Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

Whoops, completely missed that there was another page.
Watching Doctor who on iplayer now. I was born in the dearth (sp?) of Doctor Who, so don't know any of the older ones.

Spelling is my SPECIAL THING!! and dearth is right

Watch me spell everything incorrectly now

I'm always interested that some people naturally seem to be able to spell and others find it very difficult.
Ds2 never practises spellings and gets 10/10 every week.
I always found spelling easy.
Ds1, no matter how hard he tries just cannot do it.
Dh can't spell but is very practical and organised.
I couldn't organise myself out of a paper bag.

I get it from my mum. I can see incorrectly spelt words from across the room in chunks of text without having to read them - it's like they stand out in bold.

My mum tells a story about my brother's teacher coming to her concerned about my brother's spelling book. Mum asked, "Oh, is he having trouble with his spelling?" to which the teacher replied, "Oh no, he always gets them all right, but he needs to get his spelling book signed by you when he's learnt them."

"What spelling book?"

When my mum asked my brother, he just said, "Well once I've written them down, I know them, so there's no need to bring the book home, is there, Mummy?"

Sickening, sickening child.

I'm like that with spelling for 99% of words. There are a few which consistently elude me, though. That's really irritating because I also find wrongly spelled words jump out at me. I read somebody on here describe reading misspelling and mixing up of e.g. there/their as being like hearing a bum note in a song. It is totally like that! I would have to read the text to be aware but I also can't look at words without reading them.

Yes, it's uncomfortable just like a bum note.

I do guerrilla corrections.

Yes, hate spelling mistakes, and mixing up there/their/they're.
It really bugs me if I put the wrong word in, or I read back a post and the ipad has autocorrected some grammar that wasn't wrong in the first place.

I have a FB friend who I suspect is on the spectrum. She is a complete grammar fiend and will pick up on any mistake, no matter how small.

It doesn't matter to me so much if there are typos or misspellings on social media; it's more in professionally-produced stuffstuff that it bothers me. There are always people using phones, or who have dyslexia, or may be very distressed, and I think it's important to recognise that, but I think generally when people want others to read what they've posted, it's polite to not actively make it difficult to read.

I knew it! "stuffstuff"

I'm pretty hot on typos/grammar issues too (one of my few memories of feeling proud of myself is the one occasion I remember actually putting up my hand in class - to spell out chlorophyll - the rest of my Y1/Y2 class seemed gratifyingly impressed )

But, on More or Less the other day they were discussing how less was actually technically correct for talking about discrete numbers (e.g. less people, less oranges), which I always correct to fewer. So that's chastened me a bit.

I don't call people out on bad grammar/spelling because I don't want to be a dick and I know that they might find it difficult. I do make mistakes on my phone. But it does grate. American grammar also grates and I find it much more tiring to read, because every few seconds my brain is going "No no no! He's not "doing well in school", he's "doing well AT school"! I don't actively notice it that much, but when I have been engaging in a lot of US originated stuff and I come back to a UK one I feel a sense of relief and relaxation. Even just turns of phrase which aren't necessarily grammar related but aren't normally used in British English.

On a related note, I hate it when they let an American write the part for a British character on screen, because you get these odd turns of phrase that a British person would never say. I tend to excuse it if the character is supposed to have been living in the US for a while.

Oh, discreet/discrete I lament over, because discrete is such a GREAT word, but everybody thinks you're saying discreet if you try to use it.

I'm currently a civil servant and I really think that I've only really learnt to write properly from years of drafting stuff. That said, my grammar/spelling/syntax isn't perfect and like Bertie says, I don't want to be a dick either.

Oh my word, it's Sunday and I don't want to start drafting two new competencies for a post I don't even want to apply for.

Noooo! My worldview! It hurts, it hurts!

That is flipping brilliant Grumble - if it's ok with you, I'm going to share on FB.

Bertie, I love the fact GTA V has American characters calling people twats (Scottish game company) and pronouncing it "twots"

Got it off FB in the first place

I always thought the rule was; if you can count it, it's fewer, if you can't, it's less.
So in the supermarket, it should be 10 items or fewer (morrison's get this wrong, Booth's get it right)
You would ask for less water or sugar.

Thanks Gumble - I'm also learning bb code (slowly...)

Le Chien I was no fan of the semi colon until I read Lynne Truss's book www.theguardian.com/books/2003/dec/02/referenceandlanguages.tefl

Easy rule of thumb for semicolon is that it's used whenever you would usually use a dash - like this. The other use is for lists. If you're making a list of single words then you use a comma:

He bought eggs, oranges, apples, bananas and limes.

If you're making a list which contains phrases then you use a semicolon.

They did a lot of things over the summer: made sandcastles at the beach; visited the castle ruins; rode the old beach donkey, and of course, rode every ride on the pier.