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That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

716 replies

MrsWhites · 14/12/2025 13:54

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

OP posts:
ldnmusic87 · 16/12/2025 10:55

We once had a guest who didn't want to play any games, and complained if we wanted to, she only wanted to watch church livestreams.

Snakebite61 · 16/12/2025 10:59

GhislaineDeFeligondeRose · 14/12/2025 14:42

Sounds like a job for Guest be Gone

Good old Viz 🤣🤣👍

Gardenalia · 16/12/2025 11:31

I think it’s me - I make the bread sauce, then I eat all of it (well, practically)

Differentforgirls · 16/12/2025 11:39

KilkennyCats · 15/12/2025 22:12

He’s your dh’s son?? Why not just invite him to dinner?!

" We invited him one year and he just claimed he forgot. We waited and waited in vain, before we had ours. We found out from his brothers later that he hadn't forgotten at all, was just to windy me up"

Rescuedog12 · 16/12/2025 12:17

Milkbloo · 14/12/2025 15:16

The one who opens my kitchen cupboard and stands there gormlessly asking “ where is the English breakfast tea.” As if it’s a staple of every household. Ohhh godddddd. !

It is though.

Snowangles · 16/12/2025 12:53

@ldnmusic87

We have one of those but at least we are spared the church live stream. Why bother going somewhere else if that's all you want to do

ChocolateCinderToffee · 16/12/2025 13:15

localnotail · 16/12/2025 10:41

Are you sitting there mushing it up with your fork until it looks like its been chewed up and spat out? And then eating it? I would find it vomit inducing.
If I knew you I would have asked if you'd prefer if food comes to you already pre-mixed, like blended in a blender.

I sat diagonally opposite a guy at a work Christmas lunch, who did this, and ended up with a crick in my neck from turning my head away.

KilkennyCats · 16/12/2025 13:20

Differentforgirls · 16/12/2025 11:39

" We invited him one year and he just claimed he forgot. We waited and waited in vain, before we had ours. We found out from his brothers later that he hadn't forgotten at all, was just to windy me up"

Thank you. I must point out, though, that the bit you’ve quoted was actually added after my response.
As is actually quite clear if you read the post properly?

Differentforgirls · 16/12/2025 13:45

KilkennyCats · 16/12/2025 13:20

Thank you. I must point out, though, that the bit you’ve quoted was actually added after my response.
As is actually quite clear if you read the post properly?

It wasn't clear but I apologise. Didn't realise she'd edited.

UserNom · 16/12/2025 16:41

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 16/12/2025 10:16

It takes longer to dry. You've got so many layers of fabric, then you double it with no space for air in between. It's much more efficient to peg trousers at the ankle, inside out if they have pockets.

Not if you peg them with the waistband open. They actually dry quicker that way than from the ankle. Physics, innit!

ETA: So you undo the zip of your jeans (say). You then peg the back waistband to the line, two pegs as wide apart as you can get them. So each side of the front waist band is flapping down. They dry much quicker that way, than upside down.

Parry5timesbeforedeath · 16/12/2025 17:00

FiredFromACannon · 16/12/2025 08:08

Mother in law who licks her fingers as she’s eating then pokes food on other people’s (ie almost always mine) plates saying ‘ohhh, that looks nice’ it’s a fucking roast potato Jane, you’ve seen them before, stop touching my food! And of course there was the memorable Christmas dinner where she would not stop talking about DH vomiting when he was a teenager, 20 years ago, despite us both getting really angry with her and telling her to stop. She’s not invited anymore.

I have an aunt like that.

Literally puts her fingers into other peoples plates.

She also, more than anyone in the entire whole wide world likes chicken skin and pork crackling so when these meats are resting she comes and removes said chicken skin and pork crackling again with her fingers and eats it over the sink. I recall one year my father catching her with a cigarette hanging out the side of her mouth and fag ash dropping over the pork while she did that. The ensuing shit show was something to behold and he has never eaten a meal with her since. That's I think about 35 -ish years now.

considertheravens · 16/12/2025 17:08

SarahAndQuack · 14/12/2025 15:42

I am trying to be charitable, because I know you feel the cold more as you get older. And I also know your sense of smell goes. But my mum drives me mad.

