep and his siblings are asleep, he will steal all the treats and eat all the food in the cupboards and fridge, I got locks for the fridge and for the treat cupboard and it worked for a while but now he’s some how when I’m asleep finding the key and stealing the food, I’ve woken up this morning and he’s eaten the rest of the pasta from dinner, he eaten a whole bag of sweets and has eaten other things it’s costing me a fortune in food a week as I have to keep topping up, I stopped buying freezer food because he just cooks it in the night when we are asleep, I have spoken to him about this but he just says he’s hungry, he don’t go without and I feel it’s just greed. At his last adhd meds review he was weighed and I was really shocked because he shouldn’t weigh what he weighs at 15 his body is full of stretch marks because of the rapid weight gain and I’m worried about his health. I don’t know what else to do? I’ve spoken to his adhd nurse and she said it’s one of the traits of adhd impulsive tendencies and that his meds should help as they suppress the appetite, thing is as soon as they wear off he binge eats during the night. It’s always the crap foods, I could stop buying them but then it’s not fair on the other siblings as they have to go without.

He also doesn’t go out, so doesn’t get any exercise he don’t have friends he can go out with or anything like that he literally sits in doors all the time, I’ve spoken to him about me and him going to the gym together but he has no intention of doing that and said no and I cannot physically make him. I’ve suggested clubs he could do but he’s not interested in them either. I’m stuck at what to do? Can anyone help me or give me some advice? has anyone else been through this with their child?

Please do not comment if it’s nasty, sarcastic or just not needed as I’m genuinely concerned for my son’s health and don’t know what else to do.

Stop buying the treats. Disconnect the cooker at night. The other siblings don’t need it either. Start making an effort to take him out for exercise. Don’t frame it as exercise - going to the beach for a walk, or to the park for a kick about.

The cooker is electric, I cannot uninstall it and install it, I don’t get many treats if honest I get crisps and 2 packs of biscuits and a pack of chocolate bars. He point blank refuses to come out with us, I’ve tried getting him to come out to the beach, pier, arcades and other fun places but he point blank refuses and I cannot physically make him.

You can turn it off though?

By the big red switch that he knows how to turn back on yeah

At the fuse board?

If you won’t get him moving, won’t stop buying food and won’t remove the means for him to make himself food, what advice do you want?

Have you discussed changing his meds to stop this happening? A physical lock on the kitchen door that you take to bed with you? An alarm on his door/the kitchen door?

You could turn off the cooker at the fuse and not tell him how to turn it back on. Alternatively you could put a lock on the kitchen door (combination one) and not tell him the code. Only lock it at night.

I agree - stop buying the treats. You can make it up to your other kids by buying them an ice cream or bar of chocolate when you're out with them.

2 packs of biscuits, crisps and chocolate bars seems a a lot of treats to me. Especially if that’s what you get weekly. As a PP said, you are just going to have to stop buying them.

I will have to check the fuse board. I have been trying to help the situation, as I put on the original post I have locks on the cupboard and fridge but he is getting in them.

Lock the kitchen. Use a combination you don’t tell him or take the key to bed with you

Maybe I should stop buying that then. I have 4 children so that’s why I get that many treats I get the 6 pack of crisps.

I have a combination lock on the box inside the fridge, a lock on the fridge with a key and a cupboard that is locked by a key.

How is he getting in locked cupboards?
I assume he is on school holidays. What’s he like during school term?

This is true.

I think he’s stealing the key when I’m asleep. He is home tutored three times a week. He doesn’t go to any school due to his additional needs.

I don’t have any advice other than to keep a massive fruit bowl out that he knows he can have in the night.

sounds really tough, OP.

It is, I will just not buy the treats that’s fine but he will eat other things. I buy lots of fruit also but he never goes for that (which I get because he’s a teen)

Respectfully, this is addressing the symptoms, and not the cause.
Could you try changing the food eats so that there's much more slow release carbohydrate with a lower glycemic index, and increase the amount of protein?
Reducing the amount of sugar he's eating will reduce the risk of Hunger pangs.
Also try and ensure he's very well hydrated as this can manifest as hunger.
Maybe worth some therapy to find out what the underlying reason is.
Good luck.

A lot of this behaviour will be because he’s ND and sensory seeking with food - all the advice about changing his diet etc. is well meaning but unlikely to actually make any difference. When people sensory seek with food it’s not because they’re hungry it’s because it’s a way to regulate their nervous systems and calm them down. It’s also probably why he won’t eat the fruit.

Can you put the key under your pillow or on a necklace around your neck?

I buy bottles of water and he is always drinking them so he is definitely hydrated. I will speak to his ADHD nurse again about this because it is becoming a concern due to the amount of weight he has gained in the last year and half.

Teens eat masses of fruit though?
If you are of the mentality that teens only eat crap then your son will think that way too.
We don't buy any chocolate, crisps etc but our teens are always chomping away on apples. It's probably not ideal but it's better than processed, salty junk.

I was thinking it’s a sensory thing. Maybe if I cut out the treats and stuff and buy more fruit though he will just eat that because he is ‘hungry’ it’s a healthier option if he eats.

It’s not mentality a lot of teens would pick a chocolate bar or a biscuit over some strawberries or an apple. So maybe if I take away that option as such he will just eat the fruit which is better for him.

Is he on ADHD meds op?