15 YO compulsively eating during the night! HELP

[ladybird2024]

I am very worried about my sons weight and health, he has adhd and suspected autism he has been referred.

His sleep is really bad he is awake most of the night and sleeps till 12-1pm he’s been given melatonin but it didn’t work and then he point blank refused to take it anymore because it didn’t help. His eating is getting out of hand, he will cook food when I’m asleep and his siblings are asleep, he will steal all the treats and eat all the food in the cupboards and fridge, I got locks for the fridge and for the treat cupboard and it worked for a while but now he’s some how when I’m asleep finding the key and stealing the food, I’ve woken up this morning and he’s eaten the rest of the pasta from dinner, he eaten a whole bag of sweets and has eaten other things it’s costing me a fortune in food a week as I have to keep topping up, I stopped buying freezer food because he just cooks it in the night when we are asleep, I have spoken to him about this but he just says he’s hungry, he don’t go without and I feel it’s just greed. At his last adhd meds review he was weighed and I was really shocked because he shouldn’t weigh what he weighs at 15 his body is full of stretch marks because of the rapid weight gain and I’m worried about his health. I don’t know what else to do? I’ve spoken to his adhd nurse and she said it’s one of the traits of adhd impulsive tendencies and that his meds should help as they suppress the appetite, thing is as soon as they wear off he binge eats during the night. It’s always the crap foods, I could stop buying them but then it’s not fair on the other siblings as they have to go without.

He also doesn’t go out, so doesn’t get any exercise he don’t have friends he can go out with or anything like that he literally sits in doors all the time, I’ve spoken to him about me and him going to the gym together but he has no intention of doing that and said no and I cannot physically make him. I’ve suggested clubs he could do but he’s not interested in them either. I’m stuck at what to do? Can anyone help me or give me some advice? has anyone else been through this with their child?

Please do not comment if it’s nasty, sarcastic or just not needed as I’m genuinely concerned for my son’s health and don’t know what else to do.

Could hide the treats in your room at night. Or give him some money to buy his own, once it’s gone it’s gone till the following week.

Could make him something like a pasta salad each evening, it’s quite filling and it’s healthy. Your going to have to mention his weight to him op especially if hes getting stretch marks.

You need to talk to the doctor. Don't know if the ADHD nurse can prescribe medication (I think some nurses can, some can't) but you need proper medical advice on the medication, sleep and binge eating, preferably from a child psychiatrist.

Could you find him something else to do that he enjoys? Video games, Lego, puzzles? He’s seeking a dopamine hit that snacking is giving him. I have adhd and I have times (normally when I’m stressed at work or hormonal) where I just want to binge eat and it’s my brain seeking out a hit of dopamine. Replacing it with a video game (pokopia currently) lets me hyperfocus on that, which curbs my ADHD gremlin and I forget about the snacks.

My son has a compulsive eating disorder which I know is different to your son and is also more extreme. However I was looking at your posts and thinking that if you are concerned about him and his health you need to step up.
Stop buying treats (your other children will cope). You said you don't buy many - I would disagree.
He steals the key - take it with you, under your pillow at night.
Stop the night cooking - my son can be desperate for food but he doesn't cook/eat at night
and yes, take him to the GP but also do practial things which are in your power too.

My son was similar. He is diagnosed adhd we tried everything until we got to the point we just had to stop buying all sweet things. He got used to it, and to be honest we all probably benefitted. We go on Saturdays now to the shops and they all choose a treat. It’s enjoyed and when it’s gone it’s gone! It was the only way and it worked.

I had this problem with my AuDHD son. Medication stopped it fortunately. Occasionally he will binge eat but it’s usually an emotional comfort thing. I haven’t read the full thread but if he’s not medicated, that is something to consider. My son takes Elvanse and it’s been transformative. He was also very very overweight and it’s gone. His habits are much healthier now.

I'm going through this exact same issue
All completely identical to you ,op , except no ADHD meds to help.
Son is 16 ,I'm totally lost as to how else to help him ,I'm going to read through all the advice on your thread in the hope it might help me .
I started a while back , trying to reduce portions at meal times ,and only buying already portions out snacks ,I deliberately don't buy what he likes snack wise,and I buy him mango and blueberries and raspberries as that's what he likes ..I stopped the smoothies and he never gets chocolate or sweets and I hid the crisps in different places ,so I can give him a packet every now and again with a sandwich ..but then he comes down a couple of hours after dinner and makes toast or gets cereal
We bought an exercise bike and a rowing machine for the family to use ..he does use the bike ,but won't row .
I've tried to get him to come swimming as I go every day ,and I've offered to join the gym together.
But I feel my efforts are wasted when I see him getting food of an evening or late at night.
He's nearly 17 and has an EHCP where his lessons are at home .
I'm literally just praying he grows taller to try and even things out

@ladybird2024
This sounds really difficult and stressful.
I think that putting a lock on the kitchen door is the first step so he can’t get in and hopefully the ADHD nurses can offer some advice.
i was going to ask how he was when he was in school but see you’ve said about home schooling. How is he with food if you go out/ have people over?

@ladybird2024
Does he have an EHCP? I think you said he is home schooled? My son desperately needs occupation and I wonder if going forward your son would benefit from post sixteen provision which can be more tailored. Get him out of the house. Sorry if my previous post sounded a bit blunt - its from years of having to lock away food, cut out snacks and so on. I hope things improve.