Invariably, she gets herself chilled on the journey up, and comes in shivering. I prepare for her coming by setting the heating around 23, putting clean blankets on every sofa, putting a stack of blankets and a thick duvet in her room, etc.

She will be wearing various layers of clothes, none of them terribly clean, with a jumper that has obviously not been washed for several weeks (she is quite open about this). In the heat, it starts to smell. Then either I swipe it off her with a cheerful 'just putting a wash on and I'll pop this in too,' or I struggle on.

Inevitably, jumper or no, she will do something like pottering round the garden without her coat, or going for a bracing walk in the rain, and she will start shivering piteously. At which point my dad will leap up and ask in concern 'is the heating even on?!' while theatrically feeling up the (boiling) radiators.

I turn the thermostat up to 24 and DD strips to her vest.

Mum refuses a bath or a shower (which might warm her up) on the grounds it is far, far, far too chilly to think of such a thing. If I am lucky, she will tuck a clean blanket over her filthy jumper. If not, dad will start telling me how heating really needs to be over 18 and this 'very very cold house' is a false economy. He'll fiddle with the thermostat and express concern that it doesn't seem to heat much.

DD goes bright pink and becomes listless.

Sometime around 11pm, I will surreptitously turn the heating back down to an artic 22. Then it stays on all night.

In the morning they will finally declare they are quite warm enough, thank you! Until the next time mum decides it's absolutely crucial to spend three hours in my garden in the frost, wearing a coat designed to protect you from light summer showers. And then we're on to round two.

Invariably, I will be told sadly how my 'very cold house' is all to blame.

Loved your post. Your writing reminded me of The Provincial Lady ❤️

SarahAndQuack · 16/12/2025 17:13

Grin Ha! Well, I am provincial. I am not sure how ladylike I am. But thank you!

Gwenhwyfar · 16/12/2025 18:58

"I thought 'builders' tea' was bog standard tea bags like PG or Yorkshire? Rather than teas like Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong?"

Yes, builders tea is a strong 'normal' tea. A 'normal' black tea is also called English Breakfast. Doesn't matter if it's PG or Yorkshire or whatever, it's just what the usual tea is called.

riceuten · 16/12/2025 19:52

ChocolateCinderToffee · 16/12/2025 13:15

I sat diagonally opposite a guy at a work Christmas lunch, who did this, and ended up with a crick in my neck from turning my head away.

I worked with someone who demanded their turkey, potatoes (and gravy) and veg all be served on 3 separate plates. He then ate each in turn. The restaurant did this without question.

nonumbersinthisname · 16/12/2025 20:05

I’m thankful that my family is relatively tame and well behaved. We do have several “do you remember the Christmas when…” stories from when we were children where elderly relatives misbehaved. The highlight of which was my prim and proper grandma falling out with her prim and proper brother and using language that we had no idea she knew! We all thought it was hilarious and DB and I thought it was great that siblings could still squabble when they’re adults and apparently old enough to know better.

When I host i avoid intruders in the kitchen by setting up a tea station in the utility room with kettle, big bottle of water, teabags sugar and milk. My family are all massive tea drinkers and they are instructed to help themselves and stay away from me. It works! They then do the clearing up while I put my feet up with the Baileys.

My worst Christmases were with my late MIL. She didn’t have any other family (DH is a single descended from a line of single children) so it was just us three and cooking stressed her out so much. She also had some kind of undiagnosed food anxiety. Anyway, my first Christmas meal there was two slices of turkey breast, half a dozen boiled potatoes the size of new potatoes, a tablespoon of sliced carrots and a tablespoon of peas. That was it. The next year DH and I cooked “to reduce the stress” for her and it resembled something closer to a proper Christmas meal but it was exhausting listening to her chuntering on about how disgusting the bread sauce/gravy/pigs in blankets etc looked and how she could never eat it and didn’t know how we could. We generally got on well but she couldn’t seem to help herself with a constant commentary when it came to food. The solitary small box of chocolates got handed round and put back the cupboard after we had one each. If we suggested breaking out some of the many treats we’d brought with us we’d get the cats bum mouth. It was utterly joyless, and I hated the years it was her turn - she wouldn’t travel to us as it was too far for her.

