Neurodiversity support thread for women with suspected, diagnosed or self-diagnosed autism, ADHD and other NDs #18

[PolterThreadStarter]

As usual, latest support thread.

Welcome

Wait people think 9am isn't early? How is before 9am not early? I tend to think in chunks so 9-12pm is morning, 12-3 is early afternoon, 3-6 is afternoon, 6-9 is evening, 9-12 is night then 12-6 is late night/you should be sleeping even though you aren't time. I think of 12-3 as insomnia time...

DSPS is a real thing, just the extreme end of a normal human variation in a way, IMO, rather than a disorder, strictly. If you're unlucky enough to have a body clock that's a long way out from average, you have to either work around it or work against it. It's also linked with bipolar disorder which I have. I physically couldn't maintain a 10pm to 6am sleep pattern long-term.

Reading about DSPS was really interesting, have never heard about it before. I'm still getting up early but I'm really not productive until much later in the day, like the afternoon and almost feeling a bit jetlagged and it's always been that way and I have adhd too which seems to be one of the things that go with it.

woo that the car is fixed!

Any steamer gamers want to switch IDs via pm, would love to have some new people to play with now and then!

I have no clue about games... which is probably for the best!

Weaver glad the car is fixed! 9am is early but I've learnt, because of kids, that it isn't that early and if I have to be somewhere for 9am that requires significant effort. It was 10 or 11 though I'd be more comfortable and feel it was normal for me.

I remember MIL taking DS for a walk when he was a baby. At his nap time. He came home having not napped and they (the PIL) discovered he would eat from a spoon - we mostly did BLW because it was easier than trying to poke a spoon in his face. - because they fed him cake.

Anyway, her reasoning was that if he was tired he would have gone to sleep, surely?!
He was only about 8 months old I guess. No, he never sleeps because he is "tired". He sleeps because we make him

So I'm totally intrigued about the sleep phase thing. Is what I was trying to say
Is it useful to add it as a condition? possibly if it gets DH off my back
I have so much reading I want to do....

On a recent thread about getting up early people were getting a bit competitive and claiming 8am or even 7am was not early. So I meant early to get up rather than early in general.

I do get up at 7 on school days but it's difficult.

heh, always cracks me up what people get competitive about on mumsnet

I get up at 4am, pick my own organic quinoa thats something you can pick right and my roast chicken can feed a 100 for weeks, WEEKS i tell you. I win the mumsnet crown If you're not doing all that, are you even really living?

I get up at 7.30 but I have to set an alarm for 7.10 and snooze it twice. Often I'm awake at between 5 and 6 (even if I went to bed at 2am ) and just lightly dozing in and out but I still can't physically get up unless I adhere to the two snoozes then I move rule.

I get up check all the kids are up, instruct the oldest to make her sandwiches then shower. When I come down again at about 8 I need to chase the stuff she forgets like hair and teeth brushing before either I drop her off near school or she walks depending on the weather.

Once she's gone I do the same chasing for the little ones and sort out their lunches. I also tend to do kitchen chores like unloading the dishwasher if I have time. We leave at 8.30 for school.

I'm a terrible mother so all my kids get their own cereal/toast/whatever else we have in.

I can only function if I stick to the routine.

Yes I need two snoozes too! It's silly, everything says you shouldn't snooze but I honestly find it essential.

I can't nap if I got to bed regardless of if I'm knackered or only a tiny bit tired I'm sleeping for 8hrs plus, Ive tried to nap and always ask dh to wake me and everytime he says that sleepy bubbles is like a completely different person and says "fuck off im sleeping" and I never remember this! And I wake up hours later being like wth just happened!

Hmm, sleep. Always been an issue for me, I can remember being awake for hours after I was put to bed as a kid. Mum believed in early bedtimes. My body did not! DD has similar issues. We are trying the bedtime routine and then not much after. Lullabies by Bluetooth speaker but we're not going back in to her. We concluded it's more stimulating than just letting her look at stories and then fall asleep in her own time.

