Page 8 | To The People Who Owned My House Before Me I Would Just Like To Ask

MintyyAeroEgg · 2009-03-30T20:18:35+00:00

Why, why, why, when the kitchen measures 25ft by 12ft, you chose to confine the kitchen area (all the units and appliances) to about 1/3 of the available space, and devote the remaining 2/3 to a dining area - which you chose to CARPET in dark green carpet. I just cannot get my head round what you were thinking of, you silly silly silly twunts. Anyone else?

mistlethrush · 31/03/2009 13:42

I think that there is something about rented houses and red and or red swirly carpets - I can still vividly remember one from my student days - the pattern repeat was probably about 2m

trixymalixy · 31/03/2009 13:44

All this makes me think that snagging lists on a brand new house woudn't be so bad after all!!!!!!

MrsMattie · 31/03/2009 13:46

Why did you carpet the kitchen?

Why (WHY? WHY?) did you paint the banister, floorboards, doors and woodwork in black gloss?

Why did you plant so very many hideous, poisonous, spiky old plants in the garden?

ChippyMinton · 31/03/2009 13:58

LOL at this thread. I think Laurence Llewellyn Bowen & his changing room cronies have a lot to answer for.

In my pervious owner'es defence the house was spotless but...

Why did you panel over the front room's fireplace wall with orange tongue & groove, and cover the ceiling with patterned polystyene tiles?

When you extended the back room, why did you make the new ceiling lower by a whole 18" than the existing ceiling?

How did you amass such a collection of patterned anaglypta wallpapers - 13 at the last count?

Why did you make an internal window between the hall and the back room, and what is that electrical socket in the sill?

But thanks you for leaving the 1950s retro vintage kitchen alone. I love it

TrillianEAstraEgg · 31/03/2009 14:04

My landlord is clearly lovely - did up our flat really nicely (he was living in it at the time).

But why is the smoke alarm in the kitchen, where it goes off whenever anything is cooking? Even just boiling pasta, so I know it's not a reflection on my cooking skills!

Monkeyandbooba · 31/03/2009 14:06

When you re-carpeted your bedroom why did you only do round the bed leaving a nice red square underneath the bed surrounded by a sea of light green carpet

Why did you not tell all your 'clients' that they could no longer get drugs from this address necessitating a change of phone number and weirdos hanging round outside? Thanks.

TheDevilEatsNestle · 31/03/2009 14:09

Why did you install the combi boiler on the wall beside the toilet meaning one had to lean sharply to the left when sitting on it.

Why did you glue chopped up doormats to the tread on the lovely oak stairs.

Why did you think three disgustingly filthy loo brushes would make a nice welcome gift for us? And why did you need three loo brushes? One for every member of the family?

Why did you have a bright red lightbulb in the master bedroom?

Why did you paint the squares of the sash window in the dining room with food colourings, and presumably you never cleaned them afterwards.

pagwatch · 31/03/2009 14:10

Can I just ask
a) what the fuck is the burglar alarm code?
or
b) if you don't know what the fucking code is can you try to remember who put the goddam thing in !

Heebeejeebee · 31/03/2009 14:10

When you painted the bedroom (bright blue) why could you not be bothered to move your wardrobes, leaving me the outline of the twin towers in the original white paint in my bedroom?

Why did you carpet in the bathroom?

Why did you tell me you were leaving the (v nice) cooker, then substitute it for the cheapest 4 hob oven money can buy?

Why did you install one of those showers that requires high pressure for the hot water to work when the water pressure was ridiculously low generally? The pump I've installed works a treat though..

Why did you never bother installing a nightstore heater (or indeed any form of heating) in the bedroom? The developers left you a switch ready - all you needed to do was ask someone to put one in!

AddictedtoCrunchies · 31/03/2009 14:45

This is brilliant. I don't have any horror stories to tell except for mushrooms growing round the sink in a rented house but I've just wasted half an hour reading this when I should have been working.

