A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

I was pushed into it by DP. And it was over email so i don't have to see her face to face, so not as awkward!

Psst rat look here! You can talk about rats.

Childbirth. Eek. We only have one DS (9). Mine was horrendous. Quick birth (for a first one so I'm told). Awful midwife. I suffered a 4th degree tear. I screamed like a banshee. Had 4 operations over 2years. Then last year when DS was 7, I had surgery again as both my bladder and bowel had prolapsed and my perineum needed rebuilding. However the surgery has failed so I'm awaiting an MRI to start the process again.

This doesn't sit well with me as my head (condition?) can't process that something once done needs doing again.

RATS!!!!

Thanks

Morning, all.

Hi and welcome to any and all newbies. I can't remember who I have and haven't greeted, specifically.

Anyone got much planned today?

I've got to fold and put away the mountain of clothes. There's two black bags full of clean washing that need putting away

I've got to shop today. Hooray
I caught my side on a door handle yesterday and have managed to jar my lower back and my arm, it hurts.
I'm also going to be trying to work out my camera some more, it won't focus close up, and I have no idea if it's a camera issue or an operator issue, whatever it is it's bloody annoying though!

Shakey
Oh my giddy aunt

Hello all. I had a bit of a rubbish day yesterday as I went to my local coffee shop for coffee and cake, walked in... and instantly the noise gave me some sort of overload/anxiety attack. I could barely understand the woman behind the counter and struggled to speak also. Gah.
I am normally fine there as well but I'm a bit stressed with the amount of time DH is away with work so finding my sensory triggers worse than usual.
But much better today and hope you're all having a good Sunday and Pig poor you.

We had a party for dd1's birthday today. Just at home with family but it was really fun! Exhausted now as I've been on the go since first thing this morning.

I'm a bit irritated with MIL though. She was so critical of dp today and kept making snide comments about him either to him or behind his back which I didn't really like. For some reason she was really unimpressed that he hadn't baked a cake for dd this year (he had on previous years) and that we had decided to buy one instead - which dd absolutely loved. I briefly mentioned it to him and he noticed it a bit too but I didn't want to go on too much or upset him so I left it at that. I feel like she doesn't really like him that much sometimes. It's really sad.

Well done Polter!

I finished a draft of one of my essays today, which pleases me. And I put pictures in it

Yeah, but you haven't read the drivel I type 😂

I'm very happy; I'm awful for procrastination.

I decided I can't possibly do my work until I recieve an email back from my tutor.
Of course I could do a different bit of it...

Thanks Polter, I can't believe I'm still awake as it really has been a full on day.

I don't really get my mil. She comes across as a nice person. But she treats dp like he's still a child. Not in that lovingly "you'll always be my baby" sort of way but in more of a patronising "you don't know what you're doing" sort of way. Every time we see them they nag him about something. Have you done this? Are you doing that? You're doing that wrong. He is nearly 30! He has an older brother who doesn't get treated this way, but then again he has a more successful career, lives an interesting lifestyle, goes travelling a lot. So I guess by their standards dp doesn't cut it.

He tends to let things wash over him a lot more than I do and I know it probably shouldn't but it bothers me. Because I feel if they feel he isn't capable then by proxy they must view me in the same light too.

Dp isn't perfect, he can be a twat sometimes as can I (wanting to subject everyone to the football at dd's party today for example) But I would be devastated if my family spoke to and about me the way his parents (and aunt, today) spoke about him. Some of the comments I heard were horrible, implying that he's useless for not doing X or Y. Just ugh, why would anyone be so mean about their own son? Sorry for the rant.

Well done for getting the essay done rat. Procrastination has always been a problem for me too.

HSF I share the same sort of mentality. I can't do X until Y is done. Of course I could in theory but it just wouldn't be 'right' to me.

Thanks, Delete! I'm going to work on my other essay for a few days now, I think, and come back to the one I've just done afterwards, so I can read it with a fresher mind.

It must be so frustrating to see your PIL behaving like that, when it's not really something you personally can get involved with. Thank God my PIL live on another continent.

Hope you manage to get it all done!

It is very frustrating, I try not to talk about it with dp too much, as I'm paranoid that I've got the wrong end of the stick or that he/they will think I'm turning him against them. Although he's had words with them in the past, he doesn't really seem bothered by it on the whole (maybe because he doesn't hear some of the things they say). He is a very forgiving person and I have to accept that and not rock the boat. Not that I want to but I also don't feel the way they treat him is fair.

Realistically, I think you're doing the best thing. Hard to keep biting your tongue in those circumstances though.

Thank you ohmuthur

delete that sounds very frustrating but I agree with rat. You're probably doing the best thing

Morning all! I'm shattered today, DD is still not sleeping great and she'll be two in a few weeks.

About two or three threads ago in a discussion about autistic inertia / executive function fail I may have mentioned the Great Brain Battle with the sewing machine I have (gorgeous machine DP gave me for xmas a few years ago, I desperately want to use it and learn and I'm too terrified of failing to try so I have a huge anxiety attack every time I go near it, it is totally ridiculous and I really want to manage it). I have some instructions for making a weighted blanket which looks reasonably easy. A weighted blanket may help DD sleep. I'm going to see if I can do it...

How are you getting on Laura? Make sure you follow guidance on the weight of the weighted blanket compared to the weight of your dd - there's info online somewhere to make sure it is the right weight and not dangerously heavy or uselessly light.

I've been continuing to read "Neurotribes" this afternoon (was recommended to me at my diagnostic assessment). Have finally got to the end of a very harrowing chapter that was meant to be mostly about Asperger and the ASD children he studied / looked after and the implications of him (and the children) being in Austria during WWII but went into far too much detail on what other children experienced. I wish I could unread that chapter now

Today my procrastination topic is a work project. I've done precisely none of it so far today even though I quite enjoy it when I get going...

I found Neurotribes hard reading at times too, but i couldn't stop reading it until I'd finished. Amazing book; such an achievement. Not perfect, but then, what is?

I recently bought a wool duvet, and compared to hollowfibre it's really heavy, lovely snuggly drape. Not as heavy as a weighted blanket, but still so comforting.