To not want to work, ever?

[kiweee]

I had a couple of jobs aged 17-19
I struggled and it made me very ill. I have ASD

I’m much much older now and have a family. My dh works full time and I try to keep the house sorted out, admin to do with kids done and look after them as they are still young but even when they are older I have no intention whatsoever to even think about working as it’s too much to deal with

My family and friends are all a bit 🤨 about this and keep saying ‘oh when x is at nursery will you look for a job?’
No, I won’t. I will use my time to do what I always do and perhaps have a little more time to do something to keep my mental health ok. I can’t get stressed or overwhelmed they dont seem to understand I’m not lazy I actually can’t.

There’s not really much or any support for adults with ASD so I’m coping as best I can but I think I’m just being seen as lazy but I’m not

It is up to you... I have 2 undergrad degrees, 2 masters degrees and a professional masters level qualification. I don't work. It is my choice, supported by my DH. I can work. I have worked. I choose not to. I choose to be at home with my son. That is my choice. No guilt. I love to study I finished an undergrad and did a masters part time while at home with DS. If you want to work, work. if you don't don't. With the obvious caveat that you need to decide this with your DP/DH if you as a family can support you, then fine. your family your family rules.

You are doing the right thing. It is essential that you can function so that you can raise your children and maintain your relationship with DH. You and DH are a team, and you need to do whatever works and contribute to the happiness of the family. Don’t worry, be happy!

Op, if your dh is truly content with that decision, then that’s fine but think of two other things.

1. Your family clearly think you are capable of work, which is nice because even if you aren’t it means you are coping well with the outside world at the moment.
2. Not working might leave you a bit isolated when your dcs are at school so have a think about a low stress something you might LIKE to do when the time comes.

I have asd and have worked all my life, because it was financially necessary so I do get how you feel. I am looking forward to retirement