Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

"What on earth are you talking about? You didn't appreciate PAYING FOR YOUR OWN MEAL as opposed to having your meal subsidised by others, including those who earn considerably less than you do? I think it's best you don't join my team for socials again."

If you really want to piss him off but be professional I would respond:

”apology accepted”

Perfect response

Haha! I'd play dumb: "I'm not sure what you're referring to with regards to being "put on the spot". Are you saying you didn't appreciate paying for your own dinner last night? I'm not sure why that would be an issue or who you think would pay for your dinner. Everyone paid for what they ate. What exactly is the problem?"

This is such a great, inspiring thread. Perhaps we can nominate it to be added to classics? Unsure if anyone else has suggested it yet. 🌹

We joined friends for a meal a while back and their other friends came too, we knew them a bit so said ok to split the bill, as was more usual practice then.
What I did not know was that the friend was going to have four porn star martini cocktails before the meal and then have 3 large gin and tonics during the meal. Obvs she ordered starter (scallops, always remember that! ) main, pud, coffee and none of them were cheaper items.
Never went out with the cheeky couple after that and our dear friends said they always did that.
Love the idea of karma on this post.

Oh I love this. Absolutely brilliant OP. Well done you ❤❤

I’d say something like this. You don’t need to mention anything about the disparity in pay between team members or the cost of living crisis. Even with these issues, no one should be expecting anyone else to pay for food they’ve ordered.

What won’t you be doing again?
Paying for your dinner?

It's Taylor Swift "Karma" but I altered the third line to fit!

Fucking GENIUS! I love you! 😍

I did this years ago (in my early twenties) my friend had ordered a side and water, as she was strapped for cash. One team member suggested splitting the bill. (friend came and whispered in my ear in sheer panic)
He had a starter, main, side, desert and two cokes. He argued the toss, as he'd not had any alcohol.
I made it very clear that was still a hell of a lot more than just a starter. I've always been a bit bolshy though 😂

To be honest I've been on lots of mums nights out where certain people order £40 bottles of wine. It's just a piss take, I'm less likely to cause a fuss now (ironically) but it spoils the mood.

You did a Good Thing in so many ways OP.

Not only did you prevent the lower paid members of staff being fleeced, but it meant that they could enjoy their meal without worrying what they might end up having to pay.

A PP mentioned how she was terrified that she would be left short of cash at occasions like these because of the "we'll just split it" policy - and every glass of wine would have made people's hearts sink a little more if they were on a tight budget. We go out to enjoy ourselves. And now you all can.

I like sockarefootwear‘s response. Polite and to the point.

This is a good reply but I would fjnd it hard to resist an added comment about his remark "as you said last night, you wouldn't have ordered so much so now you are aware we won't be subsiding you"

This! And he's not even on your team. Freeloading bastard.

No one said there was anything wrong with a meal and water? The point is that I deliberately chose tap water and then was forced to pay for other peoples more expensive choices.

We had a woman like this at work. She's order 3 courses - usually with fillet steak or something similarly expensive. The first couple of times the bill was split but the rest of got fed up subsidising her. So the next time we had a word with the restaurant beforehand so when it came time to pay, the waitress came back with the order sheet with everybody's total amount at the side.
As the OP said, "Oh, the face!" Needless to say, she never came out for another meal with us.

Love it.

That seems to sum it up succinctly!

Wonder what he won't be doing in future?

Shame no one on the team that he gets on with thought to give him a heads up😂

Fantastic, well done. I bet he is spitting feathers. I love good news stories like this.

I would reply "That's great! Thank you"
Certainly don't get into any explanations as it just makes you look over invested.

Good for you and for the others.
It's so out of order when people order loads and others end up subsidising. It actually puts me off going on group meals. I could pay for my own and the birthday person or hen or whoever but it always ends up being more than that so I just don't go to events where everyone ends up getting a group bill if I can avoid it.

I think if you have the guts to do it and stand up to people like that then you are doing others a favour. It's not tight. I happily paid the bill yesterday for coffee with a friend. We had coffee and toast and jam so £13. No problem and I was happy to pay but his bill of £83 should not be put upon members of staff who don't earn much. That is so selfish!

I agree with this.

If he doesn't elaborate people might imagine that you really did do or say something totally unforgivable or inappropriate t him. He will be able to play the "wounded innocent" card, and say that he couldn't defend himself because he was so shocked by <imaginary accusation> that he doesn't want to talk about - no - no, he won't speak it. It was Too Unfair and Too Terrible.

Push for clarity.

WHOA, he's a piece of work! Good thing he's not on your team.

I wouldn't reply at all. You're not his line manager. Don't inflame & don't explain. Your work is done. Sometimes the best & most insulting reply is none.