I gave up the school run and I feel Amazing but MIL thinks I’m lazy

[Feelsomuchbetter]

I have ASD and ADHD . I struggle a lot. The school run has been hell for me. Dh drives past the school on his way to work so 3 months ago I asked him to please take the dc instead of me doing it. He was previously leaving 10 mins before we had to now he drops dc at breakfast club a bit earlier.

I feel SO much better. I’ve been able to wean myself off AD and I’m not mentally ruined by 9 am . MIL has been saying it’s not fair on dh !!!! That he should have a calm drive to work not stopping off at all ?? Dh is fine to do it he doesn’t mind, hasn’t complained .

No, we pay for it as all our money - wages, UC, PIP and CB goes into our joint account.

If the children go to breakfast club and after school club then I can't understand why you have a problem? After all the playground won't be busy then as only the parents that drop off for these clubs will be around and to be honest you don't see that many of them around. If you are home all day it is unfair to expect your partner to do the school runs when he is working.

This is so ignorant and nasty. You have no idea what you’re talking about or what she has to deal with

It’s worth it as it means that I feel so much better, I’m able to function well and I can see a future where I can get back to work. It’s worth every penny.

Genuine question to those who find the school run a struggle: what is it that you find difficult about the task? I’m not trying to be facetious, I am curious about what elements of the school run could bring someone to the brink of a breakdown.

7 and 9

This probably wont be a popular opinion and obviously not one your DH shares, but if my partner hadn't worked in three years and then told me they couldn't cope with doing the school run, I would be out the door pretty fast.

I wouldn't like to be with someone so dependent on me, and if my son told me this was his situation I would not like it (although I wouldn't call you lazy, I think that's the wrong word).

Well I won’t be working in a school that’s for sure !

seriously though , I would hope that my volunteer role at hospital could become a paid role as they often have vacancies for healthcare support workers .

I'm not the OP but I find the school run difficult too. It's sensory overload (I wear sunglasses) and the social aspect is stressful. I'm not autistic (just ADHD) but I can completely understand how someone with Autism would find it even harder than I do.

It isn’t £24 a day. Also soon I think breakfast clubs will be free for all children ?

Planet Earth where I find my volunteer role absolutely fine and not stressful at all.

Correct

@TwinklyGreyLion you seem to be putting a lot of effort into bringing down the OP. Why? Are you like this to people with other disabilities? Or do you only do it from behind your keyboard?

I try never to make comment until I've walked in someone's shoes.

All of you who are judging, do you have ADHD/ASD? I have ADHD though the school run wasn't one of my triggers. From the outside I seem like a together professional human being. But I'm not. I live in constant fear of people finding out I can't tidy up/bring myself to go to the doctor/order my repeat prescription/keep my bedroom in any kind of order.

My mil judges me (luckily she no longer speaks to me) because I can't do housework. I don't judge her for the many things I can do and she can't - speak French, play the piano well, sew,manage a classroom of very challenging children, unblock the sink, spell, change a tyre...

OP, if you're feeling much better, that's great. Do what works for your family.