Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

Melatonin is wonderful stuff. I don't know how we managed before ds had it.
I've never considered it for myself before, although when stressed I find it hard to get to sleep then hard to stay asleep.
Please will you keep us up to date how it goes Polter?

Nouef, that sounds horrendous. Ice breakers are excruciating, but that sounds quite hurtful.
I'm badly dressed and scruffy, and I'm sure people judge me for it, but so far no-one has made any comments.
Have a post it from me too .

I like to be in control, and it think that's why buying tyres had me panicky, because I haven't a clue and I'm having to rely on others knowing what to do.
I was there for an hour this morning and felt ill the whole time. I had to go and buy maltesers to help me recover quickly

LeChien a packet of Munchies helped me cope after a mini drama yesterday!

PS. I am a scruffy Herbert too and even when "dressed up" still never quite get it right.

There's a song by K.T.Tunstall called "still a weirdo" which has the line "Optimistic but never quite elegant" - I think it describes the experience of being neurodiverse very well.

Never heard of that song, I'll have a look for it.

How can you buy melatonin? I thought it was prescription only in the UK?

It's quite comforting, the tune is happy so it's not a sad song, more accepting. I am a bit obsessed with applying music to every single situation in life, though. :o

Now I know I took for granted that things
Would always go the way I wanted
I was going to be a treetop
A sea, a boat, a rock of ages

I don't always get it right
I'd see it in a different kind of light

I'd always thought it's automatic
to grow into a soul less static
But here I am upon the same spot
Attempting to lift off into space

Pay my lip service, keep it eloquent
Optimistic but never quite elegant
Still a weirdo
Still a weirdo, after all these years

I like that Bertie, thanks for sharing it.

I was thinking about music this morning. I generally don't like to have music playing in the house, it irritates me (it makes an area in my brain feel wormy/squirmy). I do listen in the car, but have recently been experimenting, and I think it's because the car without music makes my ears feel tense and poppy, with music it doesn't.
I like some classical music, and I know I've read the the Mozart effect has been debunked, but if I play certain pieces, the area of brain that feels squirmy feels like it's unclenching and I feel happy and relaxed.
I'd love to have a MRI sometime to see if there is something physical going on.

Hello, I just saw the link to this on Chat and thought I (constant name changer, mostly lurker) should do something useful with all the time I spend on mn, instead of gorging myself on the vicious drama of AIBU.

Will write more about myself later, am cooking pancakes...

LeChien I relate re music - I can't bear anything in the house except some jazz radio stations, occasionally classical music. Mostly just radio 4. In the car I like to have the kids music cd on and don't mind pop radio so much.

I don't mind music in cafes as well, but the same music (anything modern/pop) would really unsettle me at home.

I don't mind certain music but some of the dirge like stuff DH loves ( seasick steve) makes me want to kill him.

Signing in

Right, all caught up

I like to match music to situations in life.
I used to constantly say "we know a song about that, don't we children?" (Hale and Pace)
For quite a while, I had a Duran Duran.obsession and I could pretty much find a song or line from them that fitted ny every moment!

I love music too, but my Aspie brain can't cope with too much bass, it just hurts. Sometimes I walk around the house plugged into my iPod or listening to podcasts on my phone.

My parents are the same Polter. Actually, my DM's an Aspie, but she'll never fully accept it.

I was reading up the thread and my heart goes out to the poster who wrote about a hidous meeting at work, boy can I sympathise! The trouble with the workplace is that it's full of pushy people who take advantage of Aspies. Well, that's my opinion anyway.

I have headphones on almost all the time when I'm out, but there's not always music playing I use music to deal with my obsessive earworms, which when I'm in an elevated state become shorter, faster loops, very loud and intrusive, and quite distressing. Single lines of songs, or radio jingles, sometimes multiple simultaneously, and the same ones for days or weeks.

I have to sing songs if someone says a line that reminds me of one too - someone said sugar the other day, and it set me off singing "honey honey"

Oh yes, no, I can't stand bass being too loud either.

Interesting about earworms. I get it less now (or perhaps I'm more used to it) but as a child/teenager I would literally always have a song in my head. I used to find it weird when people complained about having one because I would think, but you always have one. I just thought everybody had it. In fact I still can't really get my head around not.

My permenant earworms are
081 811 81 81
And
PO BOX, number 450. Birmingham B1, 3SYyyyy

Anyone who can name either of them (no googling!) gets bonus points from me

I hate most bass, i can feel it and it makes me feel sick. However, i can play a bass guitar and love metal, which i can also feel, but doesnt make me feel sick. Dunno. Weird.

I thought it was 0181 811 8181.

It is, i typed it wrong

Though i think it may have been without the additional '1' before they added a load of extra 1's to everyones phone numbers?

Ah, google tells me it was 081 for GL and then 0181 when it changed over

I also get "ColdSEAL winDOWS oh eight undred double TWO double ONE double FIIIVE" and "Oh eight hundred double oh, ten sixty six!"

I'm 29; perhaps you're a year or two older?

i'm 29 too