I would really try to get him on a normal sleep schedule. Since he's awake most of the night but then sleeping all morning until 12:00 or 1:00 p.m., he clearly does need sleep, so it would be a matter of adjusting when he sleeps. I would also question whether a tutor three times a week is adequate in terms of his education. The binge eating at night is obviously fulfilling a need for him, possibly either sensory or emotional. But his entire schedule seems unhealthy, both physically and psychologically. If his time were occupied more productively, he might be less inclined to seek the dopamine hit of binge eating.

I assume that you are at work all day and he is home alone. That makes supervising his activities (including his eating) more difficult, of course. But I would certainly limit his access to any device connected to the internet. He sounds isolated already, and smartphones or gaming can encourage some teens to hole up in their houses and avoid interacting with the world. Good luck, it sounds like a very difficult situation.

Bit rude.

Some 15 year olds are smart enough to know how to switch a cooker back on.

Taking the devices in his room and putting in the communal area will likely help. Remove the controllers after 10pm

It’s awful isn’t it? You try and stop the situation becoming out of control but there is only so much you can do, I’ve tried to get him to come gym with me, to start a club or getting to something sporty he’s just not at all interested, he won’t come out as a family with me and his siblings, doesn’t go out as doesn’t have friends, I’ve turned the internet off at night time incase its screens that’s keeping him awake but it’s not he’s still not able to sleep, I just feel useless because I don’t know what else I can do to stop this binge eating during the night because that’s when it’s bad as I am asleep and cannot keep an eye on what he’s eating and doing but I cannot be awake all night. I’m hoping my son will grow out of this binge eating when he’s a bit older and will worry himself about his health.

I don’t buy that many treats to be fair and I have been locking the cupboard and taking the key upstairs, I have stepped up by putting things in place the key locks, locks etc for the fridge and cupboard. He don’t cook anymore at night because I stopped buying freezer foods too as he was cooking when I was asleep, how could I off stopped that when I’m asleep? I will speak to the ADHD nurse and a doctor about his sleeping and his weight.

Yes he has an EHCP in a recent meeting with the SEN board he will be having a one to one tutor who will also be talking to him about life skills, so hygiene, going out more, exercising and stuff like that. At the moment he’s very behind education wise as he lost a lot of time being stuck in a mainstream school and just constantly being suspended and they didn’t have the staff, training and resources for his additional needs and was really struggling, the educational system failed him, since being home schooled he’s finally getting somewhere. It’s been an extremely difficult 6 years ☹️

I have adhd and I get absolutely starving at night and can't relax until i eat. I agree to remove snacks but maybe replace with healthier options, snackajacks, dried fruit and nuts, weetabix is pretty filling but not unhealthy. It's hard to stick to healthy food but you do get used to it

Put the key on a chain round your neck.

Well, if he’s on ADHD medication, that could easily explain the insomnia. If I were awake all night, under-stimulated during the day, and had no real outlet or structure, I’d probably end up eating out of boredom or restlessness too.
What he likely needs isn’t just more restriction around food, but better balance overall: a sport, a hobby, some kind of community, regular stimulation during the day, and proper treatment for the medication-induced insomnia - including additional medication if necessary.

Would it be an option to dramatically reduce the carbs available in the house, for a month or so, and have more proteins available as snacks - cooked chicken, sliced meats, boiled eggs, chopped veg (carrots, cherry tomatoes) and fruit like apples.

It’s food that requires more effort to eat, so is harder to overeat. Carbs, particularly white carbs and upfs set up craving cycles that are very hard to manage. You can easily keep eating crisps long after you’re tired of them, never mind full, but it’s much harder to keep eating chicken.

Can I just say ..how much braver you are than me ..I've wanted to post about this for some time ,but I was worried what people would say ...you were so much braver than me posting.
It is very hard ,and I'm worried for his health
And I've no idea what I did wrong with him ,but my older 3 adult DC are like beanpoles..
He is diagnosed with autism same as me ,and he was meant to assessed for ADHD with CAMHs ,as I have that and I'm on ritalin ..but it was absolute hell trying to get him to CAMHS appointments ,so we got discharged because they said it wasn't safe the drive there ...plus he wasn't engaging with them
I'm trying gently,to talk about ADHD with him ..but he's not really accepted his autism diagnosis, despite having it over 10 years ...
I've been trying to explain how I feel,and how for me ,I only realised recently that anxiety and hunger feel exactly the same ,I can't tell the difference between them
So I'm wondering if he feels the same ,and he's eating, thinking he's hungry,when it's anxiety... because I've been making him porridge,with one single serve packet and plenty of chopped fruit in it ,for breakfast..then by 11 am hes saying he's hungry..and I'm trying to gently say ,you can't be .
His older brother is 6 foot 4 ...and thin as a rake ,so I'm hoping he's got more growing to do ..as he's 5 foot 9 currently..so Im trying so hard to cut him down ,but without making it obvious..it's a fine line ,and I'm not sure I'm on the right track
Have you got an exercise bike he could use at home ?
Mine does go on this .
Two of my older ones run marathons, and one is doing a triathlon
They travel all over to run and are obsessed with collecting the medals.
I might buy him some running trainers and see if he will try couch to 25

Lock on the kitchen door or combination lock. Leave a bowl of fruit outside - things like bananas and lower glycemic index fruit or a snack. Or leave a wrapped sandwich in a cold bag. Once the right combination of meds is taken, hopefully he’ll sleep better.

When he’s at home in the day, and won’t go out what does he do?

Would changing the timing of meds help? Or asking the dr for alternative meds to help with sleep?

Poor kid, he must be miserable. No friends, no school, no hobbies, no movement.

Is he getting support for his mental or social health?

Cause of eating may be ADHD, may be part eating disorder comfort eating.