15 YO compulsively eating during the night! HELP

[ladybird2024]

I am very worried about my sons weight and health, he has adhd and suspected autism he has been referred.

His sleep is really bad he is awake most of the night and sleeps till 12-1pm he’s been given melatonin but it didn’t work and then he point blank refused to take it anymore because it didn’t help. His eating is getting out of hand, he will cook food when I’m asleep and his siblings are asleep, he will steal all the treats and eat all the food in the cupboards and fridge, I got locks for the fridge and for the treat cupboard and it worked for a while but now he’s some how when I’m asleep finding the key and stealing the food, I’ve woken up this morning and he’s eaten the rest of the pasta from dinner, he eaten a whole bag of sweets and has eaten other things it’s costing me a fortune in food a week as I have to keep topping up, I stopped buying freezer food because he just cooks it in the night when we are asleep, I have spoken to him about this but he just says he’s hungry, he don’t go without and I feel it’s just greed. At his last adhd meds review he was weighed and I was really shocked because he shouldn’t weigh what he weighs at 15 his body is full of stretch marks because of the rapid weight gain and I’m worried about his health. I don’t know what else to do? I’ve spoken to his adhd nurse and she said it’s one of the traits of adhd impulsive tendencies and that his meds should help as they suppress the appetite, thing is as soon as they wear off he binge eats during the night. It’s always the crap foods, I could stop buying them but then it’s not fair on the other siblings as they have to go without.

He also doesn’t go out, so doesn’t get any exercise he don’t have friends he can go out with or anything like that he literally sits in doors all the time, I’ve spoken to him about me and him going to the gym together but he has no intention of doing that and said no and I cannot physically make him. I’ve suggested clubs he could do but he’s not interested in them either. I’m stuck at what to do? Can anyone help me or give me some advice? has anyone else been through this with their child?

Please do not comment if it’s nasty, sarcastic or just not needed as I’m genuinely concerned for my son’s health and don’t know what else to do.

Yeah, they are slow release ones for 12 hours. It suppresses his appetite but straight after he will just binge. It’s also at night time which is the worst time to do that. 😬

If he’s anything like me I doubt it 🤣

You could try healthier versions though - so if he likes crunchy and savoury stuff then go for baked crisps or veggie or lentil ones, if he likes sweet and chewy try homemade flapjacks.

I very rarely eat fruit as the texture is too unpredictable and if I don’t like it, I’ll gag and not be able to eat another mouthful lol.

If he’s neurodivergent then he may never want to touch fruit due to the texture - it’s really not as simple as “just get rid of the junk”.

Get a lock put on the kitchen door and take key to bed with you as PP said put it under your pillow. My 2 DS's had ADHD so I know what it's like. I used to give my ds's a hearty pasta meal for dinner with protein like salmon to keep hunger pangs at bay. Rationing the crisps and sweets won't hurt any of the DC. I'd buy less enough for 1 bag of crisps each. Id go back to GP about sleep routine though.

Has he had his pubertal growth spurt yet?

This may be genuine extreme hunger along with what you have identified - his ADHD meds wearing off and having a real surge of what he perceives as hunger at this time - this will be very real to him.

This might not be a quick fix - it is normal for children with chronic illnesses and I would include ADHD in this to struggle through puberty - it throws the body into chaos and it can sometimes take time for things to balance out.

Keep going back to the ADHD nurse/go to your GP - keep asking for advice/help.

Talk to him. He won't be blind to what is happening, but his brain and body are telling him he needs to eat - you might find other ways of controlling that 'hunger' - but at night there are fewer distractions so it is genuinely harder.

Does he have any strategies to help him delay gratification, timers to wait for 5 minutes to see if the urge passes, chew toys, chewing gum.

If he really does need to curbe that urge to chew/chomp (and I really recognise that) then it's about working with him to find things that he can use for this that are minimally damaging - high protein/high volume foods - the body is likely urging him to go to 'quick fix' sugary snacks because it provides it with what it wants quickly, but it's trying to find something that might fill him stomach and switch off the signals with minimal harm.

It's really hard though - and cooking at night would drive me nuts, as would waking up to find we're out of food, but it's about finding strategies to deal with the real urges/physical sensations that he is experiencing.

@ladybird2024 I feel for you op. I was hoping you would say he wasn’t on them for whatever reason. My friend has the exact same issue with her 15 year old DS and she is tearing her hair out too. The lock boxes have worked up to a point but you can’t fit everything in them can you.

I am no expert but do we know 100% that it’s a sensory thing or could it be a deeper routed issue that some sort of therapy for?

Can you and him together makes some
meals and leave them in the fridge so when he is very hungry as per his adhd meds then he has something he can openly and easily access

or have some food in his room for this - depending on what he needs - my daughter craved protein.

i would try to reframe this away from secret snacking etc and simply he is very hungry as his appetite suppression has worn off and help him make healthy choices for when that is - usually late at night

also maybe encourage him to take his meds earlier aim
for 7/8 am to help bring forward the hunger to later evening and you can be there for him maybe sit while he eats and help him normalise and manage his hunger

Ignore the suggestion to turn the cooker off!
I think you should go back to his adhd doctor for advice. Perhaps needs a higher dose

I think you'd get much more helpful responses if you posted this in SEN parenting. It's very obvious that a lot of people replying have no idea what it's like to parent a neurodivergent child. If he is not able to attend school he is significantly affected and it's not a matter of "just" doing xyz.

