Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Super soaker etiquette at parties

407 replies

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 19:22

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 18/07/2008 22:24

Message withdrawn

posieflump · 18/07/2008 22:24

pointydog - you truly are like a dog with a bone! You tal like round your way there are gangs of hoodlums with 'water guns' out to get you on every corner

pointydog · 18/07/2008 23:06

Dodge City round here.

splish splosh

onceinalifetime · 19/07/2008 02:13

Was this a wind-up? The birthday girl wore a red bikini......in this weather?

sushistar · 19/07/2008 02:54

What a fabulous thread.

Tigermoth, you're unique. Do you work in a job which requires fiddly accuracy and chasing things up? You should!

All's well that ends well. And I bet BD girl didn't want to get her new bikini wet.

Your ds's games sound very inventive tigermoth...

lizinthesticks · 19/07/2008 07:33

"Was this a wind-up? The birthday girl wore a red bikini......in this weather?"

"too cool and overcast."

hunts for 'perplexed' smiley

WideWebWitch · 19/07/2008 09:44

Hi Tigermoth. I've just read this thread with increasing surprise as I went through it at how vehement people have been about sayng no to the super soakers.

Tbh, if, when my ds had been 8, there had been an end of term thing in a park and he had a water pistol and had asked me if he could take it then I'd have probably said yes, you can, without thinkng much about it. I also think children + water pistols + end of term + putdoor space is fine, actually. It wouldn't have occurred to me that it would be rude or outrageous or anything.

I do think people are sounding a bit precious about the whole 'children getting wet' business on this thread: small children aren't made of paper! I also think if the other mother did mind then she should have said so. If someone had asked me I'd have said 'it's fine' and I would have MEANT IT. None of us is mind readers so when we ask for a view we expect some honesty.

I know I'm the lone voice on this thread but I think it's indicative of how sheltered our children are these days and how uptight and controlling many, many mothers can be that the very idea of a water pistol in a park at the end of term on a summers say is so outrageous . I know it was a party but it wasn't an indoor party, it was hardly equivalent to saying "can I scribble on your Renoir?" was it? But many of these posts seem to view is at so. But maybe that's childhood these days? Or mumsnet these days? I don't know, I can only express my surprise and bewilderment.

When I was small water pistols were great fun .

I also think all the unpleasant and personal remarks were completely uncalled for. Those of you who made them should be ashamed of yourselves.

Tigermoth has been posting for many, many years (since mumsnet began) and I too have met her several times. As you can see from her calm responses on this thread, she is a reasonable person and she certainly didn't deserve the unpleasant remarks directed at her here.

But hey, it was too cold anyway and all's well that ended well but I really am quite at this thread.

serenity · 19/07/2008 12:04

Haven't actually given a view on this (and don't intend to, lol) but just want to say, water pistol to supersoaker is like air gun to AK47

Glad the party went well though.

silvermum · 19/07/2008 12:47

another message in support of Tigermoth here. No real views on suitability or otherwise of supersoaker at parties - my DS only 11 months so not quite got to that stage yet! - but don't think there was any cause for mean and judgemental responses, esp not the one equating "live wire" son to "pain in the arse." that's a pretty horrible thing to say to any mother, esp one who is just asking for views on a parenting dilemma.
hugs to you, tigermoth, if you feel hurt by some of the extraordinary responses to your quite reasonable original post.

Janus · 19/07/2008 14:31

God, where is everyone's sense of fun?? I would absolutely agree for super soaker and would only emphasis that he must share it if other people want a go. Similarly, if anyone tells him to stop, as you have told him, he must stop. I would have NO problem policing such a thing, if kids get upset (the wet farts) then just stop the water.
I will now run ...

Youcanthaveeverything · 19/07/2008 15:17

Water pistols - fun squirting others

Miserable being squited yourself

Unless it's a very hot day which makes it just about bearable and worth tolerating enough for the payoff of squirting others.

Being randomly squirted by the only 2 poeple with water pistols-not fun.

Honestly. Just beacuse people aren't crying when squirted doesn't mean they're not thinking 'i really wish they wouldn't do that' or even 'please just fuck off' whilst maintaining a fixed grin so as not to look like a good sport.

