Submissions are invited of poetry to commemorate the life and mourn the death of DS2's guinea pig

[Threadworm]

Died yesterday after a mercifully short illness.

In Memoriam

So, farewell then
Beetle.
That was not your real name.

Internet paranoia has made me choose
An alias.
And Keith's mum says that Beetle is
A very good name
For a guinea pig.

Especially one that was black and fat.
That was probably what killed you.
Being so fat
I mean.

E. J. Thread, aged 17 and a half.

[onebatmother]

LOL mollyroger and at off you fuck.
and snoort at Habbibu - both poem and astonishing harness.

If I were a gp I would be coveting the hi-viz one.

[Habbibu]

In looking for things to plagiarise inspire me, I came across this - the random poem thing is quite cool.

[ruty]

blimey Habbibu that link was too subtle for me. Wonderful though.

[Habbibu]

Or terrifying.

[Threadworm]

[mollyroger]

thready, thank you for this thread, I am enjoying it mightily.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Your hair was so long, so soft, fair and wavey
Your eyes were so bright, you were one hot cavey.
What lead to your death, well we don't know that.
But possibly it was your bonking the cat

[nickytamoshantertwotimes]

Love this thread.

There really ough to be a guinea pig topic on mn! So many fans.

[onebatmother]

'Midst celestial reeds
He now doth play.
Acta est fabula,
Plaudite.

[talulasmumII]

i've heard there was a secret chord
that beetle's your name and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for food do you?
well, it goes like this the fourth the fifth
you got so fat you needed a lift
the baffled tm composing hallelujah

i love hamsters

[Hassled]

This is in Chat and it is just too damn good to lose - how does one go about moving it somewhere safe? Should there be an "Ode to a Dead Pet" topic?

[Habbibu]

Ask for it to go in MN Classics, hassled. Click on the red !

[Sibh]

I have met them at close of day
Coming with vivid faces
From playroom or desk among grey
Twenty-first-century houses.
I have passed with a nod of the head
Or polite meaningless words,
Or have lingered awhile and said
Polite meaningless words,
And never knew they cared
That a guinea pig had died
And amid the mumsnet hubbub
Would soothe a companion who cried,
Being certain that they and I
But lived where motley is worn:
All changed, changed utterly:
A new cult of feeling is born.

RIP Beetle

[Quattrocento]

Yeats? To commemorate a dead rodent? Is this what he meant by a terrible beauty being born?

[Hassled]

Have asked. I told MNHQ we owed it to the Guinea Pig.

[Pennies]

There once was an amiable Guinea Pig,
Who brushed back his hair like a periwig.
He wore a sweet tie
As blue as the sky,
And his whiskers and buttons were very big.

(Beatrix Potter)

[talulasmumII]

it's really weird..i like guinea pigs, love hamsters...but a mouse makes me run for my life.

[twoluvlykids]

I love this thread.

I'm not too hot at poetry, myself.

All contributors so far should be honoured...

[atowncalledalice]

An guynee pigge grose of hem kynde
Ycleped Beytle yaf delit in gyse.
Whylom his meister him did deide fynde.
He coude plese; now him list to lese.

[ebeneezer]

Do not go gently into that good night.
Guineas should run wildly at the close of day
(Burying snuffling whiskers into fragrant hay)
Squeak, squeak, against the dying of the light.

Love this thread. All the erudite ones, but esp "Off you fuck". Chortle.

[atowncalledalice]

Translation:

A guinea pig, a fat one
called Beetle, brought joy through his antics.
A while ago his owner found him dead.
He knew how to please; now it pleases him to leave.

[Boco]

Guinea Pigs graze all day through
So make an awful lot of poo
It's an unfortunately common fact
That this poo becomes impact(ed)
You mention Beetle wasn't fit
I'd guess your pig was full of shit
Upon you, Threadie, was the onus
To push down gently on his anus.

It's too late, the pig is dead
But keep that nugget in your head
In case you get another one
Always monitor its bum.

[ebeneezer]

at Boco

[nappyzonehasastroppytoddler]

firstly - condolences.... how old was he?

aherm....

oh guinea pig oh guinea pig how sad to see you go
oh guinea pig oh guinea pig your poo it made me throw
oh guinea pig oh guinea pig the time was right i know - on 2 for one in pets at home were sure to fill your home.

[ruty]