Indith · 31/03/2009 14:48

heebeejeebee MIL has done the shower thing, the shower only works with cold water as the hot isn't strong enough to keep the knob up! So erm...anyone buying her house (she is selling) beware, you may find you can only have cold showers. The new bathroom looks very nice though

squeaver · 31/03/2009 14:51

Why didn't you tell us that the house had a previous tenant who then made a claim to live in our kitchen and chased us through court (on Legal Aid) for 5 years, costing us £20,000?

Oh yes that's right because you're a cheating scumbag who left the country as soon as we bought the house.

hmmSleep · 31/03/2009 15:02

Why did you leave a white fluffy dressing gown hanging behind the bedroom door which when turned over was covered in sh#t?

hmmSleep · 31/03/2009 15:04

Oh, and why did you choose to have a bidet in the middle of the bedroom and leave us a photo of yourself sat on it?

hoarsewhisperer · 31/03/2009 15:11

Iwon;t bite- it wasn't secondary doubleglazing, because i too have seen that and that is a proper unit put over the top of the original. This was literally a cavity cut in the wall, so that a second totally normal window was put in front of the first. Even the builder said he had never seen anything like it in his life!

marmitebabe · 31/03/2009 15:23

Why did you see fit to take all the oven racks and grill pan from the build-in cooker, did you really think we'd bring own own...??
And after agreeing (and signing to confirm) to leave some curtains and all the rails why oh why did you take all the curtain rails, poles, curtains and blinds with you? it was interesting moving in at 6pm and trying to get the DC to sleep in a strange house surrounded by mess with nothing at any window, also ensuring they (and us naturally) woke up at the crack of dawn......
Bless your lying arse.

PurlyQueen · 31/03/2009 15:26

Why did you buy these houses in the first place?

abermum · 31/03/2009 15:48

blimey- makes me glad we are the only ones to have lived in our house! Makes the litle issues we had snagging lists etc seem sooo tame (at the time they weren't minor things they felt pretty major to me )

bluebump · 31/03/2009 16:16

Why did you boast about the amazing shower you had, and how you'd love to take it with you to your new house when actually it was so powerful it just leaked all the way into the lounge so badly we had to take the carpet up in the bathroom and tile it out and re paint the lounge wall and ceiling.

Why have in your estate agents blurb lots of info about your garden being landscaped then tell us what a lovely time we'd have in the garden and what you'd planted where if you were going to dig most of it up and take it with you.

Why when we'd gone to collect the keys were you stood around with a pretty empty removal van having obviously made no start to loading up your van leaving us no choice but to put moving in back a day.

Why decide to move if you hadn't looked at a single house because none were up to your standards and keep us holding on for over 6 months. Then keep dropping hints that if you took it off the market and put it back on again you'd be able to get another 10k for it as prices had shot up.

Why try to sell us a crappy shed and a satellite dish and then leave them anyway when we said we didn't want them.

Oh and when you are laughing to us after you've moved about how awful the neighbours are, do one day let us tell you that they are actually really nice it was just YOU that they didn't like.

Why not spend some time pondering where half of your mail went, as when we contacted Royal Mail and discovered you hadn't bothered to redirect yours to save money as we could "drop it into you" as you were only a few roads away, we decided not to.

MollyRogerslikeanEasterabbit · 31/03/2009 16:25

why did you paint round all your furniture so that that when we viewed the house it looked nice until you moved the furniure and there were great wardroabe and cupboard shaped gaps in the paint, you lazy feckers!

Why did you leave 5 inches of cat hairs all over the stairs.

Why did you not clean the kitchen before you left?
Why did you leave desiccated cat shit in the corner of two of the rooms?

Why - given you call yourself a landscape gardner - did you plant one giant buddleah bush in front of the windows? And only use one inch of topsoil on top of the hardcore rubble?

Why did you feel you had to leave huge holes all over the walls everywhere by taking even the built in loo-roll holder in the bath room?

To the surveyors: Why - despite us paying for a full survery which covered everything including how often we are allowed to blow our nose on a sunday according to bye-laws, _ did you at no point, did you tell us that the local electicity company forbade any planting of shrubs along the fence line as there are electric cables burried underneath, and so we found out by almost killing ourselves digging...

