15 YO compulsively eating during the night! HELP

[ladybird2024]

I am very worried about my sons weight and health, he has adhd and suspected autism he has been referred.

His sleep is really bad he is awake most of the night and sleeps till 12-1pm he’s been given melatonin but it didn’t work and then he point blank refused to take it anymore because it didn’t help. His eating is getting out of hand, he will cook food when I’m asleep and his siblings are asleep, he will steal all the treats and eat all the food in the cupboards and fridge, I got locks for the fridge and for the treat cupboard and it worked for a while but now he’s some how when I’m asleep finding the key and stealing the food, I’ve woken up this morning and he’s eaten the rest of the pasta from dinner, he eaten a whole bag of sweets and has eaten other things it’s costing me a fortune in food a week as I have to keep topping up, I stopped buying freezer food because he just cooks it in the night when we are asleep, I have spoken to him about this but he just says he’s hungry, he don’t go without and I feel it’s just greed. At his last adhd meds review he was weighed and I was really shocked because he shouldn’t weigh what he weighs at 15 his body is full of stretch marks because of the rapid weight gain and I’m worried about his health. I don’t know what else to do? I’ve spoken to his adhd nurse and she said it’s one of the traits of adhd impulsive tendencies and that his meds should help as they suppress the appetite, thing is as soon as they wear off he binge eats during the night. It’s always the crap foods, I could stop buying them but then it’s not fair on the other siblings as they have to go without.

He also doesn’t go out, so doesn’t get any exercise he don’t have friends he can go out with or anything like that he literally sits in doors all the time, I’ve spoken to him about me and him going to the gym together but he has no intention of doing that and said no and I cannot physically make him. I’ve suggested clubs he could do but he’s not interested in them either. I’m stuck at what to do? Can anyone help me or give me some advice? has anyone else been through this with their child?

Please do not comment if it’s nasty, sarcastic or just not needed as I’m genuinely concerned for my son’s health and don’t know what else to do.

I would suggest you need a routine that ensures he takes his medication at the most beneficial time of day. I mentioned before that my son has a condition where he can overeat and we have had to adjust massively. I would have a locked food cupboard and keep very basics in the fridge so you more or less eat-up everyday. As a result we never needed to lock the fridge and as you have found out fridge locks are rubbish. How did he lose his SEN school place? The local authority need to be doing more. The 'tutor' offer sounds really vague. He needs structure and appropriate activities that get him out of the house. At 15 he needs education.

Oh blimey
put an alarm on it x

It does make you wonder if the medication is fit for purpose. If it produces side effects that are so extreme.
I put on two stone once when given one medication. When I mentioned it to the consultant he said ‘at least it wasn’t five stone’. Dreadful.
Go back to the GP they must know the impact of what is happening.

He wasn’t getting on there so they opted for a home tutor, she tries to get him out and about but he will get angry and say no and point blank refuse, my son is a very complicated child, I cannot make him do anything he don’t want too, he will just refuse and doesn’t care. I have spoken to him about his weight and his eating habits and again he don’t care he’s not bothered. It’s a very stressful situation for me because I literally have no idea what else I can do, if he don’t go out and socialise and he doesn’t want to join in family time I cannot force him. He can be very aggressive and threatening too which doesn’t help, I am extremely tired and worn down by it all if I’m honest.

I can just about get him to his appointments even that’s a ballache because he will point blank refuse and say it’s all pointless and a waste of time. He doesn’t see the effect all of this has on me. I’ve extremely exhausted.

No I won’t be putting an alarm on it, will wake my other children up and then that’s a whole different ball game. I need my sleep also to be able to function during the day.

Don’t take him. Go yourself and talk to the doctor.

I agree with the suggestion of upping the protein.
However, I had 2 sons who would be able to and did break into boxes locked with a combination lock, they saw it as a fun challenge, whilst I was tearing my hair out!
I wish I had something helpful to add, both of them ( now in their early thirties) have always struggled with their weight. One of them seems to have got on top of it recently, the other remains very overweight. I found it all very difficult, whilst not wanting to make weight and eating the main topic of conversation, not wanting to 'fat shame', not wanting to make them more self -conscious than they already were. Locked food cupboards were never a thing that I felt comfortable with, but I did have to provide packed lunches for them and their younger sibling. Fruit was always available as were things like carrot sticks, but it didn't seem to make a difference, they would still make pasta in the middle of the night. Or burgers or sandwiches.
I did get one of them to do martial arts as a teen, we tried things like tennis as a family, they had bikes, but the heavier they got the less they wanted to exercise.
I think with hindsight, the main thing I would have done was being stricter on turning off the internet overnight so that there was nothing to stay awake for, in terms of gaming. The sleep issues just feed into the eating issues, so deal with that, if you can. But it is very hard to make a 15 year old do anything they don't want to. Being grounded and cutting funds doesn't have an impact if they don't go out anyway, and youhave to find a way of being able to live together.

I can understand you are tired but if you don't take control of the situation then nothing will improve and he will soon be 18 when your ability to influence the situation will diminish (the world will consider him an adult). I would start with the night eating - lots of good ideas on here. I would go the GP and ask for help (for you as well as him). I would go back to the school - the tutor is clearly not working, he is in crisis and you need an review in the remaining 7 weeks of term. He needs more help and I am afraid you need to push to get it.