Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

Beyond, it was just: present a case that you've seen recently. I did do it, and it was fine except the structuren was a bit jumbly and i'm a terrible speaker, so i was moving my hands weirdlu and wouldn't dit still on the chair and sort of rushed throuhh what i was saying etc.
The music thing is interesting. I can't stand loud music in rnclised places. If it's on too loud in the car it makrs me deel sick. Some music deels to make me deel things really stringly. For example i couldn't watch waking the dead as a child because the opening theme music was too chilling. I can't watch films with overdone or bad or somehow inapropriate music. And i was ready to leave the cinema after the first few minuten of onder the skin because of the music. I would have, but i was with friendq

I hate music in films and TV when I feel it is intrusively trying to TELL me how to feel.

"This is a sad scene!"
"This is heartwarming!"

etc.

And my mum, who we're sure is one of us, hates the loud music my dad likes to put on in the car, saying it hurts her ears.

I'm always turning down music in the car too

I would listen to my ipod so much more than i do, but hate having things in or over my ears.

Can't stand in-ear headphones!

PO Box number 45 oo-o-o-oh!!! (3SY, Why am I so funky? :o) I used to LOVE that program. Nobody else remembers it. I can't believe Mark Speight died :( I have no idea what it was called, though. I just remember that they shouted DOOR-BELL!! whenever somebody came to the fake house.

My sister and I used to pick up our dad's post and sing "Mr. XXX number 450...."

Fully booked!!!

I used to have 0181 811 8181 going round and round too. Iirc there wer a couple of tunes?
Also 8.15 from Manchester - anyone remember that?

We had a local radio add that I often sing in my head, something like "5 0 double 5 0 7, Neil Hall gives free quotations" hasn't been on the radio for years!

And i was ready to leave the cinema after the first few minuten of onder the skin because of the music. I would have, but i was with friendq

Do we all force ourselves through things we find unpleasant because of our sensory sensitivities because of those around us? I know I do and I think my diagnosis is almost beginning to let me feel I CAN now say, "look, I'm finding this hard" - and people have generally been understanding, but I realise not everyone will understand, perhaps especially in a workplace.

Gumble, I assumed everyone found things unpleasant but were better than me at dealing with it.
It's only very recent that I've found out that's not the case.

It wasn't fully booked, was it? Wasn't that about a hotel with some annoying puppets?

Good point Chien.

Yep, muddling them up there and i have no idea why.

It was scratchy and co
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scratchy_%26_Co.

Clearly puppets / people in wigs merged into one in my head

That was the one - he reminded me of Johnny Bravo with the wig :)

sorry!

I watched children's programs until well into adulthood and still do
DH and I used to look forward to Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Arthur on a Saturday morning.

I loved the theme tune to Dogtanian and the three Muskehounds.

So did I leChien it's only now after diagnosis that I'm talking about things with DH and he keeps saying I'm weird (in a loving way of course) because I feel x, y and z.

(My usual retort is 'yes, I am, but I'm autistic, what's your excuse?' or 'I know, I have this little piece of paper that tells me that!')

From the beginning of my diagnosis journey, DP has moved from being not sure that I'm autistic, to more convinced, to being pretty sure that I am and sending me articles about established autistic traits, qualities and behaviours which he'd previously noticed in me - but throughout, he has always said that to him it doesn't matter if I'm autistic or not, I'm me, and that he believes autism is a valid way of being and not a disorder.

rivier just reminded me, at work I had to help a colleague do a little demonstration thing. She was supposed to be demonstrating poor listening while I talked. So she started off by completely turning her back on me or obviously staring out of the window. By the time she had been 'helped' to listen more effectively, I was so unnerved by talking to her I realised I was madly stimming by wringing my hands and twiddling my thumbs!

Been catching up on your old threads... still quite a lot to go but just checking in on the meantime.

I don't really get ear worms but reminds me a bit of this thing I've done since I was a kid, where the last sentence or so of something someone says will play on repeat in my head and I count the syllables on my fingers, so tap one finger to each syllable as I think it. Or car number plates would do that with too.

Just been reading some links on an old thread about getting stuff done which was interesting. I've recently finished 9months of therapy and I started it mostly to talk about my relationship and moving house, but ended up talking about much more day to day things and I realised I nearly always spoke about my anxiety about how well I was doing in terms of 'doing stuff'.

My sister was telling me the other day how she loves ticking stuff off lists so always gets lots done every day because that motivates her. Well I love making lists, or preferably designing new systems for what lists to make, but as for actually getting stuff done, total other matter....

I hope you guys are all watching doctor who!