Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

Well done, OP. That message from Mr Tightwad McFreeloader is unbelievable, I can't believe he had the gall to send it. I would simply ignore it, and if he doesn't ever join your team again on an evening out, no loss.

On meals out, my team usually split the bill, with the understanding that the two most senior members, who earn quite a lot more than everyone else, take care of the drinks bill. That way everyone can enjoy a couple of drinks. I've never noticed anyone taking advantage, though - we usually get enough bottles of wine for everyone who wants to have two or three glasses, and no-one takes advantage. We've been doing this for years, long before Covid. In these more difficult times, though, I'm now wondering whether we should revisit, and have everyone pay for their own meals, with the drinks taken care of as per our current arrangement. There could be more junior people, or let's face it anyone in difficult circumstances, who might appreciate the opportunity to eat less and pay less. I'll float it as a suggestion for next time.

Does he really not understand that this is the fair way of doing it? how bizarre.
well done for standing up for everyone!!

At the end of the day it's meals that he hasn't been invited to & tagged along to so I'm not sure what point he's trying to make/prove by opening this up on teams.

tell him he wasn't put on the spot and probably owes a lot to others from past meals. He was simply asked to pay his way, he's no reason to complain at all.

When I was young, I was mostly driving, and didn't really drink anyway, even if I wasn't driving.

So I always asked for a bill adjustment.

In a social group, one guy got really annoyed with me, asked for a copy of the menu to check the price of my diet Coke, and then had the nerve to ask if I could give him a lift home.

It's harder to call out this behaviour at work meals but not drinking is usually the best way.

There's always somebody who says "everyone will enjoy this bottle of wine" and order something really expensive - and then mostly drinks it themselves.

So they can't really argue when a non-drinker speaks up.

I have found that some restaurants are willing to give individual bills but I haven't been to a work meal for ages, so don't know if they still are.

I get that it's hard, especially a work thing, to speak up.

I would quote his own words back to him in your reply (so that it's on record), "I never would have ordered all that if I'd known", and say something like 'I was surprised at your own admission that you intended to significantly financially benefit from splitting the bill, and that this was the reason you ordered such expensive items. As you must know, many of our team are new and therefore on lower salaries. They will have decided what to order based on what they can afford. We are all feeling the pinch at the moment and it makes far more sense for everyone to pay their own individual bills, as it prevents people having to pay £20-30 over and above the actual cost of their meals. I am shocked that you intended to use this lovely team dinner as a way of having a subsidised meal that you had no intention of fully paying for. You should have declared this intention at the start of the night, and then we could have let you know that we had agreed to each pay for our own meals. To be honest, this behaviour and mindset is very concerning and not compatible with our team's work ethic.'

Cheeky prick looking for a subsidised meal 🙄

One person said "a main and a glass of water sounds pretty miserable! Does no-one eat normally?!"

Had he even offered round for sharing any of the food and wine he'd ordered, @Payforyourowndinner ?

I'm with the pp who think he should be asked to clarify what he means. Innocently bewildered question - sorry, gannet colleague, I'm not sure what you mean. Give him enough rope ... ?😉

I would ask him what would have happened if everyone had decided to eat and drink the same amount as him and split the bill so that everyone was paying £85. Would he have been happy with that, or does he think that only he should consume to excess so that everyone else can pick up his share?

I think @neverenoughplants has it spot on

re meal and tap water, can't see what's wrong with that. They ordered what they could afford and what they needed.

Just WOW!

He's a big old ball of entitlement and ego, isn't he?!

Keep a log of his message and don't rise to him, OP (not that I think you would - you've dealt with all of this beautifully).

I'd be tempted to just reiterate what you said last night, which was to point out that your responsibility is to your team, that you all opted out of shared payments and, if there is further pushback, that he's not a member of your team so didn't need to be consulted and that it's not up to junior team members to subsidise more senior staff's meals.

His nose has been put out of joint but he has such a brass neck on him I wouldn't be at all surprised if he does turn up at another meal!

A combo of socks and never enough plants responses would be perfect. You def need to reference his comment.
Can't wait for your update!!

He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting

What a knob!

Bravo @Payforyourowndinner! 👏The "silent hot chocolate" nearly had me weeping - it shows how much you standing up for them meant to the junior staff. 😍

@MNHQ I nominate this thread for "classics". 😃

What would you eat at home on a week night? We usually have just a meal and a cuppa. I'd feel odd ordering coffee at a restaurant with my main. I'd have come but plenty of people wouldn't do caffeine so late. Does a glass of lemonade or a j2o elevate the meal so much?

I don't think there's anything wrong with ordering a main and a glass of water either.

Edited to add - now my post looks weird because you've edited yours 😆 But I appreciate it nonetheless

What a cheeky so and so.

Well done for calling him out OP.

What an absolute arsehole. And to so publicly demonstrate his freeloading nature via a Teams message 😂

I’d respond along the lines of “you weren’t put on the spot at all. You were asked to pay for the food and drink you’d ordered. Why wouldn’t you expect to do this?”

He reminds me of a guy I went on a date with once. First date, he insisted on dinner (I wouldn’t normally do first date dinners but was ground down and agreed). I had a main and a lime and soda. He had 3 courses and a couple of beers, then suggested splitting the bill.

I just laughed and said I don’t think so! I’ll pay for what I’ve had, thanks. No second date lol.

I wonder if you're like me.

I always used to find it easier to defend other people than to stick up for myself.

Nowadays I do both.

I have found that some restaurants are willing to give individual bills but I haven't been to a work meal for ages, so don't know if they still are I go out once a month with 4 or 5 friends for a meal. We go to many different places, some expensive, some more budget, but we ALWAYS pay our own way. Never had a problem getting individual bills.

Slight detail, but I read this as “a combo of socks and never enough pants” and thought the thread had taken a turn I hadn’t noticed.

Anyhow. OP 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@Newestname002 I could fill a whole thread with his entitled behaviour & unfortunately he's brought his kids up to be mini me's. I don't understand how he thought I'd have a spare £10k lying around.

Someone did comment it was boring.

This belongs in ‘classics’. My favourite thread by a mile. OP I salute you