DH says cat needs to show more gratitude

[UngratefulFeline]

I’ve been away for a few days and DH managed the kids and the dog just fine.

He’s upset with our cat though and says he made a real effort to bond with him by giving him treats, protecting him when our dog had the zoomies and making sure his bedding was fluffed.

DH said the cat gave nothing back, blanked him and even swatted at DH when he tried to pet him.

DH wants to know why the cat doesn’t show any gratitude. I explained to DH very carefully that the reason the cat doesn’t show any gratitude is because it is a cat.

DH says that is illogical and there must be a real reason and “it’s a cat” doesn’t cut the mustard.

YABU- Deeper reason why cat won’t show gratitude
YANBU- it’s a cat.

I had such a giggle reading this. Has your dh ever met a cat before?

Does he not realise that he lives in the cats house now and it's only fitting he shows his gratitude by fluffing the cats bedding and providing plenty of food and affection like any good servant?

Personally I think it's quite nice he really wants to be the cats BFF.

Op,
We have a cat, we had her since she was 6months old, she's 10years now.
only the last 2-3years she started to be more responsive to my partner. He gives her treats.
if she want treat she will sit next to him and look pretty, cute, even give a headbutt, but as soon as she has her treat she goes away.

he need to educate himself about cats behaviour. lots of videos on YouTube.

He really does not get cats does he?The cat has condescended to live with you, which is as much in the way of gratitude you are going to get from a cat.

Get him to read "Old Possums Book of Practical Cats" because he really does not have a clue.

Your DH clearly doesn't speak cat yet... you may still be able to teach him though.

Dogs are social animals, they thrive in groups, evolved to hunt in packs, and have a natural pecking order. Dogs show behaviours that we might read as gratitude/ affection because that's how they bond with their strongest pack members (humans). Knowing their place in the pack makes them feel secure.

Cat's hunt alone, they aren't relying on good relationships/ communication, they don't have the same need for reassurance of their place in the 'pack'. They know are the centre of the universe and aren't going to stoop to sucking up to us and seeking approval like a dog does 😆

I think it's tongue in cheek.

Op , as a terrible people pleaser I like that about them. I have never had a cat, husband absolutely hates them (which actually means he is scared of them) but there's a beautiful one near us and it will come up for a tickle but as soon as it's had enough it's off. I admire that in them. I also though admire a dog that's not needy!

YANBU

Your DH should be eternally grateful the cat has deigned to allow him to be in the vicinity of its mighty presence.

That's how it works.

Great thread 😀 can you possibly have a word with the cat OP and maybe get the cat to purchase a small gift for you DH in order to build the relationship between them.

This is my rescued cat.

She was dumped pregnant at a shelter at 6 months old because her owners didn't want a cat anymore. She was stick thin and scratching herself raw with open sores on her feet. She is also a tiny cat.

As far as she is concerned, she is the most excellent, magnificent and important creature that has ever set paw upon on earth. Her presence is the present. She has done me the honour of not only existing in my home, but permitting me to spend a small fortune figuring out exactly what she is allergic to (its a few common cat food ingredients plus grass pollen) and buying her toys, blankets, and hypoallergenic collars, because clearly I needed something to spend my entire salary on.

She is actually affectionate, but its not gratitude. Its the beneficence of royalty waving and parading past their loyal subjects.

I've never had a cat so can you please enlighten me about orange cats? I've often heard them mentioned as though they're different but don''t know in what way.

I’m in an abusive relationship with my cat as she is prone to bouts of violence but equally can be very lovely to me. She is totally ungrateful of my husband and he knows he is probably 5th in line behind me, our son, my mum and the pet sitter chap 🤣 It is what it is and that’s what I like about cats!

But he's a cat! Our two now are more affectionate particularly DBoycat2 and they are relatively grateful (for cats). But our DBoycat1 who I loved more than most humans ran rings around me, was never grateful, was very demanding and could be quite the bully. But he was a cat. That's what cats are like!

Which is somehow endearing when it’s a cat.

I had the decomposing mouse as well only it was under the sofa where I sat. I kept spraying with Febreeze thinking it was me, until I moved the sofa and there it was. Not a mark on it so presume it died of fright as the cat must have chased it into the lounge.

We have two black cats (brothers), one with more white than the other. The one with less white (who's the CF from my last post) when curled up reminds us of Toothless from How to Train your Dragon. He is very affectionate if you pick him up, he just melts into you and purrs

We've had cats of various colours but I'm nearly always drawn to black. Maybe I was a witch in a previous existence😂

Don't be ridiculous @Blackdow - it's a cat being a cat and husband wondering why they have one as it doesn't respond like a dog. OP had to explain that is because it's a cat. Nothing more sinister than that.

"I explained to DH very carefully that the reason the cat doesn’t show any gratitude is because it is a cat."

You win Mumsnet today.

I have just remembered my old landlords cat, a huge London black and white who for two years completely ignored every one of my attempts to make friends - until the landlord and family set off on their travels in a camper van and let the rest of the house out to strangers. At which point the cat became my very best friend and companion, to the extent of following me everywhere, watching me in the bath, trying to sit on my lap when I was having a wee and lying across my door in ambush mode when I refused him bed share rights. He was my huge little shadow for two months, I thought I had a friend for life, but our beautiful affair ended the second my landlord and family returned. The cat raced towards them like a panther and you could almost hear the romantic music swelling to a glorious climax on the soundtrack as he lavished them with unconditional love and kisses.

And that was it. Reader, he ghosted me.

Apparently the most affectionate cats are ginger boys .
But ................( yes there's a downside ) they have go go on a rota for their turn with the Shared Brain Cell ( one brain cell between the lot of them )

Ours , (identical twin black cats ) are Gaslighty Little Feckers who stride past "Is that her or him that;s come in? " ......"No idea"
There are subtle differences in their body language and their ears .
She used to click her claws on hard flooring , now he does it . (See , Gaslighting )

Ha Ha Ha 😂 What was he thinking 🤔
Great post.

@CustardySergeant

There is a stereotype that orange cats are a really affectionate and a bit dumb.

I’ve had two ginger cats, a boy and a girl, and it’s true of both of them. My girl can be quite forceful when she wants a cuddle!

Ginger cats (usually toms) have a reputation of being especially affectionate

🤣
With that attitude he’ll be waiting a long time.

It's a cat.
Eat, shit, feed, repeat. Well until it forgets to look when crossing the road then it's a dead cat. Not very clever things.

Thanks for all the replies to my question about ginger cats. I am now edu-ma-cated (well about that anyway). 😊

Much more clever than some humans I would say.
Much more pleasant too

I LOVE CATS! THEY RULE!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 He needs to learn that cats don't care!