Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

@PersephonePomegranate23 we’ve all been there. I certainly have when I wanted to go out, but was a bit skint. Although on an office day we do bring in cakes and bits so anyone who came in the evening definitely would have had a lot to eat in the day as well.

Well done OP, I think you may have seen the last of him! What a CF he is .If we go out with friends we always split it .My Aunt and her DH treat us ,however I will always just have a diet coke ,and say Fish or Chicken,sometimes she will say have a Steak .I never presume and often pay the tip myself

'I won't be doing that again.'

'Result!' 💪

Another vote for the thumbs up reply to his complaint of being put on the spot, nothing will infuriate him more.

No other engagement.

@Payforyourowndinner Do this, OP. As others have said, make him spell it out. Surely to goodness he won't put in writing that he didn't want to pay for his own food??????

Huh? One course and drinking water IS normal. Three courses and fizzy drinks or alcohol is a treat. And a wee night work dinner, I wouldn’t always be able to manage three courses as I don’t enjoy it as much if I’ve had a long day and I’m tired.

I think it is pretty normal to have a single course, maybe with a glass of wine and a coffee after but not always more food. (And I’m not a tinkly laugh giant salad mumsnet tee. I enjoy eating and drinking lots of wine!)

I’ve got a 2 hour meeting now, will update later

Won't be doing what again? Freeloading of others?

Sounds like your work is done then 😀

🤣🤣🤣👍

I dont think your suggested answer needs to go any further than the first sentence, that stands alone imo

Of course it's also unfortunate that he's not on your team whatsapp which was used to discuss the team meal so therefore he didn't know about the team decision.

@Payforyourowndinner

Excellent! Hope the greedy tucker has learned his lesson and, no doubt, this anecdote will do the rounds so other teams may follow your example.

All hail the menopausal woman! I'm post menopausal but I'm in the MN school of "give no fucks"! 🌹

This is wonderful! I wouldn’t normally agree with setting someone up but this guy needed this so as to show him he shouldn’t be taking advantage of other’s good will. @Payforyourowndinner you are now my hero!

Another vote for a simple thumbs up and nothing more!

I like @sockarefootwear response.
Polite, professional, not accusatory but making the point.

If it wasn’t on a works team message I would probably dig more for exactly what he won’t be doing again (freeloading? Being greedy? Coming out with your team?) but I don’t think there’s much to gain from that.

He’s feeling the shame. Good.

I would ask him to clarify what he means and say nothing more until he has done that.

Yes, at home!

‘You were not put on the spot, you put the entire team on the spot by asking them to split a bill which you had ordered the lions share of. You even said you would not have order this amount had you know you had to pay for yourself, wanting the team to pay for your meal. No one should go out for a meal expecting others to subsidise them.’
without wanting to tittle tattle I’d be tempted to have a quick convo with hr to get the facts in just in case he starts pointing fingers, just so they are aware!

Reply well you wont tag along to another teams night out . Well done OP - If its on TEAMS even better so he cant go running to HR

Ask him what he meant. Force him to say it.

I hate it when people freeload like this. Many years ago I went for dinner with colleagues - I had very little money, just enough to pay for a main and soft drink. It hadn't been decided how the bill was to be settled at the end and so I found myself having to pay more as my 'share'. If I'd known, then I'd have had a pudding as well (and this still would have been less than I ended up paying). As it was, I ended up buying the cheapest main on the menu and subsidising others for their steaks and prawns, and Irish coffees, and who knows what else.

So, from that 20 year old me, thank you OP for standing your ground. People like him should not be allowed to get away with it. Make him squirm!

Ooooh this is good.

I'm veering between how I would be replying:
"I won't be expecting to have my more expensive dinner subsidised again. There, corrected that for you." (Sarky)

Or:
"Won't be doing WHAT again? Can you explain?" (Pass Agg)

Or:
"Too late, everyone else agreed they won't be 'doing that' again. 'That' being splitting equally and ending up paying over the odds because some people over-order." (Blunt)

I am over invested in this. I can't believe he had the audacity to message you and moan about you daring to curtail his scrounging!

You do understand that people are struggling, don’t you? Team meals are important. Missing those events can impact your career, so you make an effort to go buy it does mean having to order cheaply especially the junior staff.

I'd say

I'm sorry you feel like you were put on the spot. My team were aware that everyone would be paying their own bills. I wanted all of the team to feel able to attend and paying your own felt the fairest and most inclusive way. The difference between junior and senior members if staff wages is significant so i felt it was best for everyone to order what they could afford. Afterall, It would be unfair people to be expected to subsidise others. We will continue to pay our own bills moving forward. I'm sorry it that means you'll be unable to attend.

Wow. Nice me always though people like this were oblivious rather than calculatedly sponging off others. Now I know better.

Nice one OP!