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Super soaker etiquette at parties

407 replies

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 19:22

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

OP posts:
pinkblossom · 18/07/2008 13:46

I thank you

FluffyMummy123 · 18/07/2008 13:46

Message withdrawn

tigermoth · 18/07/2008 13:51

unless the weather turns hot, no supersoakers OK - I will say it again! anyway, I am off now.

OP posts:
pinkblossom · 18/07/2008 13:53

BLOODY HELL WOMAN. NO SUPERSOAKERS. HOT, COLD, WINDY, SNOWY.

IT

IS

NOT

YOUR

PARTY.

GOOD. GOD. WOMAN. WEATHER IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.

nappyaddict · 18/07/2008 13:54

even if it does get warm (which is highly unlikely) your son should only be allowed to take them if he agrees not to spray them at anyone. it is not fair to let other kids get wet if they don't have anything to change into.

marmalady · 18/07/2008 13:54

Hear hear pb.

Was so funny to read this thread all in one go.

i heart mumsnet

partaria · 18/07/2008 13:56

me neither, but YES YES YES.

tis not about "you" or your ds, or what YOU think might be "nice" or pleasant on an afternoon at the park. or even about the fact you've given the hostess (remember she's fielding a whole class of young kids in the open air at the end of term...)your phone number. It's for YOU to have said NO to your own ds when the whole issue was first aired. if i was that other mum I'd be somewhere on a spectrum between mightily pissed off and somewhat irritated with you, and your "livewire" ds wouldn't be coming to any more parties held by me.

I suggested earlier - have your own supersoaker party another time !

yorkshirepudding · 18/07/2008 13:56

Message withdrawn

Morloth · 18/07/2008 13:57

In response to maidamess' vid:

ack!

partaria · 18/07/2008 13:58

i give up. you still think it would be OK if the weather turns ?

Just try to alter your perceptions of this for a moment. What will you do next time ds asks to bring the pita toy somewhere ? Just look at the weather before deciding ?

OverMyDeadBody · 18/07/2008 14:01

LOL

yorkshirepudding · 18/07/2008 14:02

Message withdrawn

OverMyDeadBody · 18/07/2008 14:05

Yorkshire I'm wondering if there will ever be any more invites?

pinkblossom · 18/07/2008 14:07

No, there will be no more invites. Even if a kid in his class was having a "supersoaker party"

pinkblossom · 18/07/2008 14:11

Because then he would be bored with supersoakers and would want to take his own bouncy castle to the party.

partaria · 18/07/2008 14:15

I am quite astonished at op's complete lack of empathy for the party hostess and for those children who wouldn't like to get wet - actually for ALL the children because after all it hasn't been billed as TM's ds's supersoaker party.

TM there must be some things in life you find irritating, maybe loud drums, reptiles, boisterous dogs, smokers, whatever. All we're asking you to do here is to step outside your own mindset for a moment and think about how you'd feel if something that REALLY irritated you was brought along to a party you were hosting, causing some or all of your guests to feel uncomfortable/pissed off. And the thing could so easily have been left behind.

And pleased don't say you are so chilled that no such thing exists !

Morloth · 18/07/2008 14:15

Which of course he will be allowed to take as long as it isn't too windy.

stealthsquiggle · 18/07/2008 14:16

Tigermoth you definitely should host a (generic, non-branded) water pistol party over the holidays - if everyone knows what they are getting into, it will indeed be lots of fun - and you will find out how many people think so by how many turn up (I would and DS would BTW, but if DS got caught in crossfire at a generic party he would probably burst into tears and/or thump the perpetrator)

yorkshirepudding · 18/07/2008 14:19

Message withdrawn

Spidermama · 18/07/2008 14:21

What a hilarious thread.

Tigermoth EVERYONE told you not to allow it. EVERYONE. I've never seen a thread like it. You continued to justify it despite the overwhelming opposition on here.

Not good.

You need to think about this. You need to think about other people and what's more you need to make sure your DS thinks about other people and takes their wishes and feelings into consideration.

I'll stick my neck out here and suggest that the term 'livewire' when used in relation to your son could well mean 'pain in the arse'.
The evidence on this thread, your attitude, your intransigence, is utterly damning.

spicemonster · 18/07/2008 14:23

Is this really not a wind-up? Truly?

In that case tigermoth, I salute you. Actually I salute either way - because you're either so chilled out you're horizontal and I think that's ace OR you have just done a very amusing thread

Can you post super-soaked pictures please?

TheProvincialLady · 18/07/2008 14:28

Am I the only person who thought this was going to be about a toddler who had exceptionally pissy nappies at paties?

This was much better, thank you.

onceinalifetime · 18/07/2008 14:36

PMSL at pb and taking own bouncy castle. Hopefully the mother running the party knows what she's dealing with and has secdretly switched venues leaving TM and little darling livewire alone to terrorise everyone else.

onceinalifetime · 18/07/2008 14:37

'secretly' even.

hatwoman · 18/07/2008 14:49

things you should not even ask if it's ok to bring to parties

  • nintendo dss
  • ipods
  • games for 2 people
  • any games at all come to think of it, unless you are offering to bring something for everyone that fits the theme/plan set by the host
  • super soakers.

easy.