drug dependant baby, advice needed

[EarthMotherImNot]

I've been asked to foster a baby expected to be suffering drug withdrawal when it is born next week.

It is years since I've cared for one of these and any advice would be most gratefully received.

I nursed a young lady who was a crack addict (as was her partner)but the pair of them gave up when she was pregnant which was pretty amazing tbh given their lifestyle beforehand (plus pg was unplanned). She had bipolar disorder and the pg and birth hormones didn't help. Unfortunately she had a binge after the baby was born and was admitted due to a psychotic episode. But afaik she was doing well and abstaining from drugs (as was her dp) and the lo was being well cared for by both of them. I hope the lo you're in charge of goes to a good home wherever that may be.

It originally looked positive towards lo returning home. Mum was doing well on a methadone programme and attending every contact session without fail.

Sadly the last 6 weeks have seen a dramatic difference in her appearance and she's missed (through illness she says) 5 out of the last 6 sessions.

She is being given every chance and help to change so it's a shame

What a shame - the pull of heroin is awfully strong. It has a lot to answer for Isn't it a shame people can't see what lies ahead when they first go down that road.

Hi girls, i am also fostering a withdrawal baby, she is 5 weeks tomorrow, should of been coming home today but still has a sore bum and only a slight weight gain , its really hard going to the hospital twice a day for the last 4 weeks, cant wait to get her home and some normality if that's possible

Aw-you poor thing!!.

It will be a really hard slog (although you more than know that already) but the most rewarding thing you will ever do-is it your first withdrawing baby?.

I will send you lots of positive thoughts and wish you all of the luck in the world. :)

As Minnerva says it will be the hardest work you've ever done. The sense of absolute joy and achievement once baby is free of withdrawal is second to none.

Our lo will be six months old next week and although she is still weeny she is perfectly healthy and a very happy baby.

Having said that I will think long and hard before I take a baby still on medication for withdrawal again.

It isn't the caring for the baby I struggled with, rather having to administer morphine to a baby under 5lbs in weight. The responsibility is terrifying.

Hope all is well with baby Fatraven, good luck

I've just read this thread and been totally amazed and moved by it.
Emin, Minerva and Fatraven, you are all fantastic and deserve so much respect for all the care and love you are giving to these little people.
I hope to become a foster carer for older children when my baby is 2 (I have a dd aged 9 too).
Truly inspirational!

Thank you Framey

"Our" lo is doing so well, we are constantly amazed by her progress. She is rolling over on to her tummy and pulling her legs up as if to crawl.

She is incredibly ticklish and giggles if she thinks you're about to tickle her even before you do

We have started this week giving her a taste of solid food and touch wood, so far so good.

She can now sleep for up to 4 hours through the night (bliss unbound) and wakes up so delighted to see us it's humbling.

God I love this job (only sometimes mind)

hi all
i have been fostering a baby who is now 11 months old since lo was 6 weeks old straight from the hospital. lo is a big baby now as lo was using its milk feeds to calm its craving. lo would not sleep during the day as would startle awake, but always slept well on the night, and first slept through at 10 weeks old! i noticed the change at about 5 months old when lo was alot calmer. its amazing how they come through it. lo was crawling at 6 months and started walking at 10 months! so has more than progressed well. lo is being adopted at the end of the month. we will miss lo dearly and will be devistated, but if we didnt get attacted then we wouldnt be doing our job. its the most rewarding thing we have ever done!

I know this is an oldish thread but the excitement is too good not to share

Lo almost 9 months has been rolling around the floor (her usual mode of getting from A to B) while I'm feeding 5 week old when, out of the blue, she gets up on her hands and knees

She wasn't quite sure what to do next so just rocked back and forward for a while before flopping back down.

I got so excited for her. How far she's come

Brilliant news, It won't be long before shes following you everywhere

Aw Emin that's so lovely to hear-you must be thrilled!!

Thanks for the update.:)

Don't think she'll be here long enough to be following me around Court case in a couple of weeks then off for adoption! I'm praying (rather selfishly I know) that we get to have Christmas with her.

Lovely news! You have given her such a good start.

Excitement indeed, what a great start you have given this little toot!

Whats a toot Squidgy

I have never seen this thread before - I am utterly staggered by the kindness and selflessness of the foster/adoptive mums on here - Minnerva, Earthmother and chegirl and others.

Sat here crying at the story of the little babies. Earth what a wonderful woman you are.

Poor poor baby. Utterly chilled imagining what a drug dependent baby crying sounds like

So so glad that women like you exist. How wonderful this thread is (but how horrific that such things happen).

have had a read and a little sob here too.
You foster Mums really really are amazing - wonderful to read how LO has come on

Thanks guys (aw shucks)

GOML
Dh describes the cry as piglets screaming in terror, and its a very good description of the cry.

The crying, which nothing ever seems to calm is awful but it's knowing that a tiny body is in such pain and all you can do is cradle them as gently as possible (their skin often hurts too)

She is doing very well and we both feel quite proud that we helped her through this awful thing but I'm not sure I'd be first in the queue for the next drug dependent baby It takes so much out of you and the responsibility is frightening.

I have on a number of occasions mentioned to HV, midwife etc that in my opinion babies on morphine shouldn't be discharged from hospital until they are weaned from it as the fear of giving too much or not enough is always there.

Most foster carers, whilst they will have done first aid courses, are not medically trained.

Imagine being in hospital and they send the cleaner round with the meds

You must feel so proud of what you have achieved and how she has progressed, through your loving and care. Fantastic.

I'm only 8 weeks into fostering.. we have 2 lo's with us, and if I can be a tiny patch of a carer as some of the carers on here, I will be very proud of myself..

When I'm feeling emotional.. (which can be frequently!!) I read this thread to give myself a kick up the backside

I'll celebrate your milestone today with a large glass of wine - feel free to join me 'virtually'..

I've just read this thread with my heart in my mouth and although I'm sorry for the situation lo's mum is in, I am delighted that through adoption this lo will have the best possible chance for a safe and secure life. EMIN - you and all the other foster mums and dads are wonderful people. Such love that you've shown - it's awe inspiring.

Another teary mess here. Can only add to what others have said: you're amazing (and your lo is amazing too).

I'm so glad she is being adopted, and hope she'll be loved and looked after as beautifully as she has been with you.

I'll think of her when I go in to feed my DD later on.

Reading this makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have a stable life and two healthy kids. It's too easy to take these things for granted.

EMIN, I cannot imagine the responsibility of administering oramorph to such a small person, where potentially a tiny amount could have terrifying consequences. The descriptions of the screams make me :( - my dh has cold-turkeyed off Oramorph but he was a 36 year old man, not a tiny, helpless infant. (And it was still quite bad, even though he has a bizarre relationship with opiates).

How marvellous she is doing so well. And, sad though it is that the birth mother couldn't come through, how lovely she will have an adoptive family. My dbro has adopted three children in similar-ish circumstances, all from the same birth family, and they have absolutely blossomed, it has been such a thing to see. I remember the middle dc was so very, very thin when he came to them I was absolutely shocked - and now he's a completely in-your-face lively 6 year old, he's a true delight.

What a terribly hard job you do. I know I couldn't do it and will freely admit that. Thank you so much.

What a wonderful thread. My adopted dd was also born drug dependent and she is such a bright, beautiful, happy baby now. There's not a day that passes when I don't offer up a prayer of thanks for the love and care her foster carer gave her. Well done, EMIN.