Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

Yes, you really stood up for them too. So great.

Brilliant @Payforyourowndinner , just brilliant. 👏

Well done indeed! I've experienced this and very early on learnt to make it clear from the start that I am not there to fund others lifestyles and choices. On the flip side I have family members that order little, then mop up others extra side orders and think they only have to pay for what they ordered, even though they benefitted big time from extras! Stopped this behaviour too and said you ate it, you pay for it, which wasn't popular, but I am not here to lead a popularity context anymore. This post is a great example to follow, of setting the rules from the get go.

OP, you've brought back memories of "corporate" lunches/dinners as a junior where I couldn't enjoy the amazing meal at the wonderful restaurant- because I didn't know who was paying for what. I had a Corporate Amex with a MUCH lower limit than the higher-ups, who "filled their boots" as you say!

I'd just sit nervously, order the least expensive things & wait. Wish you'd been there as my boss at the time!

I love a veggie lasagna & will make one in your honour- I'm calling it "BAD ARSE MENOPAUSAL LASAGNA". You'll be forever in my heart 💋

Freeloader lol. I agree, menopause does things, it makes us honest and not give a f*ck...probably too much...but i think you handled this correctly, the tight bastard

I think you're amazing.

I used to get caught out with splitting.

It was for someone's birthday so there was the cost of the birthday meal as well.

When I paid for my meal plus the birthday meal was no more expensive than splitting!

Also, this sort of thing puts me going out in big groups as it's happened to me before. I hadn't been drinking, ended up paying for other people's huge drinks bill. Then when you question it, you are seen as "difficult ".
I always put in a bit more than I've ate/ drunk but don't like getting the p!ss taken out of me. Would definitely say something now!

This needs to go in classics! Bravo you 👏🏻

Love this. In my ery first job when I had very little money I went out with my manager and some colleagues. I had a garlic bread for my main course! And water. Because I Barely had any thing and they split the bill. I didn't even know that was a thing then. I look back and it was really awful that my manager and older senior colleagues didn't pick on it. I ended up having to borrow from my mum for the month. It was a humiliating experience and it has lived with me and I try to arrange things that people can join in now. So I applaud this! Hurray!!

That's really sweet. Well done for sticking up for them.

Well done!! I love this and I bet the younger ones love you! Eww what a gross cheapskate man

My younger self (I'm now a very assertive old bag) would have thanked you OP.

A solid bit of leadership.

I am so envious of you. I was caught like this once at a work meal.
For some reason, I was not drinking alcohol at the time, and only had 2 courses, compared to others who had an expensive bottle of wine, and 3 courses.
To make it worse, we had all had a pre-drink first in the pub nearby, and we were obliged to put some money(10.00) in the 'kitty', so my pre drink orange juice was horrendously expensive as well. (At least one other person had a whiskey).
I was much younger, then, and worked with a male dominated office, and did not feel up to a challenge, although one other person remarked it was unfair, but they insted this was how they always did it.
I never went out for a meal with them again (possibly lost out in other ways then).
I have been very sensitive about this since then.

I'm shocked to read that senior colleagues earning a big whack expect junior and younger ones to subsidise them!! They should be ashamed.
I worked at a place years ago where most of the staff were fairly young and not earning much. Around once a month our big boss used to take us all out for a meal and pay for everything, just as a treat for his staff
Lovely man he was 😍

The menopause has some benefits. The lack of fucks to give being high up on the list. Well done OP.

Gosh. I would have assumed he had a lack of awareness to be splitting with more junior colleagues after eating and drinking his fill, not that he expected them to subsidise him. The mind boggles... And it's not as if he thought the company was subsidising him either, but lower-paid employees... I can't, even...

I would never put a more junior colleague in that position. I only propose a bill split when I know I'll be significantly subsidising them (I don't drink and the young'uns on my team all do).

Thoroughly enjoyed your post OP. What a wanker and so dropped himself in it. Nice one. Ripping off your less well off colleagues to stuff your face - what a prince.

UPDATE. I wasn’t expecting this at all, but TW (tightwad) has sent me a message on teams.
“I didn’t appreciate being put on the spot last night. I won’t be doing that again”

WHAT??! Now normally I’d ignore, but since you’re all involved, what shall I say? (Also aware it’s over teams so a work platform!)

😱 cheeky bastard!!!

"Hi Tightwad. So good to know that you won't be taking advantage again. Thanks for letting me know, I will pass it on to the others there."

I would respond calmly with something along the lines of 'It was not my intention to embarrass you, however it had been agreed in advance through my team that we would not be splitting the bill and it is not for others to be subsidising other team members' and leave it at that. He wants you to put something he can use against you.

I would bring this up in your next 1 to 1 op (also menopausal).

It's blatantly obvious that he expected everyone else to sub his massive meal and drinks - he admitted as much. He's been caught in an expectation of taking advantage of not just junior staff on a lower salary but of other colleagues, and needs a senior reminder that he's been taking the piss. Majorly.

As a manager I would have zero problems having that conversation with a cf who's been caught red handed.

Well done op. I applaud you!

I won’t be doing that again

Job done then!

You're absolutely amazing OP! This thread is made me so happy!!