You said that he has slow release meds that suppress appetite - I would request an urgent call or appointment with the doctor who prescribed the medication to discuss making a change, whether that's changing the timing, type or dose. I'd consider the cost/benefit of the medication - I assume he takes it for a reason but uncontrollable binge eating at night could be more damaging than the other symptoms he experiences when unmedicated.

I think you need to stop suppressing his appetite during the day and feed him as well as you can. Breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner. I have an autistic child and another who i think is neurotypical but is a very fussy eater, so for us it's hard to get them to eat a varied and healthy diet. This might be the same for you, in which case I would try not to stress about the perfect diet, just make it as nutritious as you can, and give him foods that he likes and enjoys. Once you've got him back into the routine of eating during the day only and not at night, you can make improvements to his actual diet if you want.

I hope you are both getting some support because the whole situation sounds very difficult for you both.

Can you start making protein smoothies - even chocolate protein will give the dopamine hit and fill him as its protein…

Also a combination lock so he can’t take the key - but if he’s needing a dopamine hoot at night I’d say his medication needs to be reviewed to a slow release or twice a day?

The other kids don’t need crap foods either. Once a week as a treat is fine. Stop buying the crap.

@ladybird2024

The link between ADHD and both BED (binge eating disorder) and bedtime sleep difficulties is highly common and well-documented, this sounds exactly what you're describing about your son.

I've linked below some sites which hopefully may be useful for you to read through initially, and then possibly address with your son.

here, here and here

Good luck @ladybird2024 there are solutions for your son and your family 🌸

eta; it may also be worth a conversation with his ADHD nurse to explore if shifting the timing of his meds could alleviate some of the problem.

Could you discuss splitting the dose of his meds so he takes some in the morning and some at night and doesn’t feel the massive drop off in their effects?

I hope I won’t get criticised for this but have you asked ChatGPT for suggestions?
I asked how to suppress eating urges for a 15 year old ADHD person (and you can be much more specific eg add physical exercise that might be helpful, etc.).
It gave me a list of suggestions too long to add here. Some may be helpful to you but you will have to be selective as to what might work in your situation.
I wish you all the best.

You say he doesn't do activities and sits at home all day - what does he do all day? I think it may be worth removing devices and gaming/screens which will hugely help with his sleep.

did you miss this bit?

"he has adhd and suspected autism"

I was going to suggest this but didn’t for fear of getting flamed - but seeing as you have .. yes Op it’s amazing for solutions to all manner of this type of problem I find.

Can I ask what meals he is eating during the day/ evening since he is sleeping really late?

Could it be the timing of his meals that is part of the problem?

Could he have a large meal at 10 pm, for example? If someone goes to bed at 10-12 then an evening meal at 6 means they go to bed a few hours later. If someone stays up all night, then switching the timing of their meals to match their sleep makes sense.

OP can still parent if she chooses to.

I will be ringing his adhd nurse and asking if there is something else that can be given for his sleeping, I will also tell her my concerns about his eating too. I’m going to not buy the snacks and treats anymore and see if that helps because then he won’t be able to eat during the night, when he wakes at 12-1pm he will eat cereal, then he will have a snack a couple hours later and then I’ll do dinner and after dinner he will have something a while after dinner, what I’m struggling with his his binge eating during the night when he cannot sleep, I’ve tried locking cupboards and the fridge, nothing is working and it’s worrying me because it’s his health that’s at risk here. I don’t want to say anything about his weight too him as I don’t want him to feel shit about it so I’ve tried doing things discreetly so when I do him his dinners I’ll add more veggies, I’ve been doing more salads and healthier options too. I always feed my children well in regards to veggies and fruit always being in my shopping. I’m just stuck at what to do next.

Is he eating enough in the day, OP? I would increase his day time meal sizes and encourage him to eat a big (protein-based) breakfast before he takes his ADHD meds. Agree also with pp comments about slow release carbs too.

Oh ffs 🤦‍♀️ people saying that’s a lot of treats for a week will you give over ! We have plenty of treats in our house and I hide them from my lot of else they’d be gone in a couple of days . Op I’d prob try put a lock on the kitchen door. You might find he will take items before it’s locked though and store them upstairs. I feel for you . I can’t keep my lot fed it’s like they have hollow legs

You do know that people with ADHD and Autism aren't bedbound, right?

I think it's worth getting to the root cause of why he isn't sleeping at night... Lack of exercise, over stimulation from devices etc.. this could be driving his lack of sleep which is resulting in him eating out of boredom rather than hunger. Remove all devices and have him establish a routine without them. I say this as my niece has a device addiction and has ADHD & Autism. It's hard work but just a day without her phone and playstation made a HUGE difference to her activity levels and sleep.

I do agree with the other steps PPs have mentioned, no junk food in the house, lock the cupboard/fridge where possible.

OP how much does he weigh and what is his height? Has Prader-Willi been ruled out?