I found your reluctance to say no to your son quite concerning, and the fact that you had to fabricate reasons.

Sometimes just no, should suffice. But in this case there were good reasons that you should have been able to tell him.

It does make me think that there is a link between your reluctance to say no and him being a 'livewire' who rarely gets invited to parties.

Collision · 19/07/2008 15:37

Just read this through.

I think WWW that there is a huuuuuge difference between water pistols and ssoakers.

WPs are pretty lame and you do get a bit damp. With a ss you get completely drenched.

I think the main point (and not meaning to offend) was that TM seemed unable to say no to her ds when everyone had strenuously declared no to the ss at someone elses party!

I think if I was at a party having food and drinks and was suddenly drenched from head to foot with water with no way to defend myself then I would be very peed off.

I do not have an aversion to ss's but on this occasion I do agree that ss's were not advisable.

WideWebWitch · 19/07/2008 16:02

i cant presume to spk for tm here but from what i know of her she's perfectly capable of saying no, she just wasn't sure whether she should or why. i went and gooogled for a ss image after reading this thread and still don't see the big deal tbh.

Nagapie · 19/07/2008 16:04

anyone seen this today in the Times??

fallingdown · 19/07/2008 16:11

no wonder he's a 'livewire' if you never say no to him

Original poster
tigermoth · 19/07/2008 16:13

My ds2 would be very chuffed that you assume his can aim his supersoaker so accurately at people.

I did say there were limited supplies of water, as the park had no running water facilities at all. Any water used would have been what was in the super soaker already - when it ran out, that would have been that.

WWW, you took the words out of my mouth about people being a bit precious about a bit of water, outdoors on a hot day at the end of term.

I wonder how this thread would have gone if I'd started it in the middle of a heatwave?

As for negative comments - they will only upset me if I choose to let them I made my choice - simple.

OP posts:
BetteNoire · 19/07/2008 16:18

TM - I don't think people have a problem with water pistols necessarily.

It was more that it is unfair for one or two children to have them if the others haven't.

And that if the birthday girl wanted super soakers at her party, surely she would have said so?

It is perhaps the assumption that your DS should be able to do something that affects all the other guests, and that would perhaps cause some upset to other children (ie: if they got wet and didn't want to), that riled people?

Anyway, it didn't happen in the end.
So all is well.

1973 · 19/07/2008 16:19

I [heart] Tigermoth

misdee · 19/07/2008 16:25

i love a good water fight myself. but it needs to be fair, with everyone being able to have access to water.

am looking forward to when the dd's are a bit older and they get involved in water fights in the street.

lazyemma · 19/07/2008 17:17

"I know I'm the lone voice on this thread but I think it's indicative of how sheltered our children are these days and how uptight and controlling many, many mothers can be that the very idea of a water pistol in a park at the end of term on a summers say is so outrageous . I know it was a party but it wasn't an indoor party, it was hardly equivalent to saying "can I scribble on your Renoir?" was it? But many of these posts seem to view is at so. But maybe that's childhood these days?"

What a crock. One of my earliest memories is of getting a bollocking from the boy next door's mum for soaking him with my water pistol so that she had to change his clothes. That would've been in 1980, so I doubt we're quite on our way to hell in a handbasket just yet.

pointydog · 19/07/2008 18:46

agree with those who say it's not water fights that's the issue, it's one person having a gun when all teh others don't. That's not fun. Nothing to do with being precious

Podrick · 19/07/2008 18:55

Yes.

Supersoakers for all

or bin 'em

Podrick · 19/07/2008 18:56

Actually I thought this thread was about nappies from the title

FluffyMummy123 · 19/07/2008 18:57

Message withdrawn

DontlookatmeImshy · 19/07/2008 18:57

Sorry if it's already being said but..

"Remember she has a get out clause - she has my utter permission to ban the super soaker on the day - can do so 2 minutes into the party if she wants to."

You are passing the buck!. If it has to be banned on the day, she gets to be the mean old killjoy, not you. How convenient.