Super soaker etiquette at parties

[tigermoth]

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

[maidamess]

And all those soaking wet kids rampaging into your kitchen to refill their squirters.

Ahh, hapy days.

[WideWebWitch]

well i think you all need to get a grip about a bit of water

[pointydog]

tell you what, let's organise a mn supersoaker party but I, and I alone, will be the only mnetter allowed said supersoaker. That'll be Fun.

You love it

[pointydog]

come and get it

[pointydog]

Here's all you laughing pansies before I confiscate your weapons

[tigermoth]

erm, just for the sake of accuracy, there would have been two supersoakers, not just the one at the party, so someone else would have had one. Also my ds2 has been known to share them around and not have one himself sometimes (I know you won't believe me, but honestly, I have seen this happen)

I am a veteran of supersoaker situations as ds2 and other neighbouring children have water fights with water bomb and supersoakes on hot days here on our street. (And mainly it is running around, the squirting of water is very minimal as it's such a hassle to refill)

Most of the time, IMconsiderableE, there are never enough super soakers to go round as random children join in the game half way through. It's a bit like children being attracted to running through a garden sprinkler - those who join in as a rule don't mind getting a bit wet.

Now granted, having a water fight near to your home is different as you can run back in to get changed, but we never have neighbouring children complaining about getting wet - or their parents - or neighbouring parental bans on water fights.

I probably shouldn't tell you this but in for a penny, in for a pound - ds2 has told me today he cadged a crisp off a next door neighbour's girl in return for her employing him to squirt his supersoaker (once)at one of her friends down the road... a contract he will not be fulfilling unless we get some very sunny weather

[Youcanthaveeverything]

Hmmm, TM, more and more I get the feeling you are part of your sons difficulties and need to have many more 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' type conversations with him.

Please listen to the general concensus on here, it displays to you what other mothers may be thinking ,but not able to say to you.

I thought the fact he had his Ssoaker at the summer fair, pretty inappropraiate, and would have myself thought had I been there 'God I wish that child was controlled at bit more, there is a time and a place', but would have still made nice general chit chat with you.I'm sure there were a fair few thinking that.

Think about what others may be thinking, not just what your DS wants to do.

You seemed to go to quite extraordinary lengths to fulfill his fixation with Soakers at this party.(going home to put them in your boot etc).

A firm 'no, I'm unsure whether it's apropropriate or not, so I've decided you are not going to take it' should have sufficed.

You could then discuss why it may be inappropriate, and offer more appropriate time and places eg in gardens on a hot day, with children who have consented to water fight involvementt and have their own weapons.

Really, for your DS's sake, if in doubt about whether his beahviour may be viewed as wild, disruptive or whatever, err on the side of caution.

Don't you want to help him loose his 'livewire' reputation? It will be livewire to your face, but much worse behind your back, believe me.

[tigermoth]

It is me who has called him a livewire as a way of describing his active behaviour on this thread? I have given him that label, not the parents.It is not what what people habitually say to my face when talking about ds2 (to me) in real life. They normally call him by his name, but I agree it's generally accepted that he is lively.

FWIW If I call a child a 'livewire', here or in real life, I do not intend it to be a masked criticism. It's simply a statement that they have lots of energy.

Anyway, I'll be seeing a parent from school this evening as she's coming round for a glass of wine, so I might be able to ask a few leading questions.

[Youcanthaveeverything]

Didn't you say he has been described as a livewire? I may have rembered incorrectly, I have not checked.

But does he also not get many playdates and party invites? All seems linked to me.

I may be way off the mark, you know your DS, just the impression I get from admittedly limited information.

But maybe worth considering?

And then dismissing

[roisin]

Tigermoth - as always - I am in awe of you. Your calmness in the face of criticism is remarkable.

We really must meet up sometime!

Rx

PS My boys have just 'run away' aka stormed out of the house. This is a first for us.
But they haven't any money with them, so I don't think they'll be gone very long

[wulfstan]

tigermoth: your ds can bring his supersoakers round here any day

[Youcanthaveeverything]

Oh and RL friend will not tell the ablsolute straight truth.

It's just too hard, particuarly about poeles kids.

That's why MN is so vaulable.

[Threadwworm]

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of bringing the supersoaker to that event, just want to say that TM's ds sounds lovely. Sounds like he's got good judgement about how far to go with the SS. (I know that my DS1 would be an utter numpty and Go Too Far.)

[BexieID]

I must remember to get my collection of super soakers from my mums . I love a good water fight!

[tigermoth]

Roisin, are your two sons back yet? Hope so

Gosh you sounded very laid back about it, but as you say, they can't go far with no money. And yes, we must meet up!

[roisin]

Yes! They only lasted about 10 mins
They have quite a lot of freedom and independence now, and I think with some money might have disappeared down town to watch a film or buy an ice cream or something, which would have been far more nerve-racking.

[roisin]

I thought of you today tigermoth. Dss have been at 'day camps' at Windermere all week having a whale of a time, generally coming back filthy and muddy. There is an 'unwritten rule' that they can bring super soakers on the last day. In practice about 8 children plus a couple of staff (out of maybe 100 people in total) had waterguns, but the rest of them made up for it with water bottles and buckets of water. This afternoon they ended up throwing several members of staff into the lake. It was a completely wild, but on a hot day like today everyone enjoys getting soaked, don't they?

My two livewires still get rather excitable with water guns, but they had a fantastic time!

I was a bit when another parent suggested to my son, (not her own who also had a watergun), that he should fire at the head honcho guy! Fortunately he had the sense to stop immediately when he was told off

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[roisin]

Well, it depends what you call hot. We do live ooop north you know, and we're dead hard. Everyone strips off to bikinis if it's over 20 deg

[misdee]

its been pleasently hot here today, kids have had a water fight in the back garden

[tigermoth]

roisin, sounds like your sons had a great time and just goes to show that 8 supersoakers spread over 100 people can work on a warm day - especially with the addition of other ad hoc water throwing devices.

Definitely supsoaker weather for the last few days in SE London (IMO).

ds2 and I have been immersed in water for the last four afternoons - but not via supersoakers - we have been at swimming at the open air Lido.

[MaureenCognito]

Here

[gimmecakeandcandy]

It really is like talking to a child. Yes the op's tenacity is huge! And no, that's not a compliment...

[Littlefish]

Gosh, I remember this thread the first time round in 2008! I've obviously been here far too long.

ZOMBIE THREAD!

But worth a read anyway.

[coddy]

coughs