A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

I haven't, Polter - have to say I'm tempted too. Pricey, though.

Can I PM you, Polter?

Polter, I suspect you're right. I know it's not the same thing but when I was in labour with DS2 the midwife kept going on and on about how I was dealing with it and kept telling DH I was one of those people who don't show the pain or emotions (it was a home birth so lots of chatting involved).

I know I don't always display the emotion I think I am. I've managed to offend DH before because I think I'm just talking about something in an impassioned way but he thinks I'm yelling at him.

I like that image.

I'm basically redlining my UV meter half the time

I saw a thread in chat by someone who thought they had ASD. Read it and realised I probably did too. Ironically I saw the title and thought Surely you'd know if you had ASD by the time you were an adult Someone linked to here and I just jumped in.

I'm struggling. Just had a meltdown about work. I'm really being put through the ringer because my move is so slow! I'm pissed off too because other people I work with have got new jobs, they've been told just to hand their notice in. I was told I got the job end of August and it's still not confirmed so I can't hand my notice in!!!! DH can't understand why I'm so stressed about it. He keeps saying It doesn't matter. I told him quite firmly that it matters to me! I desperately want to move before Christmas, otherwise I'll be on the ward again and no doubt my boss will give me the worst shifts again

I do the feeling intense emotion but not showing it thing too. Then I get even more upset because I feel I am clearly expressing my upset/anger/whatever through body language and that surely dp would notice something was up but he doesn't and I feel like he's ignoring me when he's not, he's just totally oblivious because I haven't told him like a 'normal' person would.

Alternatively there are also times where I admit I can be a complete arsehole and even when dp does ask what's wrong I can't seem to find the words to express it. I can't win either way!

We are hosting a party on Sunday for dd1's birthday, just a family thing at home. Dp seems to think it's acceptable to put the football on tv, I am of the opinion that although people don't go to parties to sit and watch tv, people do generally congregate in the living room when we host parties and we should really put something on that will at least keep my kid cousins entertained, especially the older 2 who are 10 and 12 and won't really want to play with the toys on offer. No one else apart from FIL is really into football. I just feel like it's a bit antisocial?? It's a party for a 4 year old child, surely it's common sense that you at least put a family film on in the back ground that everyone can enjoy. Maybe I'm over thinking it though.

BDH - yes! Home birth I seemed completely relaxed, it was kind of lovely (apart from the contractions) I can deal with pain by totally shutting down and going in on myself. AND
I know that DH & sensitive DSis think I'm yelling at them when I'm being outraged on their behalf. I can see I'm doing it. Am trying to train myself to SHUT up. It's taking a while...

Ooh birth!
DS1, the midwives didn't believe me when I told them I was in pain. They ended up having to monitor me and only then they saw how strong the contractions were.

DD and DS2 I was pretty much left to my own devices. Dp claims I make childbirth look easy. I pushed a 10lb 10.5oz baby out of me and needed no midwife involvement (apart from monitoring and catching him!) Because I deal with pain by being in a bubble. That didn't work with DS1. They wouldn't let me. They kept shouting at me, and I don't like being told off. I was also very very scared because I was 17, and I'd never had a baby before! So that didn't help. I was already worked up, so midwives saying I was being silly, and shouting at me for telling my mum to fuck off really didn't help.

Hello all

Clicked on the link in t'other thread. I may not post much as I don't really like talking about "me" when push comes to shove but thought I'd join in tentatively.

I'm 47, married, 9yr old DS, suspect I have Aspergers, having a bit of a shit time at present as DH has a long tem medical condition, I need surgery and I'm in a job I detest where I've been treated badly, taken it very personally, unable to forgive/move on etc but can't leave as we rely on my wage.

I'm very black and white, pedantic, lack empathy and share quite a few of the traits.

I wanted a home birth but due to health problems that wasn't possible. I had a similar issue with pain to you HRF. They thought I was putting it on. My waters went so they decided to give me a pessary because I was only 1cm dilated. I was in agony for about an hour afterwards. I was told it was spasms from the pessary. I knew they thought I was being a drama queen! Then after about an hour and a half I said I had to push. They laughed (!) and said 'You can't push yet^. Then I shouted I was pooing so they asked if they could check...I was still dressed. Yup, I was fully dilated, went from 1cm to fully dilated in 1.5 hours! No wonder it hurt! Pleased to say the pushing part seemed pretty easy, she was a tiny baby at 5lb 4oz though!

I think in general I struggle to get how I feel across, especially pain issues. I've been admitted with pain a few times and been fobbed off a bit. I was taken more seriously the last time I was in and I wonder if there was better understanding because of my diagnosis.

Welcome Shakey (sorry crossed posts due to my birthing story!). Feel free to look around! I find it reassuring to be here and read about other women with similar issues. Nice to know you're not alone! :)

HRF your baby was double the size of mine!!

Hi shakey
faith he was, and still is huge
He weighs around 14 and a half kilos. DD is 19 months older and weighs 10 kilos. (He's at the top of the centile charts, she's at the bottom)

😀 Faithlet was on the 0.2nd centile, the smallest curve! We had major clothing issues, if they were long enough they were about 4 inches too wide! She chubbed up though and since about 1 month has sat nicely on 25th. She's still lean now but not super skinny.

DS1 and DD were both born on the 50th centile for weight, but DD was only on the 9th for length. She got ill and lost a lot of weight, taking her down to between the 9th and 25th centiles. She's still that way now at nearly 3.
I realised the other day how close I was to losing DD and how badly the hospital fucked up.

I came into labour on the 1st of December. But then everything just stopped (they confirmed I was dilating and contracting). They said they didn't know if my waters had broken or not and sent me home.
The next day I had bleeding and reduced movements. So I went to the hospital and they told me I was worrying for nothing.
She was measuring big until that point. For the next couple of weeks my bump didn't grow. I spent most of my time trying to get her to move. I knew something wasn't right but no one would listen to me.
She was born on the 18th. The midwife that delivered her thinks she stopped growing when I first came into labour.

Thanks for the welcome

I was induced with ds1, once in labour I didn't progress, ended up having an epidural, blood pressure went very low, they lost ds's heartbeat so I was whipped across the corridor for a CS. He had the cord around his neck which was stopping him from moving down to move things on.
All the other three were planned CS.
Hated being in hospital though, too much noise and having to fit in with others' routines, and I particularly found the conflicting advice from midwives difficult.

Hello Shakey