MollyRogerslikeanEasterabbit · 31/03/2009 16:25

why did you paint round all your furniture so that that when we viewed the house it looked nice until you moved the furniure and there were great wardroabe and cupboard shaped gaps in the paint, you lazy feckers!

Why did you leave 5 inches of cat hairs all over the stairs.

Why did you not clean the kitchen before you left?
Why did you leave desiccated cat shit in the corner of two of the rooms?

Why - given you call yourself a landscape gardner - did you plant one giant buddleah bush in front of the windows? And only use one inch of topsoil on top of the hardcore rubble?

Why did you feel you had to leave huge holes all over the walls everywhere by taking even the built in loo-roll holder in the bath room?

To the surveyors: Why - despite us paying for a full survery which covered everything including how often we are allowed to blow our nose on a sunday according to bye-laws, _ did you at no point, did you tell us that the local electicity company forbade any planting of shrubs along the fence line as there are electric cables burried underneath, and so we found out by almost killing ourselves digging...

UnquietDad · 31/03/2009 16:26

People trying to sell "extras" for cash - such a scam.

It used to be carpets and curtains - as if you'd pull all your carpets up and take them. That was just a way of sneaking an extra thousand or two in without paying stamp duty.

Now it seems to be sheds, greenhouses, satellite dishes etc. - stuff which people have no intention of taking. Glad we called our vendors' bluff on the greenhouse!

Is anyone else reading this and wondering what their buyers would say about them?

Monkeyandbooba · 31/03/2009 16:42

LOL UQD previous owners would probably say to us "why do we have to live with the smell of your notoriously smelly dogs (Bassets) after you moved out", "why did you have to point out the exact spot you gave birth on the dining room floor", "why didn't you tell us that all the light switches are the wrong way round??" and finally "why did you think painting the kitchen purple was a good idea" [wink}

Northernlurker · 31/03/2009 16:54

UQD - mine would probably say that the wall behind the washing machine was damper than they expected it to be...but they paid the surveyor and all he had to do was look...he certainly spent a lot of time there with the damp meter so maybe it wasn't a shock after all? The gas fire was condemned after the purchase was agreed but I rang up and told the buyers that and they said not to replace it as they were taking it out anyway! The extractor fan worked like a dream as I spent a lot of time and money getting it fixed before we moved out - ironic then that the only thing in this house which doesn't work well is the extractor fan!!!

I also told them that any sofa had to come through the back fence and that the fence was on a hinge exactly for that purpose and I painted behind the bookcases in one room - on the day we were moving to avoid the patchy effect so many have described.

I think I was in fact a saint....

yomellamoHelly · 31/03/2009 19:47

Why did you not clean the kitchen and bathroom from the minute we'd agreed to buy your house?

Why did you let the cat pee on the carpet in the corner of the lounge after we'd agreed to buy your house?

Why did you do every job around the house yourself making every simple thing we did a nightmare for the tradesmen to correct?

Specifically:

Why did you lean the cast iron fireplace against the wall, prop a wooden surround against it and secure the whole thing with ONE nail? Apart from being incredibly dangerous the smoke leaked back into the room.

Why did you not weld the gas pipes to the fire in the same fireplace properly and yet leave us with a carbon monoxide alarm to reassure us?

Why didn't you ever strip the layers of wallpaper and paint the room properly? - in one room we had between no layers and 5 layers all on the same wall (previously disguised by carefully placed pictures/furniture)? In virtually every room?

Why didn't you extend the vinyl under you huge appliances you had so that when we put our modern and smaller ones in we didn't have to look at bare concrete?

Why didn't you use the correct thickness of MDF / wood for any of the shelves you put in the alcoves and cupboards and why didn't you just buy a proper wardrobe / storage unit instead of attempting your own?

If you loved your 32 gnomes so much why did you leave them?

Why did you cover the previous crazy paving that someone had laid over the previous concrete paving slabs laid on concrete (!) with gravel with gravel and "flower beds" and plant things that would never survive since they had less than 6 inches of soil? (Not appreciated while pg with nr1)