Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

You are amazing @Payforyourowndinner. The only thing I can add to his being put on the spot comment, would maybe to ask him what he thinks about junior members being put on the spot when he doubles their bill, if it bothers him so much. Or water drinkers paying for 2 beers and a bottle of wine.

I also think he's going to be WFH for a bit as he doesn't want to look anyone in the eye in case they laugh at him, and rightly so.

I think stupid as well as he's not realised he has just outed himself.

Bloody made my day this 🤣🤣. Well done OP. The pure cheek of the man!

I had this with a friend

Would squawk about having no money for things like rent and bills but always had money for clothes,treats and the dog(she got a kitten not long after this)

Anyway,we'd meet up occasionally for a root round the charity shops and a coffee

Only it would cost me a fortune in coffee as she only liked the posher coffee shops and would buy the large cups (I used to be a total people pleaser)

One day,my ds came to vist me and we met up with her

He clocked onto what was happening and waited until I'd paid for a coffee for us,he then did the same and she suddenly suggested we go to the most expensive coffee shop in our town

Ds waited until we'd sat down and said 'well Lynn,it's your turn now,mum's got you one,I've got you one-its your turn'

The face! Honest to God,it had to be seen to be believed

She did take her round (got us the smallest cups) and moaned like fuck that the dog wouldn't be getting his usual 3 maccys shakes that day and she now couldn't afford the shoes she'd seen that she wanted to buy, as she is now skint

My ds just ignored the moaning and told her he'd really enjoyed his coffee,but didnt want anymore caffine that day,did she fancy going onto her fave clothes shop before we all went home?

Oddly she didn't,left us and I've not met her for a drink since-this was pre covid (and thanks to mumsnet,I stopped being a people pleaser and set more boundaries)

Turns out she was doing this to a lot of people and simply moved on-I think she was used to others smoothing her way in life

he would though. I'll have an £80 meal and only pay £40. Fantastic - sign me up.

"Fight him in the carpark instead" 🤣🤣🤣

This point has made me realise something...

So they might just be thinking that person is mean because they are paying for themselves and it hasn't even entered their thick heads that the person has also ordered something cheaper to fit within their budget.

One of my most hated expressions is "it's only money". Usually said by people who either have tons of it, or don't understand it.

I've signed up to say you win mumsnet today!! 🤣

Thank you for sharing, this made my day. Thank you also for standing up to him for all the junior members of staff. I bet they all love you.

He just likes going to other team meals.

I'll bet he does . . . 😡

Let's hope word gets round and everybody else gets wise and follows your example. And also keep it quiet so that he gets the drift

What if Mrs Freeloader is on here. She's going to be mortified. Though this will get picked up by the DM I'm sure.

Well done op. I've been stung like this earlier in my career a few times starting off as junior, felt like i had to join such meals to fit in. I would go on the restaurants website beforehand to check what i can eat on their menu and how much it would cost and eliminate dessert or drinks if it didn't match my budget let's say £40/50 and only to walk out paying £100 or more. That extra £50 i paid subsidising other people's steaks and wine meant that i financially struggled the last week before pay.

It’s just horrible @pickytube and it’s happened to me. I used to be a people pleaser, and I was thinking to myself earlier if this had happened even 10 years ago I probably would have paid the split bill then seethed but I really cannot be bothered any more. I won’t be paying for anyone else’s wine! (Not anyone I work with anyway, always happy to split with family and friends as they don’t take the pee)

BR, I was just thinking DM.
This could backfire on OP.

See you there OP!

Actually unless he says or does something outrageous I'd just ignore him now. However, I'd take screenshots of your Teams exchange on your personal smartphone, just in case you need an audit trail in the future. Then do the equivalent of grey rock on teams. 🌹

He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting - he really said the quiet part out loud?

There's something really striking about that bit but I can't put my finger on what it is.

like...he's so up himself, he thinks everyone should be glad to sub him?

I’ll fight him in the car park

Do you need anyone to hold your coat? 😂

Sadly I don't think his I won't be doing that again isn't because he's seen the light.

I think it's an I won't be coming out with you any of you again so you can't treat me like that again and you'll miss my scintillating company.

I tend to eat a lot and drink cocktails when I go out, so my meal always tends to cost more than other people's. I wouldn't dream of expecting other people to subsidise my meal, so always make a point of saying that my bill will be higher even if people want to split, and I pay the extra. Well done for calling out that behaviour OP.

Indeed.

There is working from home, and there is "working from home".

I'd be careful OP. When he said 'I won’t be doing that again' are you sure he didn't mean he wouldn't pay the whole of his share if put on the spot again? If he tries to attach himself to your team meal in future, I'd make very sure he his either told it's the team only or that he will be expected to pay for what he eats.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

It can indeed be taken either way @FangsForTheMemory - but the "I didn't appreciate being put on the spot" bit sounded aggressive.

He could have just apologised.

Or said nothing