I need a maximum of two snoozes. Can't get up for less without loads of effort. Any more than two and I'll doze for ages.

9am can be early or not depending on what I'm doing! I can get to work for 9, I used to start at 7. I wouldn't book an appointment for 9 though, not if I could avoid it!

I set an alarm for half 6, one for quarter to and then get up at 7! I also have an emergency half 7 alarm in case I sleep in.
I've always struggled with sleep too. My mum said even as a baby I was a shit sleeper and I didn't sleep through the night until I was 5. (DS1 didn't sleep through until he was 4)

I need a maximum of two snoozes. Can't get up for less without loads of effort. Any more than two and I'll doze for ages

This is exactly me.

Bubbles... people are competitive about things in MN? I don't know what you mean. I get up half an hour before I go to bed and I work 8 days a week down 't mine
I've been doing that since I was 3.

But seriously.... I've been late in the past when I have accidentally turned off instead of snoozed an alarm it was particularly embarrassing because it was a BH and that meant double money. I was actually rarely late just often arriving by the skin of my teeth on time

nutella I hope you also make all your own food from scratch every day.

Weaver natch! But I find all this Supermarkt faff unnecessary. I grow my own pulses and grind up my own cows for burgers. It's meant also putting the kids to work to tend crops but I know what is best for my children!

I am definitely NOT BU!

I'm just glad there is a river close by for when it's wash day.

I'm just glad there is a river close by for when it's wash day.
How incredibly lazy, I run a marathon to my washing river, do my washing then a marathon back.

Love it. Random question. Has anyone had an aspie daughter have the hpv jab? I'm wondering if I can get it done at the docs instead of school. I think DD will freak out and meltdown and I don't want to put her through that in front of her peers.

I got a letter offering it to me at the doctors when I was in the first year of university in Scotland but didn't take it years ago, so was possible at my GP, also nhs website on the job jag page says:
"es, if a girl misses either of her HPV vaccinations, for whatever reason, speak to her nurse or doctor about making another appointment, ideally as close as possible to the original one."
So that definelty sounds like it will be doable at a gps

I asked my doctor but she didn't know. She said she thinks it should be doable because there should be some facility for home schooled kids etc. She's going to ask for me and recommend we get her in asap if possible. She's already 12 1/2 as she's September birthday so she's in the correct age range. She's started panicking about it and they won't do it at school until November. She will be in absolute pieces by then.

Weaver my DD missed her hpv vaccination due to illness. It was a while ago but the vaccination nurse said it will be no problem to order it in for her. We just need to make an appointment.

Sorry. That's not clear. The nurse at the GP is happy to order it in.

Weaaver thats good tht they're supportive for getting her into the surgery rather then doing it at school.

I have an embarrassing question to ask and I've slightly namechanged for it so if anyone searches my usual name my stupid question won't appear in search , I was considering asking it on chat or similar but "upstairs" is scary to ask questions in.

So I don't have regular period, talking like maybe around 10-20 at nearly 30 because of PCOS. When they come they are quite heavy as never have them and I completely fall apart, major melt downs, stressville, panicking mess. tampons scare me as I worry I'm going to get TSS and die and I need to change them every 30mins anyway for first couple of days, I can't wear pads as I wear mens boxer shorts as normal knickers just irritate me so much, so normally I sit in the shower (without it running) for a week, not even joking, with a pile of books or ontop of a pile of towels and wrap myself up in towels at night, typing this out I realise what I ridiculous person I am.

Clearly sitting in a shower whenever I get my periods is not practical by any stretch of the imagination, so my question is does anyone here have a mooncup or similar and can reassure me that I'm not going to lose it up there and that its fairly simple that even in my meltdown moments I'm going to be able to get it in/out and not lose my mind! As I've just started a period and I'm considering getting a mooncup delivered by amazon prime for tomorrow so I don't have to sit in shower/bath for ages.

Help me be a grown up woman who doesn't need to sit and cry in the shower for a week oh wise support thread!

*or any other suggestions if not a cup, just anything that will make me function like a normal person would, rather then a ridiculous shower dweller