A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

I think it's important to remember that there is definitely a NT spectrum too

polter

Muther, seems to,be general NT advice as I've been told this from several sources

No bloody wonder life can be so exhausting to navigate with such weirdness going on! Polter, I quite agree, and would like to add the rigidity of autism services, and the fact that 9 times out of 10 it's us that have to compromise, or learn to cover up whatever it is we're struggling with. Dicks

Sorry, bit of a bad day

I was really shocked working for a day in a SN school where every second interaction seemed to be obsessed with making the 'learners' (I don't like that expression) behave in a NT way!! I kept thinking 'geesh!! This is EXHAUSTING!! if we could stop going on about eye contact for just a minute ... we could perhaps get something done, & y'know chill out and ENJOY ourselves.'

But seriously ...
NTs aren't all tossers !
Tossers are tossers and some of them are ND/NT/whatever...
(I only have to look at my family to see that.)

Ive said this before, probably loads of times, but I can't get over a teacher training session I went to where the session leader gave some really good information, but when a teacher said something along the lines of "I'm an old fashioned teacher (bollocks - she was only a little older than me, she was just an ignorant cowbag!) and I insist on all children sitting smartly, not fiddling around, and looking at me". The session leader had such an opportunity to educate her, but just simpered and let it go. I was then a pain in the bum for pointing out that if ds2 was sitting smartly and looking at her, you could guarantee that he was only concentrating on sitting smartly and looking at her, and wouldn't take in anything she was saying. Of course I was just a mother, so what I said wasn't important.
That teacher was attacked so many times by autistic pupils. And sworn at, but it was only ever put down to naughty children who shouldn't be in mainstream school.
I overheard a conversation the HT was having with a parent about naughty names (names which always seemed to crop up as the naughty children) and she named three names of past autistic pupils. Pretty sure she would have seen how twatty that was had the children been physically disabled, not "just" autistic and could be making more of an effort. (Really need to get off the Internet and wind down a bit now!)

Hello all, may I join you? I've found my people!
I'm ancient, 2 DS, married many years, had a lightbulb moment when I realised my late father, an engineer, was almost certainly on the spectrum, and I probably was too. Did the rdos (?) test, scored neurodiverse 183 out of 200 and neurotypical 17 out of 200 with the comment "You are most likely neurodiverse". No shit, Sherlock!
Polter - I loved the picture upthread with the comments for the pedants. And you've posted my favourite piece of punctuation, the semi- colon.
PigPigTrotters - your DS should definitely choose what HE wants to do on his birthday - being forced to have a party/company is 7 sorts of hell!
Thoughts -
Sounds - no. Loud sounds - even more no. Silence is good.
Visitors, expected or not. I really would rather not.
Faces - difficult to recognise. Have I spoken to you before? What about?
Humour. Often don't get it.
When you tell me of something, I could do with an indication of whether I'm supposed to respond that it's a good or bad thing.
I can speak for hours on my specialist subjects but have zero small talk.
Clothes must be comfortable and practical. I don't do fashion. Don't do much make-up either!
How do people witter on about seemingly nothing for hours?
What do I say next?
My dogs are so much simpler than people.

Hi poodle

polter I was invited by BDH after I mentioned on a thread my suspicions and asked for info.
I did read back a little bit and felt I'd found my people. I finally felt I had somewhere I belong, even if it's not real life

I got here after reading another thread (probably AIBU or chat) and finding a link. I popped in, read past threads and lurked a couple of times but didn't make the plunge and post until after I had my first psychiatrist meeting and was told he was 95% sure I had Asperger's.

I was on SN boards for DD. Been reading up on Aspergers & having some lightbulb moments then saw this thread, read & thought 'that is spookily familiar'.... too scared to go to psych at mo this is all too new to me.

I originally found this thread after a link from another thread, then by entering the name of the thread. It's not (to me) easy to find but I'm glad I have!

I was reading them, on and off, for ages and ages, but didn't feel really comfortable to join in properly until I got a diagnosis. I can't remember if I left it until after that to join, or not. But anyway, I felt able to join about when invited by PM. I think it was you, Polter

Thank you for being my auxiliary memory Polter! Mine is awful. Really, really awful. I have whole swathes of my life that have gone down the memory-hole. My long-term memory, my working memory, my remembering-about-appointments-and-things memory - all awful. Before I started outsourcing my brain functions to Google calendar and phone alarms, I was even worse than I am now!

Am calmer now. It's only taken the whole day to get there!

I don't know if DH needs to step up or if I'm being unreasonable (I'm definitely not going to ask in AIBU, though!). I mean, he's autistic as well. He manages to go to work every day, which must be bloody hard for him.

He also tries to do stuff around the house and stuff with the boys and he steps it up when he realises I'm struggling (but I stupidly hide how much I'm struggling). It's not like he's a thoughtless arse or anything. He struggles with getting up in the mornings. Like really struggles and has done since he was a child. I think it's an autistic thing to do with the transition from sleep to waking. I still think he should at least get up early enough to walk the dogs before work so he doesn't need to when he gets home (the point at which I'm normally totally overloaded and could do with his help).

As for dirty clothes everywhere - I think he puts stuff down and intends to move it to the wash basket at some later point but forgets and once that sort of thing is on the floor/wherever he just doesn't 'see' it.

Anyway, he has been tiptoeing around me a bit since he got home and has suggested a take-away for dinner and that we watch Friends and play board games/card games tonight. We'll see if he brings up my explosion once the boys are in bed!

I totally agree with what others here are saying about your DS's birthday, Pig. It's his day so he makes the rules! People who think his birthday is about them can STFU.

I was so glad when I first saw you on the thread, HSF, because I felt all pleased and self-congratulatory for having brought you here.

BDH