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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Rejection post adult diagnosis

27 replies

TheSecondMrsMoorcroft · 20/09/2022 11:28

I’m 5yrs post diagnosis. After asking for husband/family help (they’ve never acknowledged my differences) my husband has asked for a divorce.

I feel so rejected. I’m losing everything because I’m not acceptable as I am. I’m a terrific masker but finally, it comes to this because I’ve asked for help/allowances going forward.

Feeling very very low.

OP posts:
TheSecondMrsMoorcroft · 13/10/2022 17:49

Hi @Clarice99 I’m seeing GP next week but I’m not in any position to go anywhere without DS, the old family cat and dog. Our routines (mine and son’s) are the only things keeping us in one piece at the moment so, I’m desperately trying to hold on to them. I know he is abusive and I’m trying to stay out of his way as much as I can. I’m also trying to keep DS busy. He’s doing a little bit of work now and also, have gotten him to join the gym just to get him out of the situation as much as possible.

Would the Relationships Board get the ASD aspect?

I have arranged next week to have on oldish TV wall mounted in my bedroom (I’m not a fan of TV in the bedroom!) so DS and I don’t need to sit in absolute silence with “H”, in the lounge. I’ll squirrel myself away as much as I can, upstairs. Last night, DS, the dog and me all in my bedroom (it’s not that big!!) watching an iPad. Still, better than the alternative.

@hoorayandupsherises Thank you for the link. I will have a look at it. I suppose also, I want H to apologise. For all the accusations he’s made, now backed up with “evidence of my innocence “ as he requested. He refused to even look at the phone records he asked for and just kept telling me it was irrelevant as I was a liar. I am not. I was just choosing what information to divulge in order to avoid this.

The stress of this is horrendous but today, I went for my run in the sunshine and felt a ray of hope for my future. Mine and DS. I can do as I please; no more walking on eggshells. No more being corrected for my English or grammar or pronunciation. I can watch what I like. Read what I like. Go to the carol service with my sister and family without H being disappointed because it’s all “twaddle”. I can close the door to my home and it’s mine and DS’s safe haven. That’s got to be good and worth hanging on for!

OP posts:
Clarice99 · 13/10/2022 18:09

TheSecondMrsMoorcroft · 13/10/2022 17:49

Hi @Clarice99 I’m seeing GP next week but I’m not in any position to go anywhere without DS, the old family cat and dog. Our routines (mine and son’s) are the only things keeping us in one piece at the moment so, I’m desperately trying to hold on to them. I know he is abusive and I’m trying to stay out of his way as much as I can. I’m also trying to keep DS busy. He’s doing a little bit of work now and also, have gotten him to join the gym just to get him out of the situation as much as possible.

Would the Relationships Board get the ASD aspect?

I have arranged next week to have on oldish TV wall mounted in my bedroom (I’m not a fan of TV in the bedroom!) so DS and I don’t need to sit in absolute silence with “H”, in the lounge. I’ll squirrel myself away as much as I can, upstairs. Last night, DS, the dog and me all in my bedroom (it’s not that big!!) watching an iPad. Still, better than the alternative.

@hoorayandupsherises Thank you for the link. I will have a look at it. I suppose also, I want H to apologise. For all the accusations he’s made, now backed up with “evidence of my innocence “ as he requested. He refused to even look at the phone records he asked for and just kept telling me it was irrelevant as I was a liar. I am not. I was just choosing what information to divulge in order to avoid this.

The stress of this is horrendous but today, I went for my run in the sunshine and felt a ray of hope for my future. Mine and DS. I can do as I please; no more walking on eggshells. No more being corrected for my English or grammar or pronunciation. I can watch what I like. Read what I like. Go to the carol service with my sister and family without H being disappointed because it’s all “twaddle”. I can close the door to my home and it’s mine and DS’s safe haven. That’s got to be good and worth hanging on for!

I think for context you should mention your autism on the relationships board, but ND or not, there is ZERO excuse for what your abusive asshole husband is doing to you. There are so many women on the relationships board who have benefitted from the wisdom of those having been in a similar situation to you so it's definitely worth you posting on there.

Your abuser is never going to apologise to you so I wouldn't waste your breath or mental resources on this.

I hope your GP appointment helps and that he/she signposts you to relevant agencies.

FFIW, I would report these incidents to the police, have the abusive asshole arrested for domestic abuse and control but I 'get' that you may not want to do this. Bear in mind though that this is an option.

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