Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

Lyndsey, you sound angry and you have every right to be. Your needs are as important as anyone else's else's and it's entirely reasonable to want to know for sure whether you're autistic or not.

I can't

Sorry for spelling your name wrong Lyndsay

It's OK Gumblebee

Sorry if u came across angry yesterday was my intention. I was just upset I was made to feel upset and deluded again. I was already in a state of anxiety as a few things happen beyond my control which made my day topsy-turvy. By the time it got to last night I was emotionally exhausted still feeling rather delicate today so I plan on hiding in doors with the children and have a pj's day Dh has to work but he has being super supportive.

BTW it's Lyndsay I decided this nickname fitted better I actually hate my real name lol

Ment I seemed angry not u

I'm so sorry, notcrazy, I shouldn't have described you as angry. I'm not great at inferring others' mental states For what it's worth, if you were angry, I wouldn't blame you at all.

That sounds like a good plan for today, and I hope you start to feel less delicate. You've been through a really tough time and I think it's totally normal to feel upset and exhausted. I don't think you're deluded at all.

Congrats on the new name You are very much not crazy!

Thanks Gumblebee you don't need to be sorry. I just wanted to make people knew I was meaning to be angry and abrupt.

I tend to explain myself slot in to much detail as people tend to not like me as I am honest and quiet blunt with it and upset people a lot to the point nearly everyone avoids me. I don't want that to happen here I actually want to try talking to people for more than a few days before they disappear. So please do tell me if I offered anyone and how u did it

Thank you Poltergoose hope you have a good day too

Wow, I know exactly what you mean about wanting people to actually bloody TELL you when you've offended them! I go to college and I have told all my friends and teachers to PLEASE come out and tell me when I am being offensive and/or inappropriate, because I just don't always realise! And people tend to not tell you, and just expect you to KNOW why you're in trouble or they're upset with you. I think they think it's more polite to pretend nothing's wrong, but I really want people to be up-front and just tell me when I'm being annoying or upsetting.

I want to assure you with absolute and total honesty that NOTHING you have said has offended or bothered me in any way.

I hope you have a nice calm PJ day with your DCs

I am the same Gumblebee wish people would just be straight with me. I totally miss the subtle cues I need then to just say.

Hope you have a good day too

Wow. I'm getting a real pasting on AIBU. I'm sitting in my bedroom crying Why am I so shit at this stuff?

Thanks Polter. I know I didn't mean to come across as aggressive and I want to apologise on the thread but I'm afraid I'll just derail it further. Bloody AS.

It's a weird thread. I keep writing a reply then deleting it as it'll just drag things on.
I didn't think you came across as aggressive, unless I'm crap at spotting that!

You don't come across as aggressive at all Gumblebee. I'm sorry you were upset. I think MN can be really nasty these days. I was upset by a thread I posted recently where I explained I have poor boundaries and I don't react the way most people do and a number of people accused me of basically lying - nobody could be that naive apparently. I was really upset and then I got compared with abusers and cheaters. It was very upsetting and I felt quite bullied but I've tried to move on from it and forget it.

Hi everyone, I am just poking my head into this thread so I can find it again!

I have occasionally posted on the old thread in recommendations and have been around the sn boards for a long time.

I am learking around not actually got courage to say much else where yet. Gumblebee haven't seen the thread but am sure didn't seem aggressive hope your ok

Nowadays there are certain topics that do seem to get fighty really quickly, and Relationships is one. I'm going to avoid that in the future. Of course AIBU has always been a mine field.

Thank you PG - it's quite comforting to be able to post here tbh.

Thanks everyone

Hi patience