RessicaJabbit · 16/12/2025 20:28

Mylobsterteapot · 15/12/2025 18:50

Anyone who puts meat utensils or cutlery in non-meat dishes, especially if I've not had a serving yet.
Cheers Uncle Fred, I now can't have any potatoes, leeks or parsnips. And you've used all the veggie gravy despite it being in a tiny jug, labelled with my name and next to me to avoid this.
That was a sad Christmas dinner.

Why wouldn't you be able thave any potatoes?

Unless he touched every single potato with a meat utensil??

Miaminmoo · 17/12/2025 00:35

My FIL walking in on Boxing Day and turning my Christmas music off because he wants the football on - he has a house with several TV’s and I suggested he could go there and watch it. It doesn’t matter who is playing, he has to watch any sport that is on. Also, loves to ask me to do something - such as get him another drink when he can see I’m running about getting dinner ready and his son is literally sat next to him doing nothing. I finally pointed this out last year and it would seem that it hadn’t occurred to him that men lift a finger 🙄

T1Dmama · 17/12/2025 02:25

firstofallimadelight · 14/12/2025 14:26

Mil who cooks up gigantic portions (refuses all offers of help) then gets arse on that she’s had to do it alone and complains if people can’t finish the massive plates ful

i think you’re my SIL as my mum does this!

RessicaJabbit · 17/12/2025 06:59

Last year had sil and 11yo nephew over for a Christmas tea party. Usual sandwich, sausage roll, type thing.

Tea was at 6pm, arrive at 5:30. Sil came at 6:15 and was late "because nephew was hungry. So cooked him pasta"... So fucking annoying. Nephew ate about 3 crisps.

He could have just waited, or been given an apple or something to tide him over, but no she made him a full meal

MoonWoman69 · 17/12/2025 07:23

@RessicaJabbit I'd have lost the plot! Why the hell didn't she just give him a packet of crisps to put him on til he got to your house?!
Some people have absolutely no thought x

ThatBlackCat · 17/12/2025 07:44

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 16/12/2025 10:16

It takes longer to dry. You've got so many layers of fabric, then you double it with no space for air in between. It's much more efficient to peg trousers at the ankle, inside out if they have pockets.

It's the other way around. Water crawls down and pools down so if you have the waistband at the bottom the water pools in the waistband upside down and it takes longer to dry. That's why they are supposed to be waist up, not upside down.

suburburban · 17/12/2025 08:25

Miaminmoo · 17/12/2025 00:35

My FIL walking in on Boxing Day and turning my Christmas music off because he wants the football on - he has a house with several TV’s and I suggested he could go there and watch it. It doesn’t matter who is playing, he has to watch any sport that is on. Also, loves to ask me to do something - such as get him another drink when he can see I’m running about getting dinner ready and his son is literally sat next to him doing nothing. I finally pointed this out last year and it would seem that it hadn’t occurred to him that men lift a finger 🙄

I don’t understand people who are not in their own house behaving like that.

we don’t tend to have tv on anyway if people are over

crackofdoom · 17/12/2025 08:53

"Helpful" relatives who insist on doing the washing up and drying up (we are a proud slattern household and just leave the dishes in the drainer to dry normally) and then pile all the clean stuff up in the middle of the only empty worktop because they "don't know where everything lives".

sueelleker · 17/12/2025 10:38

ThatBlackCat · 17/12/2025 07:44

It's the other way around. Water crawls down and pools down so if you have the waistband at the bottom the water pools in the waistband upside down and it takes longer to dry. That's why they are supposed to be waist up, not upside down.

I fold mine over the line, just below the crotch. So both sides can dry.